Juno, bless us

[Sara]

Horatia saw it in Metella's face before she said a word and she felt panic constrict her chest, her face turning ashen. "No," She choked firmly. "I am going to pray, and then I'm going home." But she could feel the pressure already and the tightening pain in her belly and across her back. She wasn't the wife of the ex-Consul anymore, she was just a scared woman - all but alone...besides an irreverent flame haired British slave, in a Temple in the middle of the city. 

She reached out a hand instinctively for Metella's and squeezed it so hard, her vivid blue eyes wide and panicked. "I-I'm not ready to die." She swallowed and tears were welling in her eyes, "I'm not ready..." She still had so much she wanted to see and do; she wanted to watch her daughter walk, veiled, to her husband on her wedding day and she wanted to watch her son return home in a Triumph. She wanted grandchildren. She wanted to grow old with Aulus, in love and comfort. Another pain seized her and she doubled over in agony, no longer trying to suppress the moan of pain. It was happening so much quicker this time around. She wasn't ready. 

She groaned, a primal, guttural sound that sounded so out of place coming from the petite, quiet woman as the contraction finished in a crescendo of pain. She panted for breath and reached out to Metella again, eyes wide. "H-help me to the altar?" She wasn't going to give birth there, but she had her words she wanted to say. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"No. I am going to pray, and then I'm going home." 

"You are not going to make it" Metella stated firmly, as if she was talking to a child. She was good at that. She could see the panic rising in Horatia's eyes, and felt it in the grip of her hand. Alright, bad wording.

"I-I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready..." 

Oh shit. The woman was terrified. She had done this twice, and she was terrified, because it had been done before. Metella squeezed her hand. One of them had to keep her head straight. It was going to have to be Metella. She gave Horatia a determined look. "You are not going to make it home to have the baby. You will have it right here. You will be alright. The goddess is watching." Even if the damn priestesses were not.

"H-help me to the altar?" 

Metella helped Horatia get up, and walked her to the few steps to the altar. She scooted the chair after them so she had something to brace herself on. 

Time to get things rolling.

Juno, forgive me.

Metella put her fingers in her mouth and let out a sharp whistle. The priestess appeared with a look of murder, and maybe the goddess would smite her for this, but she couldn't exactly leave Horatia's side. "This child is coming right now, by the will of the goddess." Metella declared. The priestess looked ready to faint. "Show us to a room we can use, and get us water and blankets. When the litter gets here, tell them to go find a midwife. Fast." The priestess stared. Metella sighed. "Believe me, domina, I don't want to be the one giving the orders, but someone has to. I will makesure the consul knows how gelpful you have been."

Well, that worked.

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia found her way to the altar in a slow, stumbling fashion and knelt down heavily. Her eyes shut immediately as she tried to drown out what was happening and focus on her prayers. Please protect me. I have been your faifthul servant, I will dedicate whatever you will if you see me through this. I will offer everything I can offer if you grant me my life and the life of the child. I will forever be within your debt. Please protect me, please protect Metella of the Cassii-Longini house for her service to you and to me. Please grant her every favour as you have done to me with my children. Please... Her words became more audible at the end, but they were likely drowned out by Metella's own instructions. She trailed off as another pain gripped her. This was happening too fast. Far, far, far too fast. 

She cried out again and stretched out on the floor on her knees, trying to breathe through it. Her palla was a mess, tangled around her body and her cheeks were flushed from the pain and the exertion. Titus had taken days to come, Calpurnia less than a day and now...the aches early this morning must have been the start of it. She was crying now, in pain and in terror. She remembered the blood. She remembered the burning pain, the fever. She choked and let out a scream through her teeth. 

The priestess looked horrified and glanced between Horatia, prone on the floor and Metella. "T-this way, we have a r-room with a bed for the guardian at night, c-come..." The woman was ashen faced and gestured for the younger girls to start readying hot water and blankets. Horatia didn't hear any of this though, suffering as she was. "Me-Metella..." She called out, reaching out a hand. She needed the young woman's strength.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Horatia was muttering prayers as Metella was trying to get some semblance of a plan together. From the looks of it, they did not have much time.

