Lazy Days

[Sharpie]

"Well, apart from the fact I hadn't expected to marry quite so young - something I have never regretted! - I think things have turned out more or less as I would have hoped." The early marriage and the civil war which had contrived to keep him away from his young bride for a far longer period of time than anyone could have anticipated.

"I shall take Titus - as you say, he will like it, and he ought to begin to get a grounding in military matters, although if he prefers some career other than the military or the full cursus honorum, I won't hold it against him." She would worry about him, of course she would - mothers did, after all. "I daresay you and Calpurnia will appreciate some time together at the villa without a male presence to cast a damper on your conversation."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk, and his chin on his clasped hands, gazing into his wife's face. "You are just as beautiful now as you were when I marrid you," he told her. "Maybe more, you have grown more... regal, over the years."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia arched a brow; "Is twenty-seven really that young?" She shook her head. "And here I was thinking I was old at eighteen when we married." Of course things were different for women than with men. She only had twenty or so years of good fertility - which she was, at thirty-one - slowly drawing to a close, and so they married younger than men who could continue to give seed for years and years and years. Not that she ever really noticed the nine-year age gap between herself and her husband. Aulus certainly didn't look in his forties to her, and given she had always been a quiet, fairly reserved sort of woman, she had always been mature beyond her years.

She smiled and inclined her head as he acquiesced to take Titus. Calpurnia would be delighted. She was slowly but surely drawing in on herself in the way that a lot of young girls do when they start on their first steps to maturity. A ladies day with her daughter would be a balm for that, although she suspected she'd regret that when Calpurnia decided she wished to spend all day dressing up in Mama's clothes and cosmetics. 

His compliment caught her off guard and she tilted her head to the side, an impish little twist of her mouth on her face, "Regal?" She laughed now and that twist settled into an amused smile, "Let's hope none of the Imperials hear you say that lest they think you're getting ideas above your station." She waved a hand, "You're a notorious flatterer though Aulus." Not that she minded. She'd gone to great lengths to keep her figure slender, and ensure her pale complexion remained free of tell-tale lines. Whilst not a vain woman, and more comfortable with herself than she ever was, it helped her feel her best.

She leant forward in her own chair until she could reach out and softly pry his hands apart, taking one in her own. She was content to sit in silence for a while whilst lightly running her thumb over the back of his hand. When she did speak it was about as mundane as one could make it, but after over ten years (and then some) of marriage, their relationship was no longer filled with the new and exciting - great professions of love and sweeping grand gestures - and that suited her fine. "Some of the official's wives who I sew with," Not her favourite pastime but also not her least favourite, "Were thinking of going to one of their husbands villas near Curia when the weather warms in April or so. Would you be happy for me to go? It'd just be for a week or so, and obviously I'd time it with the tour." The women of said sewing circle were hardly close friends, but she knew it was important to be liked if only for Aulus' benefit (wives had a tendency to discuss female matters with their husbands, and she didn't wish to be considered stuck up or pompous). 

 

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[Sharpie]

"Well, the reason that you find so many pretty young women are married to hoary decrepit old senators is because a man's career generally gets in the way of him marrying much younger," Aulus told her. There was a nine-year gap between himself and Horatia, but he rarely remembered it, partly because he had married young (for a man - most of them were in their thirties or so when they reached a point when they could marry) and partly because Horatia's steadiness and sense had always set her apart from other girls her age. His own career had very much come between the two of them for six long years - something he didn't want to have happen again, if he could avoid it.

He held her hand in his, the sunlight gleaming on the ring she wore and sparking off the blue gemstone it was set with, carved with two clasped hands. It was a pretty ring, more delicate than his own signet ring, as befit a woman of her high status.

"A week in April?" He smiled. "There is absolutely no reason at all that my own inspection of the fortifications could not take place that same week, and therefore there would be no need for you to hang around here waiting for me. That makes perfect sense. I presume Calpurnia would go with you? Though she may find it intensely dull unless there are others of her own age."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She stroked her fingers across his own as he held her hand. "Mhm," She said with an impish smile, "I have to thank my father for not throwing me to a similar fate. One of the only other interested parties before you was a man in his forties when I was..." She frowned, "Fifteen? Sixteen, perhaps? He was two wives down already through divorce - each younger than the one before. My father cut him off before he could even really suggest a suit." She shook her head. She practically understood that husbands tended to be older than wives, and undoubtedly that  would be the same for her own daughter when she came of age - but there was difference between one decade and three. How a man old enough to be her father had even entertained the idea of a suit was beyond her, but then again, the psyche of men was largely an enigma to her.

