What Could Have Been?

[Sara]

She could pick a thousand holes in his plan if she really wanted to. But she didn't really want to, a small, odd part of her did want to do this. The most pathetic act of rebellion against her perfectly straight-laced life, for sure, but an act of rebellion nonetheless. The only other times she'd come close to something like this had been with Lucius in her youth, or perhaps snatched kisses with Decimus all those years ago. 

She screeched as she was scooped up and leant out an arm to swot at his cheek in a feeble slap in protest. The screech was only doubled, however, when she was deposited in the tub. The sensation of the grapes made her squeal and curl her toes. It was awful. She refused to let go of his shoulder as he started to move away, clutching on to his tunic. "Don't you dare leave me here!" 

She took a tentative step and felt something squelch under her feet. She wrinkled her nose. "This is horrible, why do you do this voluntarily?!" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Ovinia made a screeching sound as he picked her up. Ten, fifteen years earlier even Lucius would not have been this bold. But he was too old now to stop doing things because of possible regret. So, he put her in the vat of grapes. 

"Don't you dare leave me here!... This is horrible, why do you do this voluntarily?!" 

Lucius laughed. This was definitely amusing. He had wondered often how Ovinia would react to something like this. She did not look very amused. But she had made the decision to participate.

"Give it a minute" he grinned. Since she did not let go, he pulled himself up and over the edge of the vat to get in too. The grapes squelched some more. "I do it because it's fun. Try."

@Sara

[Sara]

"Stop smiling," She huffed - transforming herself back into the entitled, spoiled teenager he had known. As he moved to lower himself in, she moved her hands to grip onto the side of the vat, fingers blanching against the edge from her death-like grip. 

"I am trying." She took a tentative step and felt more grapes burst under her feet. The sensation made her nauseous and she wrinkled her nose. "I'm never going to look at wine the same way. Dirty footed slaves stamping on it, and then vendors charging hundreds of denarii for a cup." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Stop smiling,"

He didn't.

"I am trying. I'm never going to look at wine the same way. Dirty footed slaves stamping on it, and then vendors charging hundreds of denarii for a cup." 

"And you honestly did not know this before?" he quirked an eyebrow, stomping around in the vat. "Also, their feet are not dirty, better villas make sure of that. And wine takes a long time to transform anyway. You'll realize there are a bunch of things in here other than grapes." he grinned. "Just enjoy stomping around."

[Sara]

"Why would I know this?" She rolled her eyes and released one hand from her death-grip on the vat. "Do I look like the sort of person who knows where their wine or food comes from?" Or cared about it?

She did as she was bidden and stomped around a little, making red liquid spurt up and cover the hem of her dress above her knees. That would be a bitch to get out. The peculiarity of the sensation was easing a little but soon any squeamishness merged into concern that if she let her other hand go from the edge, that she'd immediately slip and fall down. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Why would I know this? Do I look like the sort of person who knows where their wine or food comes from?" 

"Good point" Lucius noted. She probably knew more than she admitted, but she was still a patrician wife, and she had to keep up appearances. Even ankle deep in grapes.

"Come on." he extended a hand to her, since she was still clinging to the edge of the vat. "Now normally, there would be singing and dancing involved, so the whole thing is less boring. But now there's just the two of us."

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia glanced at his hand and debated it for a second. "I'm not bored." She rolled her eyes, "I apologise if you are." She tentatively reached for his hand, snaking her fingers through his for stability, she told herself, more than anything else. She still didn't let her other hand drop though.

"And don't remind me we're alone," She said as she peered down at her feet, smothered by grapes, "I thought I was going to have a heart attack leaving the house." 

Reluctantly, she let her other hand drop and stood on her own two feet, gripping his hand for support. She took another tentative step. "Aren't you  going to show me how it's done then?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"I'm not bored. I apologise if you are."

He wasn't. He was not sure what was happening, but he was definitely not bored. He would just take this one step at a time. Literally, since Ovinia was a little shaky on her feet.

"And don't remind me we're alone. I thought I was going to have a heart attack leaving the house." 

"Would you prefer if we weren't alone?" he asked more quietly as she finally let go of the side of the vat. She had been very adamant about not being seen with him, especially not in a position like this.

"Aren't you  going to show me how it's done then?" 

"You are doing it." he smiled, stomping his feet while holding her hand. There was a trickling sound as more grape juice poured into a barrel from the vat. "Just stomp your feet. You are pressing grapes into juice, and juice will turn into wine. Bacchus' gift to mortals."