"Help me with her." They lifted Horatia to her feet, and the priestess led them to the small side room. It was barely bigger than a chamber, with a single bed and a small table in it. Metella yanked the used sheets off the bed and tossed them out the door. She really hoped the night watch didn't have fleas or some shit like that.

Juno protect us.

"Sheets. Blankets. Towels. Water. Lots of water. Light." she listed "I have no idea what I am doing, so you can all go and pray. That is what you do, right?"

There was a general scurrying, but for now, they were alone. Metella helped Horatia sit, and grasped her hands. "Look at me." She had to stay firm, even though she also really, really wanted to panic. "You ca do this. You have done this. I am here, I will help you. Alright? And a midwife is on the way. Take a breath. Let's get your palla off, alright?"

@Sara

[Sara]

She made it into the room, although how she had no idea. She didn't even care that it was better suited to a slave than a Patrician, she needed to sit. For her preceding two births there had been the birthing chair, but there was nothing of that sort here and she glanced around, panicked. The bed would have to do. She sat on the edge of the bed with Metella's assistance, breathing deeply, cheeks flushed and her eyes burned into the younger woman's. Her fingers were grasping at her hands. She took a breath as instructed and nodded. She wanted to go home. She felt like a child again. She took another breath and exhaled.

She could feel the tightening that preceded a contraction and hurriedly tried to stip the palla off, unwinding it with moans of exertion. The stola would have to come off as well, leaving her just in the thin tunica she wore under it, but that would have to wait as the severity of the contraction hit her. She ground down on her teeth, groaning in pain and exertion. Sweat beaded on her brow and she gripped Metella's hand ferociously. She'd apologise for that later. It passed a minute or so later and left her panting, shuddering with the pain and panic. She was going to die. She barely escaped it with Calpurnia, but this time her luck had run out. 

She gripped Metella's hands tighter and then let go, trying to fumble with the multiple ties on her shoulders and arms that held the stola up. "H-elp me undo this? I-I feel pressure." The time to push was getting close, she could feel it as the contractions were getting closer and closer. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"You are doing well." Metella had no idea, but she was going to state it to make it true. Horatia was not fainting, or flailing, so that was good, so far. After the next wave of pain, Metella got to work, stripping her palla and stola off, with not much regard to the ties and the fabric.

A temple servant showed up with a basin and a large pitcher of water, and some towels. Metella washed her hands. She wet a towel from the pitcher, and held it to Horatia's forehead. She looked pale and sweaty, and somehow smaller now that she was only in her tunica. Metella set some towels down on the bed.

"I know this is not ideal" she noted, helping Horatia try to find a better position, holding her arms. "But this baby is coming out, with the blessing of the goddess. So. Um. You push, and I catch it. That's what we are going to do. Okay?"

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia breathed, relieved to be out of the heavy mass of material that was her stola and palla. She gasped for breath in both panic and pain and looked wide-eyed at Metella. She owed this girl everything, despite her resilience Horatia was sure that if she had not been here, she would have still been on that bench  in the grove. Nodding, Horatia moved to prop herself up on a mass of pillows, pulling up her tunica and  bending her knees. She felt another contraction drawing close and gasped, gripping the towels, bunching the fabric so tightly between her fingers that her knuckles turned white. She was sweating and trembling and tried to breathe through it. She wanted a midwife, or a medicus or somebody that would tell her when it was time to push. Metella and the women of the temple were no use for that. 

The pain subsided, but only for what felt like a few moments before it was building again and she gasped. She could feel the familiar pressure and leaned forward. It felt wrong to do this lying down but she had no other ideas; she wasn't convinced she'd be able to hold herself steady crouching. She glanced at Metella and nodded and started to push. The agony came screaming back from the distant past of her memories almost as if the interceding thirteen years had never happened. She tried to remember what the midwives had told her last time. Don't scream out, breathe through it. Stop when your body tells you to stop. She moaned and as the pains eased, stopped pushing. She didn't know if it was working. This had been part of the problem with Calpurnia...things had gotten stuck. "I-is it working?" She choked and felt the tightenings increase again. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Metella knew that most women gave birth in a birthing chair, but they did not have one, and none of the priestesses seemed inclined to help. The goddess was probably not pleased with that. She could not well hold Horatia up and also help the baby, so she let her get on the bed, piling pillows and blankets behind her for a half-sitting position. No woman should have to push lying down, even she knew that.

