What Could Have Been?

[Sara]

"I thought Gaius was too good for me, because I didn't think it was fair to marry a good man when I liked his brother." There. Out with it. She gave him a look and shook her head, slumping down further into his chair, every inch the petulant teenager she no longer was. 

"You would have worked as a second husband maybe," She joked darkly - the smirk still on her face, "I marry very well at first but divorce the man after a few years and settle for you. I don't think my father would have put up that much of a fight. By then you would have surely earned glory in the legions or the courts." She chuckled and pushed the cup in front of her away with the tips of her fingers. 

"It hasn't bothered me for years," She shook her head. "I have everything I wanted." And I'm still not happy. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"I thought Gaius was too good for me, because I didn't think it was fair to marry a good man when I liked his brother." 

Lucius closed his eyes. There had been a time where he would have given a lot to hear her say that. He'd known, they had both known, but it had never been made real in words. He looked at her, sulking in his chair. What were they even doing, right now, in his office, fifteen years later?

"You would have worked as a second husband maybe. I marry very well at first but divorce the man after a few years and settle for you. I don't think my father would have put up that much of a fight. By then you would have surely earned glory in the legions or the courts." 

Except, he hadn't. No wealthy patrician widow would ever be allowed to marry a tribune of the vigiles. He smiled a sad smile anyway.

"It hasn't bothered me for years. I have everything I wanted."

"I wanted to ask you not to marry Gaius." he admitted with a shrug. Why talk about it now?... Why not? As long as they were sharing. "I couldn't have done that to him. I thought I could seduce anyone else's wife, but not his."

[Sara]

Ovinia choked out a laugh and glanced at him. "Why did you not tell me then? Why did you not ask?" She knew why - he was already starting on a path that he didn't wish to get off of, as was she. She had been late to marry by her friends standards and time had been running out. It's likely why she ended up with Spurius - already once divorced and with children. Most of the first-time husbands had been taken by her peers. 

She kept her gaze on him, a frown creasing her brow. "And when I chose not to marry him?" She laughed again, "You decided against seduction?" She shook her head and slumped further down until her head was on his backrest. "Not that I would have said yes to you." She swallowed, he must have known that - maybe that was why he never tried, "You know me, a stickler for the rules."

She pushed her empty cup towards him. "Another cup, whilst we talk of ancient history?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Why did you not tell me then? Why did you not ask?"

"Because asking you to leave him would have been basically the same thing." he sighed. Maybe Gaius would have never found out, but Lucius was not that much of a rebel when it came to hurting his brother. Even in theory.

"And when I chose not to marry him? You decided against seduction?... Not that I would have said yes to you. You know me, a stickler for the rules."

"I know" he smiled a little. "And by then, I was with the vigiles, and you were angry at me anyway." They broke contact soon after, without ever really talking about it. Their worlds had split apart in two.

"Another cup, whilst we talk of ancient history?" 

Lucius walked to the table to get the jug and refilled the cups.

"You really never took a lover?"

[Sara]

"I hold grudges." She admitted with a swallow and a sigh. 

But as he turned to refill the cups, she felt herself relax a little. She had wanted to ask him why for years, until the memories had faded and become less raw. Now she had, she felt like a weight was easing, slowly but surely. It was sad but necessary. And surprisingly easy to talk about.

Or it was until his question. She choked and suddenly she felt like she was nineteen again, standing with a man who made innuendos enough to flush her cheeks. "What?" She managed to stutter, confusion writ large on her face. Was he asking her to tease her, or was he being serious? She'd lost her ability to tell over the years. "I got married." She said with a confused shake of her head, "Do I seem like the sort to cuckold my husband and take a lover?" She was sure some women did but that was not her, and she had been faithful - even as Spurius drifted from her bed and her life over the years into the arms of the women at the Venus or his slaves. 

"What a stupid question." She scoffed and shook her head, "Though I guess for a man that likely has a different woman every night, it's only natural." She mumbled, hating how crass he made her. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

She almost choked at his question, and managed to look indignant.

"I got married. Do I seem like the sort to cuckold my husband and take a lover?"