@Sara

[Sara]

She glanced across at him. No. If she hadn't wanted to be alone, she wouldn't have come. She merely offered him a sad smile in return and shrugged. She wanted to be alone, but knew she shouldn't have been and he knew it to. Yet the pretence was off; she'd admitted her sad little life and her regrets to him only a few minutes earlier, she could hardly go back now and claim that she was happy, that she didn't want his company. 

She lifted one foot up after another, stomping down gently as if afraid she'd slip. She wrinkled her nose as she did, still finding the sensation unpleasant. "You'd think Bacchus would make it a little easier to make, no?" She stomped again and the juice from the grapes underfoot spurted up to cover Lucius' leg a little. She chuckled and stomped again, with the same result. "Okay, maybe this is a little amusing." She was sure she wasn't supposed to find the process funny though.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"You'd think Bacchus would make it a little easier to make, no?"

"Where would be the fun in that? The gods never make things worth having easy." he smiled. The stomped, and Ovinia followed suit, finally giving up on the thought of protecting her dress. Sweet smelling grape juice splashed everywhere.

"Okay, maybe this is a little amusing."

"Isn't it" he grinned. He still held her hand as they stomped around in the vat, juice flowing into the barrel. "I do love the fresh smell of pressed grapes." he added. It reminded him of his childhood. And freedom at the villa.

[Sara]

She gripped his hand as her heel skidded out from under her, although she was in no real danger of falling. "Reminds you of being young?" She arched a brow, not meaning to infer he wasn't young, at least not on purpose. Time had been kind to him, she'd give him that. 

"I feel like that about raspberries. My mother, when she was alive, when I was a girl, used to demand they were imported for her every summer." She smiled fondly at the memory. "Makes me feel like a kid again whenever I see them." She squelched the grapes under her feet and more juice trickled out into the barrel. 

"I'm glad Vipsania and Gaius let you come back here still," she admitted quieter. She knew he'd grown up here and looking at him now, saw that he was in his element, "I was...worried for you. When you made your decision, that you were cutting off good people." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Reminds you of being young?" 

"You know, it does" Lucius chuckled. He did not think of himself as old quite yet, but he was definitely not young anymore. But the grapes, the harvest, the countryside always brought back memories.

"I feel like that about raspberries. My mother, when she was alive, when I was a girl, used to demand they were imported for her every summer. Makes me feel like a kid again whenever I see them." 

"Raspberries? What do you know" Lucius smiled as they stomped around. Ovinia rarely ever shared details like that about herself. And now he knew something new. Raspberries. Something simple, and yet it made sense, in his mind. Her feet were covered in grape juice now, but she was beginning to find her footing. He did not let go of her hand yet.

"I'm glad Vipsania and Gaius let you come back here still. I was...worried for you. When you made your decision, that you were cutting off good people." 

"Well... they were cutting me off, if you want to be technical about it" he sighed "They were mostly doing it to keep up appearances. Gaius was angry, and he took time to come around... but they had to admit that I have found something I do well." he shrugged "I don't make a show of coming here. But Vipsania doesn't mind."

@Sara

[Sara]

"I'll have to take your word for it. That you do it well." She chuckled and stomped a little, "I don't think I ever want  to be in a position when I need your services," She realised the innuendo that had unintentionally slipped out and chuckled again, "The vigiles services, that is." She was sure she would though, if her daughters absconding habit continued into her teenage years. 

"I'm glad." she said with a genuine, soft smile in his direction. 

She was more confident on her feet now, less terrified by the prospect of slipping and breaking her neck, but she still kept clinging onto his hand, her fingers enveloped in his. How chaste, but thrilling the sensation was. "I'll try and get to know her a little," She offered as she stomped again and splattered more errant juice on both herself and him, "Least I could do in recompense for her being forced to invite me by her lascivious brother." 

 

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[Chevi]

"I'll have to take your word for it. That you do it well. I don't think I ever want  to be in a position when I need your services... The vigiles services, that is." 

She caught herself and corrected her words, but Lucius arched an eyebrow at her anyway. "Of course. Whatever else could you mean?" he grinned. He knew full well what she thought she had implied, but only someone like her would have been overly cautious about it. He deiced not to give her any more grief.

"I'll try and get to know her a little. Least I could do in recompense for her being forced to invite me by her lascivious brother." 

"Lascivious?" Lucius gave her a look as they stomped around in the grapes, splashing vivid red juice everywhere. She was still holding his hand, but she was more sure on her feet now. "My my Ovinia, I don't think you have met many lascivious men if you think my behavior qualifies. We are just stomping grapes here."

[Sara]

Ovinia rolled her eyes and stomped extra hard so the grapes splattered upwards. Petty? Yes. Necessary? Also yes. "I've met plenty. Most of the men in the senate think women speak out of their chests, judging by where they stare at parties." She rolled her eyes again and exhaled sharply. 