"Aaaaalright" she took deep breaths to steady herself too, as Horatia strained through a contraction. "Great job. Yell if you want to, just keep breathing." And do not pass out. Metella knelt on the bed, folding Horatia's tunica up. "I can see the baby's head there. It shouldn't be long now, alright? Juno's here. She's helping. Why else would this happen in her temple? We're going to be fine."

@Sara

[Sara]

She managed to choke a laugh at the brusque way Metella was directing her. If Longinus ever lost need of her, she'd make a fine midwife, Horatia thought and took comfort from that. That comfort didn't last long though, nor did the relief that Metella could see the babies head. It could all go so wrong still, she knew that. The child could get stuck, or she could bleed out or the fever could set in, after the birth. She felt herself spiral and tried desperately not to think about it. Mercifully, in that instance, the pain was a distraction. 

The contraction started in earnest again and Horatia groaned through her teeth, straining with all of her might and strength. It felt impossible and she was trying her best. She felt no movement between her legs, as if the child was not ready, as if it was fighting her to join the world. She groaned and her scream became hoarse and deafening. She collapsed back onto her makeshift backrest, panting and crying. "I-it's not working." She choked, legs trembling between Metella's grasp, "I-I can't..." You can. Her mind told her, but she didn't believe it. She was going to die in the Goddesses own home. She hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye to Aulus - she'd been busy this morning, and hadn't waved him off as she usually did. She felt the pains start up again.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Yes it is, it's working. You are doing it." Metella decided, watching what was unfolding in a surreal way. A few months, and she was going to be on the other end of this, and she was looking forward to it less and less by the minute. At least it was going fast?... But right now, this was not about her. Metella put a hand on Horatia's belly, looking up. "There is an entire gaggle of priestesses praying for you out there, that has to count for something, right?" she added with a small smile. "Come on. You are close. Let's get this baby out, hm?"

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia managed a strangled laugh and shook her head, tears slipping down her flushed cheeks. "Their prayers aren't working," She managed to force out, "It's still agony." It didn't occur to her that this might be terrifying for Metella in an entirely different way - right now all she could focus on was her own pain and her own fear. The next contraction started a few moments later and Horatia bared down, groaning and then screaming. You're going to die. No. PUSH. Her mind was a tangle of thoughts. If she could just get the baby out...if she could just hear it scream...then she would die knowing it wasn't for nothing. PUSH. Her mind was telling her. She was.

And the burning got more intense, like a white hot light she couldn't extinguish. Her screams echoed around the small room and she reached out, snatching at Metella's shoulder for something to grip, for some sort of comfort. She wanted her women; she wanted her husband - ludicrous as the thought was in this sort of environment. The pain was continuing and so she continued to push, fingers gripping the flesh of Metella's shoulder, scream hoarse and deafening until relief. Just for a moment. Just for the briefest of moments as the pain swelled again. It wasn't over, but it almost was. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Their prayers aren't working. It's still agony." 

Horatia was terrified, and in pain. All of that made sense. She was giving birth in a temple that was supposed to help her but wasn't, in  a terrible room, with only one girl for company who was about as terrified as she was, and twice as clueless. Metella was silently praying too. Horatia screamed, it was a terrible, primal sound, and gripped her shoulder hard enough Metella was sure it was going to leave bruises. But at the same time, the baby was moving. Coming into the world. With a convulsion, the head appeared, and then a little, scrunched up face.

"Whoa!" Metella reached out, steadying the baby's head.It was bloody and covered in slime. It was... a whole lot of surreal. Please be okay. "Good job, mama! Here we go! Keep going!"

@Sara

[Sara]

Ordinarily Horatia might have found Metella's own brand of encouragement annoying, but at present it was exactly what she needed. It even made her laugh - a choked, strangled sound but a laugh all the same.

