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Quiet in the library


Chevi

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While Calpurnia seemed to busy herself with looking at the scrolls, Alexius busied himself with looking at her. How could he not be more interested in her, than in the books? He knew he probably should take interest, but he couldn't read them and it wasn't because of them he came in this time. It was her. And her fingers traced the shelves and the scrolls and he could only imagine if those fingers traced his skin instead. He shouldn't have offered to come with her here. But he did.

Calpurnia mused about the books, she had such an ability to bring him back to the present moment... "I suppose. Are there books about just... anything?" Last time with Ovinia they'd looked for poetry and now Calpurnia spoke of women's medicine. There were so many things Alexius didn't know, because it had never been of importance to him before. But then, there were things he did know. Like the fact that no matter which direction he looked down this aisle, they were alone. He came closer to her, his hand reaching for her free hand and he spoke with a lower voice, "I know you didn't come in here for me. But... since last time... there's not been a day I didn't think about you." 

@Chevi

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"A lot of things" Calpurnia chuckled at his question. Not everything, clearly and some topics were harder to find than others... but yes, at a library like this one, one was bound to find the thing they were looking for. Whether it was poetry, or women's medicine, or privacy.

Alexius' hand touched hers, and she turned to look at him. She had been wondering for the past few minutes if he'd do something, or if he would show restraint because they were in such a hallowed place. She knew he did not want to get her into trouble. Calpurnia smiled, holding his hand.

"I have been thinking about you too" she replied, lowering her voice to match his. Her eyes searched his. "I am happy we met here by chance."

@Atrice

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She replied to his question about the books, but honestly his mind was elsewhere and when he took note of how alone they were right here, he dared to reach for her hand and spoke what was on his mind. How could he not? When he had the chance... and she looked at him, her fingers wrapping around his, smiling at him. And saying she'd been thinking about him too, which made his heart take a spin. Gods, he just wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her close, bury his face in her neck and kiss every inch of her, like that night.

"Me too." Alexius agreed, his thumb caressing the skin of her hand, because that's all he felt he dared to do right now, in a public place like this, "I just wish we didn't have to hide. You really have been thinking about me?" 

@Chevi

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Just holding hands with Alexius made Calpurnia feel warm. It wasn't lust, not the kind of rush she'd felt when she was alone with him. Rather, it was a sense of being safe in his presence. Being understood. And being wanted. His thumb caressed the back of her hand in soothing circles. It seemed like the entire library was still for a moment.

"I have" she smiled, moving closer to him; she could feel heat radiating off him, and the scent of his skin. "I have been thinking a whole lot about how we could meet again. Alone."

@Atrice

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She confirmed she'd been thinking about him, and then she was the one to move closer to him. She had every opportunity to move away. To end whatever this was. But she didn't. Instead she came closer and he could feel her warmth so close to him. It felt like torture, to not be able to do what he wanted to do! Had it been any other woman... but it wasn't, it was her, because she was special. 

He couldn't help but smile too, when she spoke of meeting again, "Me too." Alexius said, glancing around to make sure they were alone, before reaching for her other hand with his, so that he held both of hers, "I just don't know how. We shouldn't do it again, what we did last time. You mentioned a villa you have?" That was the only good option he could think of, and yet still, there were issues with that...

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They held hands, hidden away in a remote part of the library. Calpurnia had no illusions; she knew they probably were not the first couple to steal a moment here for themselves. Most couples were just younger, then they spoke foolish words or did foolish things. She wasn't. She was cautious. But she also really, really wanted to be with this man.

"Oh I think we should do a lot of what we did last time" she whispered with a smile, feeling a rush of the secrecy they shared. She was close enough she could feel Alexius' breath catching. "Yes, I have a villa. Haven't been there for quite some time. It's not too big, but it is comfortable."

@Atrice

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Alexius chuckled at her words, she was sweet. That wasn't what he meant though, he didn't think they should meet at a hospitia again... but obviously, they should do a lot else of what they did last time, "A lot of that... and maybe more..." Alexius replied, last time had been her first, so she had barely begun. He shouldn't even consider sleeping with her again, but he wanted to. He wanted to be with her. And she told more about her villa. He smiled again.

