Sara

“I want you to bed me. Properly.” She clarified in a low voice, eyes moving over his face, studying him intently. Heat pooled across her skin and her breathing wasn’t going to calm down any time soon. Her thumb swept an arch over his cheek, keeping him where he was so she could look at his face. “I do not want some man I do not know and do not love to have my virginity.” She explained, thumb still tracing circles over his skin, “I thought it was an honour I had to save for him, whoever he is.” She swallowed but her resolve didn’t falter, “That doesn’t seem fair when the man I love is here with me now.”

It felt…different. It had always been wonderful for her, always maddening and confusing but this felt serious in a way she couldn’t articulate and wouldn’t try to. It felt like gripping onto a life she could have had by the tips of her fingers, and she was utterly unable to let go. She wanted to haul herself up completely, into his waiting arms. She wanted only him, in every way that mattered. She broke the kiss with a gasp for air, still on his chest but panting heavily. Her eyes had lost that frenzied gleam and instead her face belied an odd clarity. She gripped his cheek firmly, the skin warm under her touch. “I want you. All of you.” There was no wavering in her voice, no doubts in her head. He was hers, in every way that mattered and she couldn’t keep clinging on for just the faintest parts of him anymore.

She gave him a weak smile, trying to be cheerful as he framed her face and then he kissed her and she understood. There was absolutely nothing to say, nothing to make this any easier or any better, and so she kissed him back. Her own hand moved to thread through his tousled hair and she fell down onto his chest. She loved him so damn much this kiss was firmly on the border of pleasure and pain, and she deepened it - lips parting as she moaned softly against his lips. She wanted to understand everything she couldn't say; I love you, you're mine and I'm not going anywhere.

“She did help me. And with Peregrinus’ birth.” She let out a sigh. That Tertius had allowed her to be here for such on occasion was a kindness she hadn’t expected, but she genuinely didn’t know if she could have done it without her friend. Her support had meant everything and it’s absence in her life felt like a hole in her heart if she dwelt on it for too long. Fortunately Tertius’ words cast her out of those thoughts and into another set. She gave him a curious look and a bemused little laugh. “I don’t need a guard with me, I know you worry but what would happen to me at the markets? Or baths?” She stroked his arm, “You don’t need to worry about me and I’m not going to ask your guards to trail me around fabric stalls. They would die of boredom, no?” And she would feel so suffocated she might choke.

She gave him a pained look, her mind drawing to a complete and utter blank for anywhere else to meet if they lost this place, a place that had become a genuine sanctuary for her. She let out a shuddering breath and sat back on her heels next to him, angling her cheek into his palm. “I think it hurts so much because it felt…normal.” She whispered. Much like she rarely allowed herself to be a mess, she also rarely allowed herself to voice her feelings. She was trying to change that. “It felt like a home. Our home.” She glanced around the bedroom mournfully, “And now it’s ruined.”

“There’s nowhere else…” She protested with a little shudder and a shake of her head. She pushed herself up on his chest so she could peer down at him. The composed, almost regal young woman he’d found in the garden had been firmly replaced by a watery-eyes, splotchy-cheeked young woman who quite suddenly seemed very much the twenty year old she was. “We cannot meet in public, we cannot go to your domus or mine, we cannot rent a room somewhere…” She exhaled a breath. “Can…can you amend the rotas? So nobody else looks into these houses but you?”

You are worth it, he said. I’m not, she replied in her head but melted into his arms all the same, falling down onto his chest to curl up, letting the upset flow out of her as her sobs and shudders subsided. “I’ve upset you…” She whispered into his neck. She’d never seen Lucius like this before. Despite all her composure when in public, she was always the one that broke down in private. Never him. “We need to be more careful next time…” She mumbled, “I-If somebody else walks in, it’s all over.”