No. But you seem like the sort to fall in love.

Of course, he didn't say that. She had her pride in her standing as a good Roman matron.

"What a stupid question. Though I guess for a man that likely has a different woman every night, it's only natural." 

Luvius laughed at her and leaned back against the desk again.

"Is that how you picture me?" He grinned "Your imagination is not very fitting for a decent woman..." he shook his head, finished with the teasing. "It's not every night. I have had a few lovers over the years, sure. But I'm not going around fucking half of Rome, thank you. Unlike some patricians I know of." He shrugged. "Shame, though. On both our parts. Unless your husband is secretly a very passionate man, anyway. "

[Sara]

She chose not to comment at his first sentence, instead looking indignantly at her now full cup of wine. She took a sip of said wine at an unfortunate moment though as he said a word she'd only heard men use when they thought good Roman women weren't in attendance. She spluttered and had to gulp down her wine before it came out of her mouth. It left her breathless and glaring at him. 

"I'm not speaking with you about this." She said with a glare and flushed cheeks. A flush she'd blame on nearly drowning on her wine, not the topic of conversation. 

The notion that Spurius was passionate was laughable, at least nowadays. He'd liked Ovinia at the start of their marriage, because - as her mother had reminded her - what man didn't want a beautiful young woman in his bed? But Ovinia, for her part, had never much got the hype around sex. After all the mystery and all of the innuendos it seemed like a monumental let down. She was, in part, relieved when he'd stopped coming to her as frequently and taken lovers elsewhere. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Alright, alright" Lucius held up his hands, one of them still holding the cup. The poor woman was not used to crass language. He had forgotten that a while before. Due to different social circles.

Also, her husband was definitely a dud in bed. Ouch.

"So... now what?" He sighed, after a longer pause. "See you in another fifteen years?"

[Sara]

Ovinia glanced up, relieved that he'd changed the subject although wishing he hadn't changed it to that. She arched a brow and then glanced down at his desk - leafing through the papers that littered it without a care in the world. "Why? Trying to get rid of me?" 

She glanced back up at him again and then back to the papers, pulling one forward to squint at it, "Is the...gods your handwriting is dreadful...'training schedule on insula fires above three stories' more interesting than me?" She placed the paper down again with a little 'hmph' noise of annoyance. 

She really should go. She'd come and thanked him and said her peace. There really wasn't any more for her to do. "I won't see you again if I walk out of that door," She said as her eyes remained focused on his desk, "Give me another minute to remember why you annoy me so much and then I'll leave." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Why? Trying to get rid of me?" 

Gods, no.

"Is the...gods your handwriting is dreadful...'training schedule on insula fires above three stories' more interesting than me?" 

"The documentation? No. The training...?" he grinned at her. The training probably wasn't either, but she couldn't win everything...

Ovinia did not move from his chair. They were both at a loss of what they were supposed to do. Having been mostly thinking about what they were definitely not supposed to do.

"I won't see you again if I walk out of that door,"

Lucius' heart sank. She was right, but he did not want to hear it out loud. He folded his arms, setting his cup aside.

"Give me another minute to remember why you annoy me so much and then I'll leave." 

"I annoy you so much because I don't want you to leave."

[Sara]

Ovinia watched him as he folded his arms, as if debating something. She wondered if it was the same debate raging in her own mind. Her eyes skirted over his shoulders and then his arms and then settled on the desk. She didn't want to look at him. 

His comment made her smile though, despite the fact that it most definitely shouldn't. She fluttered here eyes shut and made a hum of a noise. "Is that why you used to annoy me so much, when we were younger?" She cracked an eye and peered up at him. "I was in bed for two days after Neptunalia with a cold, you know." And it had been worth it, even then. 

She closed her eyes again and let out a deep, bone-aching sigh. She shook her head once and then opened her eyes. "I have to go." And she knew she did. She had been foolish to come here but was glad she did. She needed, what she realised now, was closure. Even if it didn't really feel like closure at the moment and felt more like an open wound, she was sure it would in time. "Maybe I'll see you again Lucius." She said as she pushed herself up, swallowing hard and trying to affect an air of indifference, or happiness which she didn't feel. "If you find Tadia again, you at least know where to return her..." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Is that why you used to annoy me so much, when we were younger? I was in bed for two days after Neptunalia with a cold, you know."

