O Ye, of Little Faith

[Echo]

August, 75CE

Apparently, Livia had been in a good mood this morning, for whatever reason. That was the only conclusion Aglaea could come to that could explain her day off. Perhaps Livia had received a letter from her lover, or Secundus had been away and not bothered her. But whatever the cause, the point was that Aglaea was free for the day and was taking full advantage of that freedom. Of course, her first stop had been to synagogue and to talk with some other converts, covertly, of course. Next, she had visited the honey cake stand which she had shown Bassus a few months ago, purchasing a few. She would eat one now and keep one for Livia, and had bought a few extra just in case. 

Moving away from the stand, Aglaea took a leisurely walk through the Emporium Magnum, taking in the sights and smells of the marketplace. She decided she wouldn't purchase anything else, choosing instead to save her small sum of money for future needs. Maybe even freedom. As she walked, she noticed in passing a man walking in front of her. Just as she was about to look away at something else, she noticed the coin purse at his belt fall on the ground. Apparently he hadn't noticed it. 

"Excuse me!" As she passed the dropped coin purse, she scooped it up and broke into a trot, following the man. Once she caught up to him, the Jewish woman tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir. You dropped your coin purse."

@Atrice

[Atrice]

While Caecina was staying in at the domus, Manius was often free to roam Rome - as long as he returned in case she needed to go anywhere, so he could come and guard her. She didn't seem entirely thrilled so far, with him as her bodyguard, but maybe that's because he wasn't as easy as her old bodyguard had been. Manius took his job very seriously. He could not fail her. If he failed her, that meant harm to her, and he could not afford that. He could not afford to lose his job and the coin and he could not afford feeling like a failure again. It just wasn't happening. He would succeed this time or perish. Thoughts like those went through his mind, as he reached the great marketplace and he walked through it, trying to not think of the many times he and his wife had shared a honey cake from here. 

In fact maybe he should just get away from here and return home to the domus. He pushed through a crowd of people and escaped on the other side. Not many steps later however, someone tapped him on the shoulder and Manius whirled around, his reflexes worked just fine! But it was a nice looking woman and slave and she said he had dropped his coin purse. Had she stolen it? She didn't look like someone who would steal though. There was something... soft about her presence.

"Gratitude for giving it back to me." He replied to her, taking his purse back and weighing it in his hand - it did feel as if all coins were still there. Now he felt he had not done her justice, even if he had only been thinking she might be a thief... "How can I thank you?" 

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea jumped back a little as he rounded on her, almost as though he was going to hurt her. Though, she reasoned, it wasn't unfair of him to think she was a pickpocket, seeing as she had his coin purse in her hands in a crowded street in the emporium. But a pickpocket wouldn't willingly give back their plunder, and she handed it back to him, watching as he weighed it. He thanked her and she gave a small smile. "Of course. You should tie it on more carefully, though - a real pickpocket could have taken it with ease." She had experience with pickpockets, having run into the uncomfortable situation of losing money meant to buy something for her mistress. 

The man went on to ask how he could thank her and she waved her hand. "Nonsense, you don't have to thank me. Any decent person would have done the same." Though, in her experience, decent people were often few and far between in Rome. She shifted her tote bag filled with honeycakes to the other hand. "But... I hope you don't mind me saying, you seem a little perturbed. Are you new to Rome? I found the markets overwhelming when I first came here." She looked around, spotting a quieter section nearby with a fountain. "If you need a little rest, I have some extra cakes. You're welcome to share them with me."

@Atrice

[Atrice]

She was of course startled by his reaction, when he had whirled around, that only made sense. But he had been surprised and you never knew in Rome, who was touching you and why. She seemed kind enough, friendly, giving him his purse back and he judged he'd not lost anything, so he thanked her. She advised him to tie it on the belt more carefully and he nodded, "I will make sure to do that now, thanks." He replied to her and then he had wondered how to thank her for her kindness. She waved her hand, saying any decent person would have done the same.

"There aren't a whole lot of very decent people in Rome." He mentioned, especially not when it came to these matters. It was incredible that she'd just picked it up and returned it to him, instead of just taking the money and disappearing into the crowd before he would even notice he'd lost his purse. She went on, saying he seemed perturbed and she wondered if he was new in Rome. She suggested a rest and she had cakes to share. Manius was surprised by her offer, she just helped him once and now she would offer him to rest with her and share her delicacies. 