She stomped again and squeezed his hand firmly as he foot skidded a little again. "Of course, of course." She shook her head. "You had absolutely no ulterior motive about forcing your sweet sister to invite me, and then asking me to come to the vineyard alone. How could I have thought otherwise." 

She was only jesting, really. He'd explained his rationale for inviting her, after all, but she couldn't help the small glance she shot in his direction...she just needed to double check.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"I've met plenty. Most of the men in the senate think women speak out of their chests, judging by where they stare at parties." 

Lucius laughed. She was probably not wrong. Roman matrons had to choose very carefully what parties they attended, and when they decided to leave the men alone. And Ovinia was very attractive. No wonder she had to deal with that. "Praise be the goddess Baubo" he grinned.

Ovinia stomped the grapes like she wanted to kill them. She was getting the hang of this thing. Or maybe she was just pissed about being called out.

"Of course, of course. You had absolutely no ulterior motive about forcing your sweet sister to invite me, and then asking me to come to the vineyard alone. How could I have thought otherwise." 

"Let's set something straight" he noted, tugging on her hand to make her look up. "My motives are not ulterior. You know I would ravish you in a heartbeat. And you know I won't try it unless you tell me to. Because I think we are both too old for any more games."

[Sara]

She choked an incredulous laugh and shot him a glare. But the moment of joviality passed as soon as it had come and she was left staring into his deep eyes after a fervent tug on her hand. 

She felt her heart leap into her throat, suffocating her for a moment. Her mouth ran dry and her feet stopped their rhythmic stomping. She, in her most shameful of moments, had dreamt he'd say something like that. It had been years, but those images came flooding back to her, heating up her cheeks. 

She wanted to make a funny quip about how you shouldn't call the woman you're trying to impress old, but she didn't dare. She just stared at him and then swallowed, feeling like she was on a knife edge. "You know I'll never tell you to." her heart was beating furiously, raging at her mind for having sense in a moment like this. It was like she was being pulled in two very different directions by her body. Unfortunately the straight-laced, fearful, good girl Ovinia won out, as it always tended to. "I'm married. I have a family. I have so much to lose." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"You know I'll never tell you to."

"I know." he sighed. He was not trying to seduce her now, in the middle of a vat of grapes. A man could hope, but he had learned long ago not to set his hopes that high.

"I'm married. I have a family. I have so much to lose." 

"It's alright." he said. He reached up with his free hand; she had splatters of grape juice on her cheek. "I don't want you to lose them. I just wanted to you to... see this. Admit it, you have been curious." he added with a small smile. "I'll help you sneak back inside. No harm done."

Or rather, the harm had been done a long time ago.

[Sara]

I know. She wished he didn't. She wished he'd make the move for her, however selfish that thought might have been. She'd always been crippled by expectations, and it meant in a moment as important as this, when her heart was telling her one thing and her head another, she was paralysed and sunk back into old habits; compliance with the norms.

"It's not alright." She swallowed and sunk her cheek into his palm, moving  her spare hand up to wrap around his wrist to keep it there. "But thank you." She meant it, genuinely. Despite the ache in her heart, this had been the most exhilaration she'd had since...well, since she could remember. "I'm sorry. I should go." Her eyes were watery now and she sighed, dropping her head. She should get out of here, out of the vat, out of his company. She hadn't the courage to follow through after coming, what was the point in sticking around?

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

He held his hand on her cheek and she let him. She leaned into his touch, and he could see she was conflicted. She wanted him, deep down, she wanted the same things he did. But this was not their time, and they had missed their chance.

"I'm sorry. I should go."

"Don't be sorry." he said quietly, finally stepping back, and helping her to the edge of the vat. He got out first, and then lifted her out too. "I'm happy you came here. Truly. Now... let's make sure you get back inside unnoticed."

[Sara]

December - three months after the villa 

It would be Saturnalia tomorrow. The crowds hemmed the streets, getting in their drinking and dancing a day early - warming themselves up for the main event. Ovinia's husband was doing similarly, although mercifully not at home - he was at some senator's house, drinking and whoring undoubtedly in the bland way that most men his age and class did. It left the house empty and her twiddling her thumbs. Tadia and her step-brothers were already at the villa, where herself and Spurius would be journeying tomorrow morning. She glanced over at the chest with her clothes, neatly packed and sighed. Another year gone, wasted and what did she have to show for it? She slammed the chest shut and moved out into the peristyle. 