"Now there's a day to remember" Lucius smiled softly. That was not exactly the way he had wanted to get her into bed, he noted. But he had been crass enough for one day.

"I have to go. Maybe I'll see you again Lucius. If you find Tadia again, you at least know where to return her..." 

She was leaving. As she stood Lucius stood too, and for a moment they were very close together. He looked down at her. She had made up her mind. Another moment was passing between them just like the other important ones before. Lucius sighed, moving out of her way.

"See you again, Ovinia. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I mean it."

Anything at all.

[Sara]

She met his eyes for a moment. If she could read his mind, she would have concurred that this felt like another important moment about to be set adrift on the wind. And then it was over and he moved. She stepped round him and nodded with a sad, resigned smile. "I know." And that was that. She was out of the room without another glance, just an imperious flick of her palla back up over her hair. She shuddered as the door swung shut behind her and let out a little, strangled noise. Why didn't this feel like closure? 

---

September

Time passed slowly in the intervening months. Her life marched on as it always had done; slaves to berate, Tadia to entertain, clients of her husband and his friends to greet and smile. Life was normal - the same normal it had been for close to fifteen years. But she didn't feel particularly normal. Lucius had gotten under her skin just as he had done when she was a young woman. It was infuriating. Spurius could sense something was on her mind, and the slaves could but mercifully none of them asked beyond a cursory; "Is everything alright?" to which she mutely nodded and carried on with her routine. 

She was grateful for the invitation to the villa. The summer was drawing to a close but the heat in the city was still unbearable. Spurius hadn't been able to take to the villa with his work and despite offering the chance to go and stay with his mother at their estates, Ovinia had politely declined. She'd rather pull out her eyelashes one by one than spend time with the witch solo. 

After assuring it wasn't just going to be herself and Vipsania - even given how ancient their family's history seemed now, Ovinia was still in no mood to feel awkward - and upon discovering there were four or five other influential women in attendance, Ovinia had agreed. It would undoubtedly be another long week of chatter and small talk and such but the harvest was being brought in and it was an excuse to get out of the city. She'd take that. Even if it was going to be as mind-numbing as most other retreats she'd been on with these women, at least there was a change of scenery involved. 

The journey took its sweet time but Ovinia relished it. Tadia was left with her father and step-brothers and besides a small coterie of slaves at her attendance, she took in the peace and quiet on the journey to the estates. Vipsania was a generous host, she realised, as she was shown to her rooms upon arrival. She was the first - apparently - of the invited guests (Ovinia had always hated to be late) but at least that gave her time to get ready for dinner. She glanced around the rooms and corridors and gardens, trying to not think about either Vipsanii brother spending their summers here. Fate had a different plan though, given a knock on her door. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

While Gaius had been a difficult sibling to reconcile with, Vipsania had always been on Lucius' side. She never married for love and did not expect anyone else to, but she doted on her little brother, and having lived in the villa since their mother's passing, she was not overly concerned with the etiquette and politics of the city. Which is why Lucius only had to beg her a little to add Ovinia to the list of the noblewomen she invited for a few days.

It was harvest time. No matter how busy work at the city got, the Praefectus always took time out of his schedule to travel home for a few days. Despite Ovinia's accusations, he had not completely lost his enthusiasm about the simple pleasures of country life. Leaving the vigiles to his deputies, he headed to the countryside - this time, more excited than usual.

Had it been a mistake to lure Ovinia out to the villa? Maybe. But in the months that had passed, he had not felt any closure at all. Quite the opposite. He was dreaming about her again, playing their conversations over and over inside his head, looking for hints, or clues, and imagining a thousand and one different ways they could meet again. He wanted to meet her again.

She would probably kill him when she found out, but it was worth a try.