She met his gaze as he asked and she gave a genuine, small smile followed by a heavy sigh as she turned her eyes back up to the sky and the clouds drifting past. Her fingers still trailed soothingly over his arm. Oddly, very oddly given it was him, the repetitive action brought her comfort. "No. I was lost...I had been here, in your house, for two weeks or so and I was sent to the market and I had no idea where to go or what to do and I couldn't find my way back here. She heard me asking for help and she was kind. Walked me back." She smiled to herself a little bit at the memory. "She's from the tribe next to mine...our people had been at war for years but all of it was forgotten when the Romans came...it's why our accents are different, anyway." Or they were to her. She couldn't fathom that they sounded similar to Tertius.

She gripped his hand, despite her anger and anxiety, she gripped him for dear life and tried to steady her breathing at his command. Her chest felt on fire, all of her felt on fire. She inhaled through her nose and out through her mouth, gulping in air. Breathe. Listen to him. At his words, she did look at him and held his gaze. The anger on her face softened into one of clear pain, of worry but she listened to him. He was scared but he trusted Titus. That he was sure of. She swallowed, trying to take it in. He trusted the blonde man that seemed to hate her. She nodded silently and exhaled a deep, shuddering breath before nodding again, more sure and resolute. "You trust him..." She repeated. "You trust him..." She swallowed and nodded, gripping his hand and bringing it to her lips to press a kiss against his knuckles as he muttered. "You're worth it..." She breathed, "Even with all of this."

"How can you be sure?" She demanded and pushed herself up on his chest, blinking wide, watery, dark eyes at him, fingers curling into his tunica across his chest. "How do you know? W-what if he mentions it to somebody at the castra? What if somebody overhears you talking to him?" Her mind was running a thousand miles an hour and her upset and fear was now morphing into anxiety...and anger. "Why aren't you worried about this?!" She choked, pushing herself up to kneel by his side, peering down at him. Her breath was rapid, chest rising and falling almost painfully. "Why are you not scared?!"

No, you won't, because I'll leave you. Those words were implicit and rang loud and clear as day in her head. She would end things, once she was married. Out of a sense of duty and obligation she couldn't break. It broke her heart, as she knew it broke his. She curled against his chest, shaking lightly. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me," She tried to help down a breath and her fingers gripped his hip, as if by being close to him all of this would go away. "H-he'll tell somebody. You heard how he spoke about me." With not so thinly veiled disgust. Her thoughts were already drifting away from the fantasy of running away together, even if in that moment, for that heartbeat she would have done it if he'd agreed. But he didn't, and reality was sinking back in. "My father will kill us." She breathed.

"Not ever." She choked, not thinking rationally...well...not thinking anything at all. "We should go," She shuddered into his neck, "To Egypt or H-Hispania, get married and leave the c-city." She wasn't thinking it through, wasn't thinking anything beyond the feeling of him holding her and the simultaneous terrors of being discovered and being apart from him, even if they were diametrically opposed. She swallowed, tears wetting his skin. "I love you so much." Her fingers gripped his shoulders tightly, burning his skin.

She grinned at Silanus, slipping into a new persona as easily as some women changed their dress. She arched a brow at Azarion, as if to say 'watch this', right as they were joined by Marcus. "I am, I am, but alas - not with anybody I want to talk to besides Azarion," Or do more with - but that was implicit, "Hence why I unceremoniously summoned you both." She casually slung her arm around Azarion's shoulders to lean against him as Marcus asked a question. "Not at all. We're old friends now." And if that didn't pique his interest, then nothing would. Flashing a smile at both the men in front of her she feigned ignorance for a moment; "And how rude of me, Marcus Junius Silanus - please meet Marcus Eppius Parthenicus, head of the Whites faction." What was it he had told her when he'd come to the Venus? "I work for a racing faction." She gave him a small wicked smile that said she'd done her homework, since then. "And his prize charioteer Azarion. We met at a party gosh...months ago now. Azarion introduced me to a new friend, and I likewise secured Lentulus' sponsorship for him. But I was wondering, Silanus, whether you're a fan of the races?" And if he was silly enough to fritter money away on a charioteer. Because if he was, then Parthenicus would be in her debt and she supposed he might have deep enough pockets to fund a small investment in her new business.