"I think I'd be comfortable anywhere with you." He said, "As long as it's safe..." With this odd relationship came a lot of longing and a lot of worrying. But he didn't want to stop. He didn't want to turn away and never see her again. Was it even a relationship? It was something. Yet something he couldn't mention to others. Officially, it never happened... "I don't wish to endanger you. Or us." 

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She did not have a plan yet. She knew what she wanted, and she knew Alexius was willing. She trusted him. Calpurnia was good at reading people; as a Vestal everyone was always on their best behavior around her, so she needed to learn to read small signs to really see who she was dealing with. Alexius was a good man. It was not fair that she had to keep him hidden away. He did not want to put her in danger.

"I think, between the two of us, we are smart enough to avoid danger. Or too much risk." she smiled, squeezing his hands. Danger and risk... were two different things entirely. "Except for... maybe right now."

@Atrice

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Alexius definitely knew what he wanted in this case and he was definitely very willing. And she was too. She'd come closer to him. In fact, she was the one taking him down this quiet aisle where they could be alone. He just initiated this conversation. And their hands touching, holding each other without it being too much. Although he wanted too much. Or, he wanted more, at least. Calpurnia said they were smart enough to avoid danger. Alexius wasn't so sure if he was - he was here with her, right now, which was proof that he wasn't very smart at all. But despite that, she wanted him.

And she pointed out how they weren't smart right now, which made him grin again, "You're right. This is not very smart." He said. But the mood between them was light and he wanted more of her. He'd take whatever he could get. Without putting her at risk. Gods this was stupid, but still, maybe that's why it was also kind of exciting... "I'm not always a very smart man. But I know what I want." Alexius said, coming closer to her, letting her one hand go, but only to let his hand trace up her arm. Oh he knew what he wanted very much in this moment. A part of him wanted to say fuck it all and just get it done, and then he'd die for love. Another part of him wasn't that stupid. But maybe stupid enough anyway.

@Chevi

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This was not very smart at all. Calpurnia told herself they'd hear the footsteps of anyone approaching, but really, that was wishful thinking. The whole moment was stolen time, based on the belief that not many people were interested in old medicine scrolls on this particular day.

Alexius noted he was not a very smart man, and Calpurnia chuckled. Oh, he was. He knew what he wanted. His hand traced up her arm and her body reacted to his touch, bringing back a flood of memories. This was very much the opposite of what she'd told herself she needed to do, to find safe plans and more privacy.

"And what do you want?"

@Atrice

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For some reason, they were still alone. For how long had Ovinia and Lucius been alone last time? Alexius had quite the conversation with Lucia while they were gone. Gods, Lucia, he'd almost forgotten about her. Calpurnia was all there was on his mind now. And she was right here, so close to him, he was touching her and he was stupid for doing so. But he wanted to. And he noticed how her body reacted to his simple and soft touch. Imagine how she'd react if it wasn't just simple and soft... 

He looked at her, met her eyes with a burning longing in his own, "How can you even ask? You. I want you." Alexius said. Fuck this was just... what was it? Not smart! Just one kiss though, could he steal that? But if he did, wasn't that just the moment someone would walk down here and see them... yet could he leave today, knowing she'd been so close and he had not felt her lips against his? He'd once promised her he wouldn't do anything to her, that she didn't want him to do... so... she would have to dictate the pace, because he certainly couldn't! "How daring do you feel today?" 

@Chevi

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I want you.

A shiver ran down Calpurnia's spine. She was still not used to sensations like this, her body thinking for its own without waiting for permission. Someone else, with a look, a word, a light touch, having such an effect on her. She needed to keep her head clear. Before things got out of hand.

"How daring do you feel today?" 

Calpurnia smiled at him. She would have never considered herself a daring person. But somehow, she also did not want to play by the rules that were too constraining. She stepped back, towards the corner of the library behind the row of shelves. She doubted she was the first one to discover this particular dimly lit corner. But there was a first time for everything. She pulled Alexius along by the hand, into the partial cover of the shelves.

@Atrice

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At least he was very honest, he said it as it was. Why shouldn't he want to tell her what he wanted anyway? When it was such an easy answer, speaking to the person he wanted. He wanted her, more than he could tell her with words. And he wanted more than just this simple touch. He knew he wouldn't get very far with her, not in the library, but although he wanted all of her, he would have to take what he could get. And how much would she let him get? He asked how daring she felt. And she just smiled and a moment later, she stepped back and pulled him along by the hand, towards a dimly lit corner between the shelves. 