Harvest was in full swing on the day the guests were expected to arrive. Lucius had come home two days earlier, and the slaves and servants greeted him just as happily as Vipsania did. They were used to the dominus' whims by now, and did not complain at all when he joined their ranks to pick apples and figs and cut grapes in the vineyard. The air smelled warm and sweet, the autumn sun was shining, and there was song around the hills and people celebrated the fruits given to them by Vertumnus.

"Refreshments are prepared in the garden, domina" the slave told Ovinia when she opened her door. A low table and some couches had been set out in the villa's gardens, outside the main building in the shade of some trees and the vines creeping up on their branches. It almost seemed like the trees themselves were growing grapes. The tables were set with wine, cheese, olives, and the latest gifts of the garden: apples, grapes, figs, plums, pears, and honey.

Lucius felt a lot like Vertumnus himself, once upon a time, walking past Pomona's garden disguised as a harvester, waiting to be noticed. This time around, he was carrying a basket of apples on his shoulder, heading from the orchard to the storage buildings around the house.

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia nodded and swung the door shut again in the slave's face. She had fortunately dressed for dinner but needed to fix her hair. She hated that she had to wear it up now - at least in public. She thought it didn't suit her and lamented the days of her youth when she could actually style it how she wanted. Still, it was at least presentable as she made her way out of her allotted rooms into the gardens.

It was beautiful and a smile lit up her face as she saw it. It reminded her of the parties her own parents had thrown when she was a girl at their villa, when she used to sneak a glance out through the peristyle when she really should have been asleep. 

Vipsania wasn't here yet but that was fine by her. She'd judged correctly  that despite the influential nature of the guests, this weekend was to be a relaxed sort of affair and she suspected her host would be along shortly. Not that she minded, as with her travels here, she was perfectly content to relish the silence and her own company for a little while before she had to put the facade of being a perfect matron and mother back on. 

She didn't move to take a seat yet and instead wound her arm across her waist, the other holding a cup of watered, sweet wine that a slave had decanted. She let out a contented little sigh. From these gardens, outside of the villa's walls, you could see down into the orchards and the fields. It was blissful. She could see why both Vipsani brother had loved it here. The thought made her take another heavy sip of wine.

She paid absolutely no attention to anybody else moving around the gardens though - was not the way of things? Rich women treating the hired help as mere background noise?

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Just like Vertumnus, Lucius had walked past Ovinia and did not even get a second glance. She seemed content, standing around with her drink, ignoring the people passing by with baskets of fruit. Lucius chuckled to himself, shaking his head, then curcled back, walking up to her from the side.

"Apples, domina?"

[Sara]

"No." She waved a hand at the interruption, irritated. Why would she want an apple when there was already a spread laid out in front of her? 

She glanced across, fully prepared to scold the man and then she did a double take and her heart leapt into her mouth. Of course. Of course the invitation wasn't coincidental. Of course Vipsania wasn't really extending an olive branch and of course the Gods decided to sequester her in the countryside with really the last man she wanted to be stuck with and a gaggle of gossiping matrons. Of course. 

"Go away." She choked by way of a greeting and turned back to the spread with a glare. "This was supposed to be a ladies weekend." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

 

[Chevi]

She did not look happy to see him. Well, at least she finally recognized him, and then he got one of those glares that told him that she had not been expecting him, and did not approve of his company, simple tunic and apple basket or otherwise.

"Go away. This was supposed to be a ladies weekend." 

"It still is" he shrugged, but it did sting a little. "I'm not invited to whatever you ladies are up to. I'm just here to help with the harvest. You know. For a change."

She had called him out on not pursuing the adventures of his youth. Which she had been mistaken about, by the way.

@Sara

[Sara]

"I'm surprised you're invited here at all." She glanced sideways to him, "Do your adoptive family not have their own villa for you to make yourself a nuisance at?" 

She really should be pleased to see him - he might be the only interesting conversation she'd get all week, but she knew why she was so displeased by his presence. It was the same reason he kept drifting into her day dreams and other dreams. She hated it, and hated that seeing him here - basket heaved up on his shoulder, looking smug, would only add fuel to the fire. She exhaled sharply through her nose and turned back to the spread in front of her, sipping at her wine. 