She sobbed out loud at his words. I don't want to hurt you. No, she knew that. Of all the people in her life she trusted Lucius the most. Even more than her family - they would always have an agenda to play, rules to live by - even her favourite brother. Lucius was the only one who gave her the freedom to be herself and...loved her unconditionally despite it. Swallowing another sob, she moved on trembling knees, stretching up to unbolt the door and swing it open. Then she fell into his arms, collapsing into his chest in a hug so tight it sucked all the air from her lungs, her arms tightly wound around his neck. "I love you." She choked. "I can't let you go, e-even if it kills me."

Her face tightened almost imperceptibly as she defended her friend; "I would imagine wearing a dress makes it difficult to be a bodyguard..." She thought Cynane would look beautiful in one - a long flowing gown that accentuated her curves and her femininity. She would never say that to her though, just as her friend never asked her why she didn't wear breeches. She used to - once upon a time. Dresses were a fire hazard in the forge. So that was a very clear; I'm coming whether you want me to or not, then. She breathed a little exhale and nodded. "It's sometimes painful to talk about," She admitted - she knew he liked honesty, "But it's easy with her. She understands. Even if she was captured in a war and I was not." She swallowed. She didn't even know if she'd told Tertius what happened to her. She doubted it, she couldn't imagine that he'd care. She sighed and followed her hand softly stroking his forearm. "I'll go and speak with her, this week, if I can find the time." She had all the time in the world but she wanted to delay it as long as possible. She had absolutely no idea what she'd say. TAG: @Atrice

He was pleading with her, but it didn't move her from her huddle on the floor. "We've been so stupid...so fucking stupid..." She wailed. There was a reason it was so hard to meet, why it had taken months for her to get to this point after throwing so many no's in Lucius' face she was surprised he was still here. And yet she'd thrown everything away for a few sparse afternoons of comfort. "What if it's a warning..." She choked, head on her knees so she didn't even know if he could hear her. "From the Gods. They send us somebody safe as a warning for us to stop before it's too late..." The thought, though, of stopping, made her shudder with a cry that shook her. The thought of stopping this was as agonising as the thought of being caught.

Ovinia had only been this scared once before in her life, and it was an entirely different sort of terror, one caused by the knife of a madman. This was different - it was an overwhelming sense of dread that caused tears to stream down flushed cheeks, shook her limbs and made her curl up, back to the bolted door as she tried and failed to calm herself down. Somebody knew. Somebody knew. Lucia probably had a very good idea, Alexius too, but both didn't know the full extent, they hadn't seen the full extent of what she'd done. This man got a perfect view and he knew them, knew her. She felt sick and bile rose in her throat. Lucius' knock made her jump as she choked on her breath. She pushed her hands through her hair, making no move from where she sat back to the door, arm wound around her knees as she trembled. He might, a voice retorted in her head. "Wh...what are we doing?" She choked out, clearly terrified. "You'll be k-killed...what are we doing..."

“And you don’t get to be a sanctimonious prick anymore.” He retorted with a smirk. “I’ll keep this to myself. Mainly because I don’t want to get crucified.” He shrugged and pushed himself off of the pillar to leave, pausing just for a moment. “You need to get another set of keys cut or this will happen again.” He said matter of factly with a lump shrug before turning on his heel, speaking over his shoulder. “Hope she’s worth it, sir.” And with that he slipped out into the street. Day fucking ruined.

He scoffed again, shaking his head. “This is a dangerous fucking game. With peoples lives.” He glanced up at the ceiling above them where his woman had ran to. She couldn’t even face this conversation, he wondered if she could cope with the reality of what she’d done. “If I was a lesser man, I’d say this is a perfect opportunity for you to bribe me for my silence.” He huffed.

Titus groaned, shaking his head. He had some vague notion of sympathy for Lucius. The man looked…broken by the thought of it ending. Which it would, painfully undoubtedly. But the overriding feeling was one of deep annoyance. “You want her to be happy…” She scoffed, “Sure she’ll be perfectly happy when her father runs her through with his trusty gladius.” The muscle ticked again in his jaw, flexing. “And you’ll be dead too and guess what, so will I if anybody finds out I know about this.” Selfish but true. “Because I’m party to this now and guess what, I’m a freedman Lucius, and not a citizen. I wouldn’t get a nice clean death. Your love worth more than my safety, hm?”