But she nodded, with a smile. How was he that thoughtful? "That sounds perfect," She concluded with a soft smile, "And she'll come. Even if she is bored and finds the whole thing dull it will be a good lesson for her." Her fingers softly stroked the back of his hand, "She'll not be a girl forever, and I think she has a notion that grown ups can do whatever they please...I'd like her to have an education on the role of a wife, and matron, as well as the books and art she enjoys so much." The thought that one day her sweet Calpurnia would be wed and away from her was deeply painful, and she knew it would happen sooner than she thought. In a blink of an eye, she'd be a woman and wed. She just hoped not to a man as old as her first suitor had been...But maybe it would not even be that far away. She knew some girls were engaged well before they reached womanhood, and wondered if Aulus' rapidly rising career would mean such a thing for her daughter. She stayed silent as she contemplated.

 

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[Sharpie]

"Well, I can't promise not to marry our daughter off like that, but I can promise to take her wishes, and yours, into account when considering marriage partners for her," Aulus said. Sons passed on the family name, daughters helped forge familial alliances by marriage. He had no intention of marrying Calpurnia off to someone old enough to be her father, but if a fellow Senator came to propose such a marriage, he would have to consider it very carefully, simply because that was the way the world worked. He would far rather his daughter marry someone suitable for her temperament - he had no wish for her to be unhappy, after all. "There is no rush, though, she should enjoy her youth - and you should be able to cherish the time you have with her without feeling that it is coming to an end too soon."

She would always be Horatia's daughter, of course, and whatever happened, she would always be able to return to her parents' home - but it was years yet before she would have to consider leaving it.

"I think she would perhaps be surprised, and not a little disappointed, that grown-ups have to do a great deal of things they don't want to," he added. He stroked Horatia's hand. Even if Calpurnia Horatia did not marry until she was nearly twenty, the years left before then would still be all too short for Horatia Justina. Aulus wished that she could have had more children, to delay the looming emptiness of their future home, but it had not happened. If their marriage had broken down, she would have been emancipated from her father had she borne a third child, such was the ruling of the Lex Juliae, from the early days of the Empire.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia managed a wavering smile and nodded. She was not a fool, she knew good marriages were rarely built on affection and certainly not love in the first few years. Age was simply a number when it came to eligible and suitable matches, but she trusted her husband. She knew him. And she knew that he would not cart off his only daughter to somebody unsuitable. It was, nonetheless, a painful thought. She reflected - trying to lift her spirits with a sly smile; "And I needn't worry - your parents are still young, and who knows - if Titus marries at around the age you did then we may have three generations of your family and their wives living in the domus." She chuckled. Much like she felt no man would ever be good enough for her daughter, she was certain that no woman was ever going to be good enough for her son. She was sure Aulus' mother felt much the same way about her son and Horatia herself - try as she did to disguise it.

She chuckled at his remark and arched a brow. "And what would you rather be doing instead of talking to your wife?" she supposed she was disturbing him, but made no move to leave - enjoying the intimacy. There was something on his mind, however. Years of studying him had taught her what all the subtle changes to his brow, the slight narrowing of his eyes meant.There was something he was dwelling on - and she, of course, had no idea he was thinking of children. She moved her ringed finger up to smooth out the frown line on his forehead and gently asked; "What are you thinking about?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"I honestly cannot think of anywhere I would rather be than right here with you, my dove," Aulus said, and laughed. "That would make for a crowded domus, I think. You know, I think it would be a good thing to set up our own home when we return to Rome - subject to what my father says, of course. I don't think that it would be at all easy for you to give up running your own home now, not after running the Governor's home for him. And very well, I might add."

There was a pause as Horatia moved her hand up to smooth his brow. "I was just thinking, you are an excellent mother. I could wish that you had had more children so that you would not have to face the lack of young people so soon. I can already tell that you will feel it dreadfully when they have both begun their adult lives."