Noise filtered in from the streets around them as it always did, but this time it was different. There were yells, but not the yells of joyous revelry as was usual at this time of the day. There were screeches and the air was thick with an acrid smell. She glanced across at one of her slaves, stood nervously fidgeting a few feet away. "I thought the wind was due to blow south? Put it out?" The girl nodded and bit her lip. She knew there was a small fire on the Esquiline earlier in the evening - probably some stupid pleb that had lit a fire on the top floor an insula to beat the winter chill, but such things weren't unusual. She was sure the vigiles would have it under control soon enough. They always did. Spurius had agreed - hence his decision to venture out for a night of frivolity. She bit at her lip and sniffed again, smoke lying heavy in the air. "Fetch me when the air clears." 

It wouldn't clear. As the hours ticked by, the fire was spreading. It jumped from insula to insula - shop to shop, domus to domus. The slaves were in the house and those that did venture out said that there was still a path to one of the city gates from their house in Regio VI. She paced the floor of her room, snapping at them that she wouldn't leave the house - that Spurius would be back and then they'd leave. She wasn't going to up and run in the night for a fire that would likely never reach them. She wasn't going to wander the city alone like a pleb whilst her husband was undoubtedly on his way home to get her. She didn't know he wasn't until it was too late, and the fire was only a few streets away. The air was thick with smoke and she felt as if she was in a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

Edited October 23, 2021 by Sara

[Chevi]

Lucius and the vigiles had been fighting the flames now for the better part of the day, and it was becoming clear that Rome was in for another devastating conflagration. The fire started on the Esquiline, and the wind picked up before they could clear a path. No sever blocks were engulfed in the blaze, and people were beginning to panic. Even worse, the fire was reaching the houses of the wealthy. Lucius swore profusely while he rearranged the vigiles. Getting the patricians out of their homes was always a hassle, and their slaves carrying valuable belongings always clogged up the streets. And there was no time to waste at all.

He only realized where they were when he turned a corner. He remembered the building from the one time he escorted Ovinia and her daughter home. There was smoke everywhere, and people were already streaming out of the neighboring houses. Not this one. Maybe they had already gone?

"Send everyone to the gardens!" he repeated his orders to his men. "I do not fucking care where they want to go. They can sort it out later. And if any of their shit clogs up the street, toss it in the fire." He moved down the street, banging on the door of Ovinia's house with his fist. "Vigiles! Time to go!"

[Sara]

“Do not open that door!” She glared at the slave who’d come to tell her the vigiles were outside. She couldn’t leave. Everything she owned was here and Spurius wasn’t. He would be home any minute, she was sure of it. 

“Domina, the fire is spreading, they are evacuating the houses.”  Ovinia scoffed and shook her head, paralysed by fear but not knowing it. “Don’t be ridiculous, the fire won’t have jumped to this region. They’re just being overcautious.” She said with a mild cough and watery eyes from the smoke. She felt her anxiety rising, as it was for the slaves as they did the thing a slave should never do and disobeyed their mistress.

One of them swung open the door to Lucius, fear in his eyes. “The domina is refusing to leave, sir.”

[Chevi]

Lucius hoped the house would be empty. Anyone with a lick of sense had already left, or was leaving as fast as they could. The door didn't open and he almost moved on, but then it swung open and a pale slave looked out.

The domina is refusing to leave, sir.”

"Oh for fuck's sake" Lucius swore, waving to his men. "Keep moving! Keep the path to the shelters open whatever you do. Go!" He turned back to the slave. "Your domina is leaving. So are you. Grab what you need to. Move." He marched into the domus. Having been on his feet for more than a day, Lucius did not look very regal, or even as a prefect. He was covered in ash and soot, his hair tied back and the cloth to cover his mouth pulled down around his neck.

"Ovinia Camilla!" His voice was raspy from the smoke, but it still boomed through the house "Time to go!"

[Sara]

Ovinia jumped at the booming voice that called her name and snapped her head round. It was not a voice she expected to hear, but she’d recognise it anywhere, raspy as it was. She should have expected this really, Prefects she was sure didn’t usually go house to house or get into the thick of it, but then Lucius wasn’t the usual sort of Prefect she supposed.

She quickly moved through the domus until she saw him standing in her atrium. He looked like an actor covered in stage makeup with all the soot on his face and ash in his hair, not like the Lucius she knew. “T-The house is safe.” She swallowed, “And Spurius isn’t home yet.” She snapped her eyes to the slaves hurrying around her, ferrying their meagre belongings out of the house. “We’re not going anywhere!” 

She didn’t want to see the flames, didn’t want to believe it was real that she was in danger and her husband had left her here to burn. Everything was fine, she tried to convince herself, Lucius was just overreacting. 

 

TAG: @Chevi