"I am not new in Rome, no... I grew up here." Although he knew why she thought he seemed anxious, but he didn't know her well enough to share that just yet, "Are you sure you wish to share with me? You don't even know me and... I wouldn't want to take anything from you. You have already aided me once." 

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea nodded as he thanked her for reminding him to tie his coin purse on a little tighter. She just didn't want him to go through the anxiety of losing money on the streets of Rome - for people like them, money was hard-won and precious, and losing even one coin purse could be devastating. Of course, she didn't know his monetary situation. Manius said that there weren't a lot of decent people in Rome and she shrugged. "Well, someone has to be a leader," she replied, grinning a little. She, of course, would never even think of taking someone else's money, both because of a personal moral code, and because of the tenets of her religion. 

Manius then explained that he grew up in Rome and she flushed a little, embarrassed at her own silliness in assuming he was new. Anyone could get flustered at the markets - she certainly did from time to time. "Ah, I see. As you can tell, I am not from Rome." She gestured at her darker skin tone. Then she offered to share a cake with him and he asked if she was sure. "Of course. I bought too many and I certainly don't need to eat them all myself," she said with a laugh. "Come on. Take a break from the crowds for a moment." Without waiting to see whether he was following, she led the way to the fountain she had noticed a moment before, sitting on the marble edge.

@Atrice

[Atrice]

When the friendly woman told him that any decent person would have done the same - delivered his purse back to him, still with all the coins - he said that there were not many decent people in Rome. But she just grinned and said someone had to be a leader there. Manius arched a brow, she was in such a good mood, wasn't she? Almost like Didia, but then not quite. Didia was harder to read for him, he still hardly knew when she was serious or when she was joking. This woman however, she was easier to understand, he thought. Not that he'd known her for more than a few moments, so he didn't know her that well. She didn't quite know him either, when she thought he was new to Rome - and he was born and raised here and had lived here almost his entire life. Save for the few months he and Salacia spent in Pompeii, but that could hardly count for anything. 

She blushed when he shared that bit of information and said she was not from Rome. Manius gave her a small smile, "You're far from alone there, at least." He said - there were many foreigners in Rome, many were slaves, but not all of them. And not all of them offered him cakes after already helping him once. She laughed, saying she did not need to eat them all herself and said he should come with her. Without waiting for an answer, she headed towards a fountain and Manius thought he better follow. Since she did not wish for any repayment, at least he could have one of her cakes, because that was something she did want.

She sat on the marble edge and Manius glanced around for a moment, before he sat down next to her, "I suppose a break is good sometimes." He said, stretching his legs in front of him and looked at her again, "I'm Manius, by the way."

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea smiled at his apparent confusion at her good mood. Why shouldn't she be in a good mood? She was outside of the domus, out from under Secundus's shadow, and it was a beautiful day. And she might even have the chance to make a new friend with this man. She had admitted to him that she was not originally from Rome and he said that she was not alone there. "That is for certain. Rome has many different kinds of people under its protection." Even people who did not necessarily want her protection, it would seem. But Aglaea liked meeting new people, and it seemed Rome was the place to meet all sorts of people. 

As she made her way to the fountain and sat, she was pleased to see that he had followed. Taking out a cake for both of them, she handed him one first and then settled in to eat hers. "I always appreciate a break. It's nice to meet you, Manius. I am Aglaea." She took a bite from the cake and glanced at him. "So, what do you do for a living, Manius?"

@Atrice

[Atrice]

It was surprising to meet such a kind woman in Rome, handing him back his purse with everything in it. And then she was not even from Rome, it seemed. Manius of course would have done the same - delivered the purse back to the right person. But he knew not everyone would do it. This woman here did though, so the least he could do for her was do what she wanted... and she wanted to share a cake with him. He followed her to the fountain and she sat down there. He had decided it would be good with a break and then she handed him a cake and said she appreciated breaks and introduced herself after he did the same.

"It's good to meet you too, Aglaea." He said. He knew a bit about the different myths and recognized her name as Greek and that of one of the three graces. In Rome, the same goddess was known as Charis. She certainly fit the name, he thought to himself and wondered if it was indeed her own or if her master or mistress gave it to her. Meanwhile she tasted her cake and wondered what he did for a living.