He would be concentrating on his career, of course - but how would Horatia fill her time? She would probably find something - he could imagine her setting up some charitable project or institution, suitable for a woman. Or interfering ever more with the way the slaves did their chores. No, no, that would not be like her.

Not very much, anyway.

 

@Sara

Edited June 14, 2020 by Sharpie

[Sara]

She smiled brightly. "I'd like that, if your father agrees." Her parents-in-law spent more time at the villa as they grew older, but it was no substitute for having complete dominion over a home as she had here. It made her feel productive and useful. She wasn't somebody that enjoyed idleness as many women of their rank seemed to, and she'd thrived since they'd come to Raetia. It pleased her that Aulus saw it, in his roundabout way. 

But his next words caught her off guard and she blinked, cheeks flushing. Calpurnia was almost eleven and to her husband it must seem odd that whilst she had fallen with child only a month after their wedding, and then only a month or so after trying for another - in the intervening six or so years since his return she'd not had another. There had been the unfortunate miscarriage, of course, soon after they had arrived here - but she had never overtly mentioned it to him, and he likewise had never brought it up. He did not, however, know that she stockpiled silphium and other contraceptive tisanes and roots to ensure such a thing never happened again. She missed pregnancy and she adored being a mother but the birth of her youngest had scarred her mind and shaken her up so much that the thought of enduring it again terrified her. Yet that was the one great secret she kept from him. 

Her features were quickly schooled back into neutrality and she sighed. "Of course it'll be hard, but every mother goes through it - your own did." She offered and moved a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear, "And the Gods have blessed us with two perfect children, I can't complain." She swallowed. Whilst she did it for herself - quite possibly the only selfish thing she really did - it didn't mean a part of her didn't feel bad, "I'm just sorry...I haven't given you more." She didn't look at him as she spoke, concentrating on running her fingers over and looking at his knuckles.

 

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[Sharpie]

"No, no, it's all right - I hadn't meant to criticise you or anything," he said, suddenly concerned that he might have upset her. It was always the woman's fault if she did not get pregnant, or if the child was the wrong sex or something - which was idiotic, really, if it required a man's participation before the woman got with child. "I hadn't meant to blame you. I merely meant that motherhood suits you."

He felt as if he'd just put his foot through a rotten plank - or the conversational equivalent - without seeing the warning signs. "Don't feel bad about it - the gods have blessed us with two perfect children, why should we grumble that we don't have more?"

Plenty of patrician families had no more children that they did, they were hardly unusual in that regard. "Let's talk of lighter things... What was your idea for an indoor garden?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

He was so sweet. Too sweet. She smiled and glanced up at him, reading his mind in a way that all wives did; "I'm not upset, Aulus." She stroked her soft fingers over the back of his hand, catching on the glinting signet ring he wore. "And it is natural that I blame myself to some degree, you, unfortunately don't get to change that but...I'm happy, more that happy with what we have. Some women aren't even lucky enough to have two." Her sister was a prime example. Poor Livia. Then again, there were equally plenty of women cast back to their fathers after divorce for only having given their husbands a pair of children. 

She chuckled as he diverted the conversation and arched a brow; "I'm not sure - I'm not sure I have the expertise to design one myself but perhaps we could convert one of the spare storage rooms into an oasis of beauty for when the Raetian winters get too harsh for your fragile weak wife." She grinned, "Potted pants, maybe a vine or two - even a tree, a bench or two - a window maybe." She grinned, "Thoughts?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"I don't pretend to be any sort of gardener, but plants needs light, from what I understand. I am sure we can do better than some poky store-room, though. Somewhere with a lot of light, that isn't used all that much. Or hardly at all. Have you thought about the second audience chamber?" His predecessor had added to the rambling Praetorium, adding a new audience chamber, which Aulus used when he had to hear petitions from the people he ruled (in Augustus' name!) and the older room, smaller, had been left very much forgotten since.