"Are you actually harvesting?" 

 

tag: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"I'm surprised you're invited here at all. Do your adoptive family not have their own villa for you to make yourself a nuisance at?" 

"No, they actually don't. But they do own some ships, so I might go fishing later." he quipped. She turned away from him, but he knew she was struggling. She always got pissy when she was caught off guard. And sharing the same space with her - even if said space was an estate - was not easy for him either.

"Are you actually harvesting?" 

"Yes, I am actually harvesting. They only let me pose with the basket for the ladies as long as I'm not hindering the work."

[Sara]

Ovinia rolled her eyes and hugged herself tighter. She was surprised he was here at all, from the rumours she'd heard he'd been shunned by most Patrician's since his voluntary fall from grace. That his birth familia kept in touch with him enough for him to enjoy their hospitality here was surprising but...sweet. It made her stomach clench tighter. She had been right, they were too good for her. Or Vipsania and Gaius were. 

"You're posing for me?" She quipped and glanced across at him, finding her feet a little more in the conversation. "Or waiting for the other ladies to arrive? I hear Vipsania's invited Opsia Celata, she's only newly married," In the last year or so and thus was younger than the other women, "May be a prime candidate for what was it...seduction? Wasn't that how you put it?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Under the awkwardness she was probably surprised that she saw him here at all. After the initial turmoil, Lucius had remained on good terms with his brother and sister (even though Gaius was keeping up appearances of the stern paterfamilias), but that was not commonly known. They all liked it that way.

"You're posing for me? Or waiting for the other ladies to arrive? I hear Vipsania's invited Opsia Celata, she's only newly married. May be a prime candidate for what was it...seduction? Wasn't that how you put it?" 

"Of course I am posing for you. Unless you think Opsia Whatshername has a particular interest in disgraced patricians doing slave work." he quirked an eyebrow, finding his way back to the banter "Or is that just a generic taste patrician wives tend to have?"

[Sara]

Ovinia couldn't help the way her cheeks coloured and she ducked her head, taking a deep sip of her wine to try and disguise it. 

"Opsia's very beautiful." She commented with a shrug and then finally cast him a sidelong glance, "And don't all noble women fantasise about slumming it? That's why Landicus' work is so popular." She chuckled and shook her head. 

"So I can presume you were behind my invitation...?" She glanced again at him, but not before a furtive glance around to make sure they weren't being overheard. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Opsia's very beautiful."

Lucius did not give a shit about how beautiful Opsia was.

"And don't all noble women fantasise about slumming it? That's why Landicus' work is so popular." 

Lucius chuckled too; at least Ovinia was willing to make jokes now, instead of just walking away, or calling him out of making the worst possible decisions at every turn. "Not many of them slum it with someone who has entry to the Palatine." he noted, wrinkling his nose. He still had pride. Even though, technically, yes, he was the definition of slumming it for someone like her. Especially right now.

"So I can presume you were behind my invitation...?" 

"Maybe." he looked a little sheepish. "But Vipsania really is having company over. And I do have harvesting to do. So if the women's company is all you want... that's alright too."

[Sara]

Ovinia chuckled, still finding innuendo awkward. She hadn't flirted or bantered in years. Years and years and years. It felt odd, but felt...nice. "I don't know," She shook her head and wrinkled her own nose, "There are some very handsome Praetorian's these days." 

She glanced sideways at him as he admitted the deception, at least having the courtesy of looking a little sheepish about it. She should be annoyed - and she affected an air as if she was - he'd tricked her here and now she'd have to spend the week dodging him and his glances and his flirtation. But another side of her was silently thrilled. When was the last time anybody had done something as brash and bold for her? 

"And what did you say to your sister when she asked why you'd want a random matron invited to her week?" She arched a brow and scoffed, "If you ruin my reputation just to needle me for a week..." She shot him a glare. "And put that basket down before you throw your back out. You're not twenty anymore." 

 

TAG: @Chevi