"Currently I serve as a bodyguard to a young, noble lady." He explained, "She chose to stay at home this morning however, so I have some free time." Which explained why he was out and about for now, "What about you?"

@Echo

[Echo]

Names had lost much significance for Aglaea, since her original name had been replaced long ago by her first mistress. She still held onto her original name, Zivah, but only in memory; she didn't even dare to use it in the safety of her synagogue, as she felt it would have confused her to answering to Aglaea. So, Aglaea she would remain, and she didn't mind the name anyway. 

Manius said that it was nice to meet her as well and Aglaea smiled. He then explained that he served a young mistress as a bodyguard, asking her what she did for a living. "I am a body servant to a noble lady. I was also allowed some free time today - she is a good, kind mistress and I am blessed." She gazed at the crowd moving past the fountain. "But, as I said, I'm not originally from Rome. I am native to Judaea."

@Atrice

[Atrice]

It was actually nice, sitting here, just talking and sharing a few cakes with someone, even if he was only just getting to know her. She was pretty though, and kind - and people with both of those qualities were hard to find in Rome. Again he was reminded of his wife, as he so often was now that she was gone... this was the kind of thing he could be doing with her too, but she wasn't here anymore. It was good to relax with Aglaea though. She smiled at him and he explained what he did for a living, naturally asking her the same question. She also served a noble lady. Funny, how they both did that but in such different ways. Aglaea said her mistress was kind and good and she felt blessed. He nodded, she was lucky, he could understand that. Then she mentioned where she was from.

Manius sensed she wanted to talk about that, since she brought it up... "Do you miss your homeland then? Or have you been in Rome for long?" He doubted she chose to be a slave, few did. Only Manius would do that, because he knew how slaves were treated and he had believed that's the kind of treatment he deserved. To be inferior and submissive. Now he was free again though, but poor Aglaea was not. 

@Echo

[Echo]

Manius seemed like a kind soul, though Aglaea sensed that there was a great sadness about him. The slave had become very attuned to other people's emotions over the years, both because of having to learn to guess Livia's moods, as well as recently doing the same for Secundus. It was a matter of survival in the Varus household, anticipating mercurial emotions. 

Aglaea hadn't meant to talk about herself so much, but Manius asked about her homeland and whether she missed it. "Oh, Rome has been my home for many years now. I barely remember living in Judaea, if I'm honest. I've been with my current mistress for fourteen years now." She chewed on a bit of cake. "How long have you been with your mistress?"

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Aglaea was very enjoyable. It was incredible that such people existed in Rome, he thought, as he took another bite from the soft and sweet cake she'd given him. After helping him. He wondered if he could help her in any way - although this was what she had wanted, it just didn't feel like enough to him. She seemed happy to talk though, speaking of where her homelands were and Manius wondered if she missed that life. He knew no one else who'd willingly become a slave, like he had. And while he met those that actually enjoyed their lives as slaves, not everyone did. Aglaea said Rome had been her home for many years and she barely remembered Judaea. She'd been with her mistress fourteen years! She must have been young back then, he thought. She could barely be called old now, after all. Then she would know for how long he'd been with his current mistress.  e

"Not long, barely a few weeks so far. I... lost my old job after the earthquake. But now I got this." He explained, looking at her, "Fourteen years with the same mistress... that is quite a long time. Are you... happy there?" Manius then wondered. They must get along well, since she had been there so long. On the other hand, why was she not free? It really wasn't fair that such a kind and sweet woman was a slave.

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea hadn't really thought her actions through, inviting Manius to sit with her,  but she supposed there was no harm in it. She didn't even consider that it was unusual for someone to do such a thing; she knew she just had plenty of cakes and wanted to share with a new friend. And perhaps it would do him some good; he had such a morose way about him, and Aglaea hated to see other people unhappy (even if she often was herself, at least, while she was near Secundus.) Manius might not think she looked old, but she was certainly no spring chicken. She wasn't as bad off as some though, and had a few more years before her hard labor started to catch up with her. 