"Would that suit your purposes, do you think?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She arched a brow, but her features were evidently delighted. "You think your officials would be fine with it? I don't want them to be aggrieved by your wife getting ideas above her station and hijacking your offices." She chuckled and nodded. "But that would be wonderful, I'd enjoy it, I think - designing something." Whilst she didn't have the artistic tendencies of her daughter, she enjoyed planning and project managing; even if at the moment she only managed a household.

She moved her hand to lean forward, her head next to his for the briefest of moments as she stretched to fetch her wine goblet, bringing it back to her lips with a mischievous smile.

"Have you not thought to add to the Palace? Stamp your own touch upon it?" She'd never really considered her husband the creative type, but then again he often surprised her. "Or, is it my job to do that on your behalf, my love?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"If they have any grievance to make, they can make it to me," Aulus said dryly. "I've never used it - not when it's harder to access from the main entrance, and it seems a waste to just let it sit there. Anyway. it would look a lot nicer with some pot plants and a bit of attention. And some fresh paint if you want to go that far - I am sure there are craftsmen who would fall over themselves to be given a commission for the Governor's palace."

He shook his head at her question. "It's quite big enough, I think, at least for the moment. How many unused rooms does one building need? I might add a new basilica for the forum, or something else for the city, but the Praetorium will do quite well enough without adding more to it." He poured himself a cup of wine and looked at her over the rim of the goblet. "What about you, though? It isn't unknown for women to commission some sort of building project to benefit the people of the town. Would you like to do something of that sort?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

"Then I'll draw up some ideas and run them past you." She said with a smile. She'd consult her daughter on it to. Calpurnia would relish the chance to add some artistic flair to a home she knew she considered draughty and impersonal. 

She met his eyes over the rim of her own goblet, flirtation in her gaze. Gods, they'd been married for almost fifteen years and she still sometimes felt like a teenager again around him. She sipped her wine to distract herself and considered the question. "Mhm, funny you should mention it - I was thinking of something like that but once we go on tour I was going to consider it properly. I don't think the town needs any more influence to look civilised," she smiled, her cheeks still a little flushed from the butterflies still in her stomach, "But I'd like to do something for the people in other areas of the provinces. It's what my mother did," She continued, "To the people when she went with my father to Hispania." She sipped her wine again and set it down. 

"I was thinking of some sort of space for young women, or mothers perhaps." She frowned to herself and flushed, "I haven't really thought it through - but something a little...different. And to put it in one of the smaller towns or corners of the province." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"Well, I hadn't honestly expected to find myself as a governor of anywhere," Aulus said with a laugh. "It's always easier for others to see what we might be, than for us to see it in ourselves, I think." He'd had the ambition for it, as a younger man, but rising to the position had been as much in the lap of the gods as in any skill Aulus might have - it had surely been down to Jupiter that he had chosen the right side in the civil war and been as close to Quintus Flavius Alexander as he had been, and it was thanks to that relationship that he was here.

"I wouldn't like Titus to burst, from happiness or anything else, but he's always been a level-headed sort of boy - well, from everything I've seen, anyway. And it will be perfectly safe, there's an entire river and chain of fortifications between us and the barbarians, and a whole legion besides." Titus was his son, too, he wouldn't let any harm come to him on a simple tour of the defences.

He smiled at his wife. "So... ow have you borne it, married to a man you don't care for one bit, with two lovely children and planning all sorts of things as the governor's wife?" he asked. "I would think that whatever you plan to bestow on the less fortunate people will be eagerly received, and I shall make certain that it is properly credited to Horatia Justina, too."

That hoary old senator she might have married would not have done so much, he was sure.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia smiled and nodded. His platitudes wouldn't make her worry less, as he well knew, but it was appreciated all the same. "Did your father take you on such tours when you were Titus' age?" 

Raetia really had been a blessing for the family. The odd dynamic of their family which still lingered in the corners of interactions and conversations, borne from Aulus' absence, were being swept aside. Titus was warming to him and leaps and bounds, as was their more subdued child Calpurnia. Horatia thought often to herself that things could have so easily turned out differently had they been stuck in Rome for years - the cloud of his absence hanging over them. It helped distance her from her own family too. Much as she loved them, her father in particular was a nuisance as much as a doting parent. She still  kept that secret letter from him, five years into her husband's tour of the Empire where he asked her to consider a divorce. She would never show her husband, of course, but that cloud still hung over her when her father was around; his disapproval that she was ageing without a husband to steer her or a large family to raise. She blinked the thoughts away, or tried to.