The contraction came with surprising force and she found herself doubled over, screeching through the agony. The pressure was immense and she couldn't fathom that it was real, that she was doing this - in this place with this girl her only company. Over her screams she could hear the prayers of the priestesses getting louder and louder. You can do this. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as he held her calves and continued to push. KEEP GOING. She did. She kept going until there was a wave of pressure and then release. Utter relief. The pain stopped - or the sharp, burning agony did and the dull ache that replaced it was nothing in comparison. Horatia collapsed back against the bed sobbing, body wracked and shaking. "T-the baby...?" She managed to choke to Metella.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

The screaming was deafening, and the pain must have been intense, but with the next contraction, the body of the baby slipped out. Literally. He was extremely slippery, covered in all sorts of things. Metella lay him on the towel between Horatia's legs, and watches as the tiny feet and hands squirmed. Horatia collapsed back on the pillows. She was bleeding, but not in a way that would have been alarming. Well. More alarming.

"T-the baby...?"

The reply came in a small, gurgling, choking sound, and then a tiny whine, and then a cry. Metella gasped. Oh, thank you Juno, thank you thank you thank you. She carefully folded the towel around the little body and the dangling chord, and lifted him. So tiny. So tiny, wrinkly, pink, and slippery. And so very alive.

"It's a boy" she grinned. "He's alright. He's fine."

@Sara

[Sara]

"It's a boy. He's alright. He's fine." Horatia let out a wracked sob and her hands were immediately reaching for her child. Her son. He's alright. He's alive. He's alright. Her own health didn't matter in comparison, not in comparison to this. She choked and a smile as wide as her face settled on her lips - as she beamed down at Metella, trying to gather her son...but there was a problem. 

"You have to..." She winced and led back against the pillows, trying to catch her breath. "You...you have to cut the cord. I-I don't have a knife." And she doubted Metella did either. She wanted to hold him more than she ever wanted to hold anything. She stared him down, tears slipping over her cheeks. She didn't even realise that by this point in her last birth she was already slipping under the veil. She was fine. She would be fine. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Horatia was weeping, and Metella felt tears in her eyes too. The baby was definitely crying. Strong set of lungs.

"You have to... You...you have to cut the cord. I-I don't have a knife."

"OH. Right." She remembered this part, from there Cassia was born. After some hesitation, Metella looked around, and pulled one of the ties out of Horatia's discarded stola. She unwrapped the baby, tying the chord close to his belly. "He is fine. He is strong. Has all his toes and everything." she said, talking to keep Horatia's attention. She was not quite done yet, after all. "HEY! We need a knife!" She yelled out of the room. The priestess must have heard the baby crying, after all. One of the servants appeared eventually, timidly poking her head in, and holding a knife. Metella washed it, then ushered the girl out with the basin for fresh water. "Stay awake, mama, you can hold him in a moment." As soon as she figured out how the hell to do this.

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia kept her eyes on her son, beaming a smile even as the servant came in with a knife and handed it to Metella. He did look perfect - even bloodied and dirtied as he was. He was hers. After all these years, she had another child, and a son at that. She breathed with relief and bent at her waist to get a better look at what Metella was doing. She knew she wasn't quite finished yet, but she was almost there and the next part was easier. She felt exhausted though - wrung out in a way she couldn't describe. She couldn't stop looking at the baby though. "My boy..." she trailed a finger down the child's cheek and glanced up to Metellla, moving her hand to cover hers for the briefest of moments. Their respective classes disappeared in that moment, at least for her, for just a moment. 

She nodded at the cord and felt another pain, telling her it was time to finish the job. She breathed through it. "Cut it..." She managed and winced, falling back against the pillows... "A-and then we're almost done, we're almost done..." She was speaking more to herself than Metella, and before long the afterbirth was delivered and done. She didn't see what was done with it - which was probably for the best. But there was no great gush of blood - no agonising cramping. She breathed - looking at Metella with sweaty, pale skin and tears in her eyes; "You're a Goddess..." Was all she cold say, by way of thanks.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

The look in Horatia's eyes spoke volumes. She had a baby, a son. And he was alive, and healthy, thank the gods. Horatia looked at her for a moment, and Metella smiled back, woman to woman.

"Cut it... A-and then we're almost done, we're almost done..."

Metella cut the cord, and then wrapped the baby again, setting him gently on the bed. She knew they were not quite done yet, but Horatia seemed more at ease now. Wrung out and exhausted, and pale, but not in so much pain and panic. She delivered the afterbirth, and Metella placed it in another towel. She looked it over as much as she could, it seemed intact. That was a good thing, she remembered that. There was no much blood coming with it. Metella placed some towels between Horatia's legs, and put a blanket over her for warmth, before picking up the baby, who had stopped crying, and was making some fussing sounds.