Manius explained that he'd only been with his current mistress a few weeks and that he'd lost his old job after the earthquake. Then, he asked her about whether she was happy at her current posting. How many different answers there were to that question! Was she happy to serve Livia and be her support system? Yes, she had a servant's heart. Was she happy living in that particular domus? No. And was she happy to be stuck attempting to bear Secundus's child, while also staving off that possibility with silphium for her own relationship with Livia to remain intact? Certainly not. It was the hardest part of her life at the moment. But Manius didn't need her life story. 

"Certainly," she said with a smile, focusing on the positives of her life. "I am blessed by God in many ways, both to have a home and a loving mistress who takes good care of me."

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Such a good woman certainly deserved freedom more than anyone else, he thought. She seemed so calm and gentle, as if she wasn’t supposed to be in this harsh world. Much like his wife, who seemed to be gone for good. He had looked for her and asked for her, but no one knew where she was. And now he’d moved out of the house and into Caecina’s instead. He hoped Salacia wouldn’t suddenly turn up looking for him and not finding him. Well their neighbors knew where he was, at least. But the more time went on, the less likely it was that she’d show up again. He didn’t want to think about it this way, but he did imagine she was dead.

He hoped Aglaea wouldn’t meet such a fate. She seemed content with her life and with her mistress, whom she had been with for very long and he wondered if she was happy there. Aglaea didn’t respond right away, but then said she was happy and blessed by God.

“Those are good things to have, of course.” Manius replied to her, “The gods must favor you indeed.” He thought he’d just misheard it when she mentioned God. He knew there was a cult, of course, believing in just one god, but he did not take her for being one of them.

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea had conflicted feelings about freedom. She was so entangled in the life of her mistress, as well as invested in it, that she doubted she would ever truly be free of the lifestyle she led now. Even if she was freed, Livia would probably ask her to stay on as a paid servant, rather than let her set out on the world alone. Moreover, the thought of leaving her mistress at a later stage in life was cowing; she had a lot of skills, to be sure, but she was not excellent enough at any of them to turn it into a career. It was often the fate of freed slaves that they fell flat and ended up in bad situations. Aglaea didn't want that to happen. 

On the other hand, if she were freed, she thought she might be able to find work, supposing that Livia didn't want her as a servant anymore. She was an accomplished student and could find work with her education, or her sewing skills. She might be poor, but she had been poor before. She could handle it. But then the thought of leaving Livia to Secundus was impossible. If she were freed, it would have to be after that chapter in her mistress's life had been closed. 

Manius replied to her, saying that the gods must favor her. Of course, he was Roman - he would be a member of the Roman religious cult. She smiled softly. "Actually, I am from Israel. My people only worship one God." Aglaea herself, however, recognized the Messiah and had joined the cult of Christianity. "We believe he is the one true God. But you must worship the Roman gods, then?"

@Atrice

[Atrice]

She was lucky, to have a household where she was happy and content. He sensed she was holding something back though, there was something she was not telling him, but of course, why tell everything to someone who was still basically a stranger? Manius knew he probably wouldn’t that, unless he was asked, of course. He’d spilled it all to Didia, but how could you not tell her a lot of things? She was so friendly and openminded and even endearing.

So was Aglaea though, although her words confused him, when she spoke of god rather than gods, so he tried to correct her or rather, he thought he just misheard what she said. But she smiled and said that she was from Israel where her people did indeed worship just one god. How did that work? One god had all the tasks and elements, that the entire Roman pantheon did? In Rome, there was more or less a god or nymph or titan or something, for everything. How could one god administrate all that? She went on about her one true God and asked what he worshipped.

“I do… it’s how I was brought up.” Manius replied, “Not that they hold me in great favor.” He added with a small sigh and then looked at her again. He never really met someone like her before, so it interested him and he wanted to understand. She had been so kind to him, after all and she certainly seemed like no heathen to him, “How does it work, just having one God? Is he then like… the God of everything?”

@Echo

[Echo]

There was certainly a stigma about people from Israel, Aglaea had found. Many Romans thought them shifty, untrustworthy, and it was a stereotype that Aglaea hoped to dismantle, through her own interactions with people. The other concerns about her people that Romans had were, of course, about their religion. She had never heard of another religion that followed only one God, like Judaism. Every other culture had a plethora of gods for every situation, from rain to food to fertility. But she felt a flash of pride - her God was powerful and had created the heavens and the earth, all alone. How could she not worship such a powerful deity? 