She laughed gently at his teasing question and quirked a brow. "Oh it's been a terrible trial. I often complain to my lady friends of just how awful my life has turned out." She was keenly aware that several of her 'friends' were jealous through and through of the life she had crafted for herself. "You don't have to do that," She shook her head as he mentioned a credit; "I'm your wife - you give me the agency to do these sorts of things when many husbands would not, you deserve a little credit somewhere too." In most likelihood it'd be some shortened version of: 

By the grace and magnanimity of our Governor Aulus Calpurnius Praetextatus in the 827th year since the founding of the city of Rome, his dutiful wife Horatia Justina has bestowed on the Raetian people a communal space for the unlearned and weakest class of women to better and honour themselves and the Empire.

Such a credit would suit her fine. After all, she wouldn't be able to afford such plans and works were it not for her husband. "Is there anybody I should speak to about it? In terms of planning? I don't wish to bore the the very busy and important Governor with trivialities if there's some minor official I should be speaking with instead." She teased, although only half-joking.

 

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"I might not have to," Aulus said, knowing full well that of course he did not have to, if he chose not to. "I would like to, however - I would like everyone to know what a fine woman and benefactress you are, my dove. Columbina mea."

He smiled. "You were thinking of bestowing your favour on one of the smaller towns. If I were you, I should write to the magistrates of whichever town you choose - they will all end up falling over their toga hems with excitement - you have such an excellent eye for detail that I won't interfere with anything you choose to do, or request to look over the accounts or any such thing, unless you ask me to. Doubtless there will be some unscrupulous men among those you will have to deal with who will think they can pull the wool over your eyes just because you're a woman. Equally doubtless, you will take great pleasure in disabusing them of that notion - I should very much hate to get on your wrong side, my sweet."

She truly was a Livia to him as the original had been to the Divine Augustus. Aulus did not think that he would be half as successful in his career without Horatia Justina - and more fool the men who had wives with similar wisdom, who did not listen to their wives, or ask their advice.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia arched a well-shaped brow, and eyed him; "I'm appalled you think I have a wrong side. Am I not always perfectly pleasant and polite?" She chuckled and shook her head, obviously teasing. Her personality was generally very reserved in the sense that she rarely overstepped any boundaries imposed on her gender and class. That wasn't to say she as antisocial - more that she was acutely aware of what she should and should not do.

However, Aulus was right (he always was!) that she took no pleasure in men that thought her stupid whether because of her quiet nature or just her gender. She liked to use her words and her wits to coax them round to agreeing with her plans and schemes, often without ever thinking she'd had any role in their change of heart. Which is exactly how she liked it. She did, very, very rarely find herself frustrated that she couldn't exercise her intelligence in other pursuits, such as those her husband enjoyed, but tried to bury such thoughts. She had plenty, and more importantly, she had a husband who let her think and let her plan which was more than many women. 

She glanced again at the stack of work on his desk and offered a soft smile; "I should leave you - especially if we are to go into town tomorrow, you have things to do." She uncurled herself from her seat and moved to stand behind him, draping her arms around his shoulders from behind and leaving a soft kiss on his jaw. "But you better be done before dinner or you'll face my wrong side indeed, Aulus Calpurnius Praetextatus." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"You are the epitome of a Roman wife, kind and virtuous. I hope the slaves realise how fortunate they are that their mistress is so forbearing," Aulus said, his eyes sparkling. "Don't let them take advantage of your patience, will you, my sweet?" He didn't think that she would let them take advantage of her, but slaves were slaves.

On the other hand, she had never come to him requesting his intervention as the master of the house (and she must know that he would back her to the hilt in her decisions regarding how she ran the household. He trusted her, completely, and had never received even the smallest hint that he could not or that her decisions were in any way flawed.

"Anything that is not done by dinner will keep until tomorrow," he told her as she slipped her arms around him from behind, echoing his own earlier position. "I should be quaking in my shoes to face the wrath of the inimitable Horatia Justina, if it could not."

 

@Sara