"You're a Goddess..." 

"No I'm not" she chuckled, holding out the baby to Horatia. "But the goddess definitely helped. Here. You can hold him. You have done great."

@Sara

[Sara]

To Horatia, Metella absolutely was a Goddess. She took the snuffling bundle and tucked him under the blanket with her - unwrapping him a little so he was directly against her chest as she did. Her eyes were filled with wonder at the little miracle, so perfect. Her hands found his and she counted out his fingers, almost mesmerised. She felt exhausted, but no moreso than with Titus. She breathed and sank back against the pillows. She couldn't stop the tears as they started to come. One arm was wrapped protectively around the boy but the other was helplessly swatting at the tears. Her shoulders were jerking as she sobbed, absolutely overcome. 

"I could not have done this without you..." She breathed, a choked sound through her tears, "I owe you everything Metella." And she meant it. She had no idea what she could give to repay the kindness she had been shown, but it would have to be something monumental. And she would have to write to Lucius Cassius Longinus. Urgently. "I...I thought I was going to die," She breathed but her tears didn't settle, "I have been so afraid...for so many months..." She swallowed with big gulping breaths and then managed to blink watery eyes in Metella's direction. Nobody had ever seen her quite so undone before - she was usually a paragon of restraint and precision. "Thank you." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Metella handed the baby to Horatia and let her hug him. In the meantime, the servant returned with the basin, and Metella washed her hands. Gods, she was covered in grime up to her elbows. She cleaned herself, before she poured water from the pitcher onto a clean towel.

"I could not have done this without you... I owe you everything Metella."

Metella smiled, shaking her head. Patricians liked to throw favors around. She wondered if she'd still mean it once she stopped bleeding out of her lady parts.

"I...I thought I was going to die. I have been so afraid...for so many months... Thank you." 

"You are most welcome." she chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. She dabbed the wet towel on Horatia's face and neck, cooling her and cleaning up some of the sweat and tears. "You were amazing. Your husband better be proud of having a wife like you." The baby fussed, and Horatia looked beyond exhausted. Metella gave her a smile. "So, I've got all this to look forward to, huh."

@Sara

[Sara]

"He is." Horatia affirmed and cast her eyes back down to the boy. Her boy. Her son. It still didn't feel quite real. Had she chosen not to ignore the early labour pains this morning, perhaps she'd be more accustomed to this, but as it was it felt like a miracle.

She meant it though; Aulus was proud of her, she knew that. She saw it in every glance and small smile. It didn't mean he wouldn't be furious for what had happened though. It wasn't her fault (...for the most part), but she had still chosen to go to the temple in pain...and his son was born on the bed of a night watchman, with no midwife and no medicus. They had been lucky - she knew that. Had it been a more complicated birth, there was every possibility she would never have come home. She swallowed and tried to push the thought away for later...she would have to prepare a reasoned argument for why everything was fine, before Aulus saw her in nine days time. 

"You do..." She managed a strangled laugh as her tears and sobs started to dry out. "...but there is nothing more precious than holding your child. It makes it worth it." she managed a weak smile. The feeling hadn't prevented her from taking silphium for the last thirteen years, mind. "And see? You've done it once for another woman...your own will be no bother..." She shifted on the pillows so she was sat a little more upright and could look at Metella properly, "You'll have my prayers...but...you're worried?" she could see it, even in the way she held herself.

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"You do...but there is nothing more precious than holding your child. It makes it worth it."

Metella really hoped so. She liked Cassia, and basically raised her, but Cassia was not her child. She was her responsibility. She wondered what it would feel like, to have her own. Hers and Attis'. This little one in Horatia's arms, wrinkly and dirty as he was, looked quite cute.

"And see? You've done it once for another woman...your own will be no bother..."

Metella let out a laugh. "Something tells me this end of it was the easy part..." She did her best, but that baby would have come out without help anyway.

"You'll have my prayers...but...you're worried?" 

"I am" she admitted. Why wouldn't she be? Horatia had done it twice and she was still terrified for her life. She waved a hand. "And I doubt I'll be welcome back into this temple anytime soon..." she added with a chuckle. "Those priestesses should really bring you some wine at least. Should I go check?"

@Sara