Manius said that his gods did not hold him in great favor and she gave him a sympathetic look. It was the downfall to religion - when luck was high, it was easy to worship. But when times were tough, it was difficult to see the sun for all the rain. She had no words of comfort for him, though, since he did not follow her religion. Then he seemed curious about her religion, asking if He was the God of everything. "Yes, that's right. He created the heavens and the earth, forming everything from the great expanse of nothing. He created us as well, everything in the world has His hand in it." She studied him. "It's all a bit complicated," she said finally, chuckling. 

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Manius did still worship the gods he grew up with, he hoped that maybe one day, they would find mercy for him rather than constantly remind him of his insignificance to the world they created and played games with. One day, he would hopefully learn to never take anything for granted. On the other hand, he was never bored, was he? Manius liked to work. He liked to not think. And work he had to do, to get on their good side. At least he thought so.

But this other god, he knew little about that one. Aglaea didn’t seem devious to him, she seemed genuine and kind and he had nothing against her. If people of her faith was like her, he could easily accept it. Still though, it was hard to wrap his mind around the idea of just one single god running everything. How did that work? So he decided to ask and Aglaea explained that she did indeed believe that her god created both the Heavens and Earth and even the people in it. She said it was complicated.

“It sounds very complicated… and yet, also simple.” He hoped she was not offended by such a word. It was much more simple than the huge Roman pantheon of gods, to just have one god who created everything. Was it better though? The thought he had before about her kindness returned to him, “It must be a good god to have though… if someone as kind and gentle as you are following him.”

@Echo

[Echo]

Despite his fears to the contrary, Aglaea brightened when he described her religion as complicated and yet simple. It wasn't everyday that she found someone interested in her religion, and moreover, most people brushed off her religion as soon as they heard there was only one God. "Yes - that's exactly right. He is responsible for the creation of our world and influences those who live their lives the way He intended them to." She paused to think about her words. "That's why I say that I'm blessed - God chose to place me with a kind mistress, when he could've put me in a much worse situation. I was raised out of poverty by His hand."

Manius complimented her, calling her kind and gentle, and saying that He must be a good God. "He is wonderful. But He is a jealous God as well - we are not to worship false idols, and we must try to live our lives without sin. Though of course that is impossible, it is our duty to try." She realized she'd been rambling. "Sorry - that might have been a lot to process."

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Aglaea was indeed very mild, it seemed. Yes, that was one more word to describe her with. Mild and soft and friendly. To good for Rome, really. And now they were talking about her religion. He didn't judge her much, why should he? He knew that others might, but Manius' experience with the gods was not always perfect. In fact, they didn't seem to like him. So he was interested in learning what her god was like, because his gods had never been kind to him. Maybe Venus had, but not the rest. And not even Venus could keep her promises, because he kept being such a failure to the gods. If he had something good in his life, it was torn away. Aglaeas god and religion sounded simple, but not in a bad way. And luckily she did not seem offended, but explained further about how her god was responsible for the world and would influence those who lived life the right way. And she thought herself blessed because she had ended up in a good place.

She went on about how her god was both wonderful and jealous, because you could not worship others. Then she spoke of how you must try to live without sin and he looked at her with a curious gaze. Manius wasn't much of a talker, unlike her, but he was a thinker and he was curious to learn more about all this... especially when she spoke words he didn't really know... "How do you live your life without... sin? I don't think I know the word?" He kind of guessed that it had something to do with living your life the way her god intended, since she mentioned that before. But what did he intend for life to be like? Manius knew nothing about it. Honestly though, he couldn't say it sounded like a bad god to have.

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea was thankful that Manius was at least hearing her out instead of instantly writing her off as some crazy desert-dweller who hadn't converted to the true religion. It was refreshing. But there was something troubling about the young man - not threatening, like Secundus was, it was different. He had a sadness about him that clung even when he smiled and she hoped against hope that something she told him today would help him have a happier life. 