A muscle in Titus’ jaw ticked and he huffed, shifting against the pillar. He had never been in love, he half believed it didn’t exist and people just confused it for lust. That explanation would work plenty well for Lucius and his rich girl. “And when she gets married, what are you going to do?” He asked firmly, although a hint of concern shone on his face. “A few minutes of pleasure with her are enough to throw your life away for? Your career? You can’t have her, women like that-” He waved a hand in the direction of the stairs Ovinia has run up, “Will just hurt you in the end. She is going to move on and you will stuck here being a miserable fucking prick. She’s not worth it.”

Titus huffed and rolled his eyes at Lucius' explanation. Maybe he had the faintest modicum of sense, but then again... "Oh yes, it's fine, I'm sure her Papa will be delighted to know you haven't actually fucked her, just pleasured her naked on a couch in an abandoned domus. And what did she do for you Lucius?" He scoffed but that was too much for Ovinia and she bolted, sprinting from behind the tree to the stairs at the back of the domus, before either man could catch her. The sound of a door bolting and locking into place sounded through the quiet house and Titus huffed. He did not like to upset people...most people...but he had the firm impression she was just a typical insipid rich bitch, so fuck her. Glaring down at Lucius he shook his head. "I thought you might be doing this, ever since Saturnalia, I just thought you had more sense than that. They would kill you for this...they will kill her for this...not to mention what they'll do to the centuria for you abusing your rank in the vigiles to get those fucking keys." TAG: @Chevi

Titus just glared at Lucius as he picked up the chiton and made his way back to Ovinia. He didn't move any closer to either of them - from what he could see from his vantage point - the girl looked ready to bolt. He didn't blame her, although she should of perhaps thought about doing that before fucking his centurion in an abandoned domus in the middle of the day. Patrician idiot. Ovinia snatched her dress from Lucius, unable to look at him, unable to do anything put hurriedly pull it on and clasp the shoulders. She was dressed at least, but still stood behind the tree trembling. Titus cleared his throat, watching the pair of them with narrowed eyes. "Are you married?" He asked Ovinia who couldn't even answer beyond shaking her head, barely visible to Titus but he got the gist. Oh Lucius was a fucking dead man. "And what happens when her husband realises she's not a virgin on her wedding night?" He arched a brow and a muscle in his jaw ticked. "You're not a Patrician any more, Sir, you don't get to do whatever...or whomever you like." TAG: @Chevi

Ovinia couldn't breathe. She was trying desperately to, but all she could think about was her father walking in through that door, her brothers, her mother. She clawed at her neck, trying to calm herself down and found it wet from tears that were slipping down her cheeks. She was under absolutely no illusion that her father would kill Lucius on the spot. There would be no trial, and no need for one - he was a Praetor with the ear of an emperor, Lucius would be run through before he could say one word in his defence. She had no idea about herself and oddly, that wasn't her first concern anyway. Death or exile, probably. All because of the man now standing before Lucius. She didn't risk looking at him, and didn't think she could raise it from where it rested against the tree anyway, but she heard Titus. The blonde vigile? The glaring one? She didn't know if that made it better or worse but she didn't care. She managed to choke out through sobs. "M-My dress..." She gestured weakly at either man to the crumpled chiton at the pillar beneath Titus' feet. TAG: @Chevi

The scene would have been comical, had it not been so utterly serious, and had it not been his boss standing there in his underwear, sporting a nice flowering soon-to-be bruise under his eye. He rolled his eyes as the woman tried to hide herself more behind the tree and set his jaw as he turned to Lucius. He held up his keys, they were jangling in his hand. "The other set is missing." He arched a brow at him. "Guess who drew the short straw to come and inspect it." He huffed and folded his arms, leaning against a pillar. The naked woman was still there, on the periphery of his vision but he tried to keep his eyes on Lucius, his voice hoarse from barely suppressed fury. "You are a fucking idiot. I'm guessing her father doesn't know she's here?" He waved a hand in Ovinia's direction.