"Oh, of course, I should have started with that." She laughed briefly. "Sin is an immoral act that goes against what God has taught us." Then, she quickly explained the story of Genesis - how God had created Adam and Eve and how they had disobeyed God, the first sin. "Obviously, no one today can sin as badly as that, but there are things that we do everyday without thinking about them. Like envying your neighbor, or stealing something, or being wrathful. God forgives those who ask for forgiveness, though, and at the end of their life, that person will spend eternity with Him." Of course, her beliefs had evolved recently, and she now saw that the only way into Heaven was through Christ -- but it was a fringe cult and she couldn't expect him to take kindly to her admitting she was a Christian. 

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Manius was hearing words he didn't hear before, today. And learning about a god he had only heard about in passing, but apparently this god meant a great deal to kind Aglaea and that made Manius interested... or at least curious to learn more, to understand more. He wasn't some high and mighty Senator either, he was just a bodyguard. He wasn't here to judge her, just to talk, even though it was actually not planned. He asked more into her words, wanting to know what sin was, because he didn't know it. Aglaea laughed and explained it. That sin was an immoral act that went against their teachings from their god and she explained about the first sin and the first people, even. Manius knew vaguely what the creation story of the Romans were - a god had created the first man from a lump of dirt, some said. It didn't sound all that different. But the sin, he didn't know that. Aglaea explained what it might be, like stealing or being envious. But her god would forgive anyone who asked for it.

He arched a brow, surprised, "He will forgive anyone who asks for forgiveness? No matter what they did?" Manius asked and looked at his hands for a moment, "What if they did something very bad... killed someone or caused someone else's death? Would he forgive even that?" It seemed strange to him, that such ill deeds should be forgiven. Manius couldn't forgive himself for the pain he'd caused others... why should any god, then?

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea was not a proselytizer, usually - not in words, anyway. She preferred to live her life as closely to the commandments as possible and let her actions speak for her. But she sensed that this man was searching for something - perhaps he was searching for a faith that could transcend anything. And Aglaea believed her faith could withstand anything. Perhaps she could teach him. 

His words struck her. Murder was very clearly stated to be a sin, so her mind tussled with the problem for a few moments. Since she was a Christian, her main belief was that anyone who accepted Christ as their savior and who asked for the forgiveness of their sin could reach Heaven. But should she risk telling him that? He seemed so lost, as though the world had hurt him so much that he'd withdrawn within himself. Finally, she mustered up her courage. "Yes. I believe that anything can be forgiven. Even murder. But I haven't told you the whole truth about my faith..." She gazed at him, waiting to see his reaction. 

@Atrice 

[Atrice]

This was turning into something different than what he imagined, when Aglaea first looked at him and gave him back his purse. Eating cakes by a calming fountain and talking... about her god, mostly. Manius didn't know him well, but it was strange and interesting at the same time. Think to have a god who would punish you, if you did anything against what he taught people. But on the other hand, the same god would forgive you, if you just asked for it. So the same god might punish and he might be good and forgive. Was he some kind of trickster god, like Prometheus? He wondered though just how much her god would forgive, because Manius had done bad things. Not that he was ever a murderer on purpose, but if it wasn't for him, his first wife and his son would still be alive. And Salacia would still be here. But none of them were.

She seemed thoughtful after his question, but then she said anything could be forgiven, even murder. And then said she had not told him the whole truth and looked at him, as if wondering what he'd think about that.

"Oh? And... what is the whole truth then?"

@Echo

[Echo]

Aglaea hoped that God forgave whatever you asked of him, at least. She had done things throughout her life that would certainly be qualified as sins, most egregiously bedding her mistress's husband. She wasn't sure whether God took into account one's motivations to sin, so she just thought her sins would be considered that. But Manius wanted to know what the whole truth was. 

Glancing quickly about them to see that there was no one close enough to hear, she leaned in closer. "Well, I've been telling you about the beliefs of the Israelites. But there is more to the story. God saw the sins of the world and knew that humans needed a chance for redemption. He sent his only son down to earth and his son, Jesus, died for our sins to be forgiven." She paused, gauging his reaction. "And there is now a sect of my religion called Christianity... we follow the teachings of God's son. And we know that the only way to be forgiven is to accept Christ and ask for forgiveness." There. Now she'd done it. If he had heard of the bad reputation of Christians, would he turn her in? She tensed up ever so slightly. 

@Atrice