So that's how daring she felt. As soon as he was certain they were out of sight, he used her hold on his hand to pull her closer to him. Kissed her. Slid the other hand around her body, this was more than what he should be doing, but if this was the last thing he did in this life, it better be a good kiss. He felt breathless when he let her go, even if it might not have lasted so long. He wanted more of her, so much more. How did she do this to him? He looked up at her, "I need to see you again..." 

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Alexius followed her lead, as always. He pulled her close and kissed her. Calpurnia swallowed the sound she wanted to make, melting into the kiss. It was all they could do, in a place like this, but she was determined to make the most of it. Being kissed like this, by this man, made the risk worth it. Her feee hand rested on his chest as he pulled back. They both had to catch their breath.

"You will. See me again" she promised with a smile, raising her hand to trace it along his jaw. "We just need to find a way... but I am not giving up on this. I spent too much time serving the gods and the empire to not get to do what I want."

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Of course he followed her lead. But only to let her follow his lead moments after, since they both knew why they came here. She melted into his kiss, as if she couldn't do anything else and he felt her hand on his chest. Gods he wanted to feel her hand against his skin, he wanted to feel her skin against his, he wanted to run his hands through her hair and over her body. It had never been difficult to arouse Alexius and it wasn't in this case either. They were both almost breathless when their lips parted ways and after he'd spoken his mind about his need to see her again, he felt he was almost trembling. She promised he'd see her again and they would find a way.

"You still surprise me." He replied with a grin, "With all your service to the gods and the empire... you know how wrong this is... but you will not give up." Alexius moved his hand up to hers on his jaw and took hers to kiss it, "I like such surprises. You. I like you." He said, looking up at her again. He wanted more kisses, more touches. Yet he feared he'd want even more after that. That he would be unable to stop himself. And they were in a library. Even in a quiet corner like this, someone could find them any moment. Fuck... he kissed the palm of her hand again, lacking something to do, something better, like walking away as he should. And wouldn't do.

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"You surprised me first" Calpurnia smiled. First, by running into a bolt of fabric, and then, by not being the kind of man she'd expected to meet running into a bolt of fabric. Alexius was... different than what she'd expected. In a good way. And a surprise, turning her world upside down, and making her break rules she'd never thought of breaking before. He was someone who would be unfairly judged by her family, her people.

"I like you too" she chuckled as he kissed her hand. She rested her forehead against his - she could do it, the height difference was not that great. "And I don't think this is wrong. I think the rules are wrong. I'm not ashamed of any of this, Alexius. I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

@Atrice

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Gods she was sweet. He chuckled at her comment about him surprising her first, he knew what she meant. He had not meant to surprise her at that time, but he'd been trying to catch that pickpocket and then... he met her. Apparently trying to do good deeds could lead to bad things too, even if those bad things felt so right. Like kissing her and touching her. She leaned her forehead against his and he closed his eyes, thinking about how lovely it was just to be near her. It had never been like this with Achillia. Nor with Oriana. With Achillia, they'd both been slaves. They had no future. With Oriana, she was younger and she wanted more in life and he couldn't give her that. No matter how deep their feelings were for each other, he would never be enough for her. He wouldn't ever be enough for Calpurnia either, he still did not feel he was worthy, but there she was, next to him, telling him it wasn't wrong. But the rules were. And she was not ashamed.

He opened his eyes with a small sigh, "I don't want anyone to get hurt either." He said, looking at her again, "I suppose... that's what I fear the most... what would happen if anyone knew." Alexius said. He felt he could be honest with her about that. What he felt and what he feared. He'd always hated the rules of Rome. He'd gotten used to them now, even thought he could be a Roman, but it would seem that there was still a long way to go. With another small breath of air he kissed her cheek softly. At least now they were talking he wasn't so aroused anymore, so hungry for her. He easily could be, but this was better. Safer... "Do you want to go back into the light? If anyone saw us..." Not that he wanted to leave this place and stop holding her, stop kissing her. But he just told her his fears. And they were very real.

@Chevi

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"I know" Calpurnia sighed. She was not a Vestal anymore, so the worst of the worst was not a possibility... but Aulus would still throw a mighty fit if he found out, and Roman society would shun her for the rest of her life. She didn't think her brother would actually try to harm the man she chose as her lover... but he might just try to get rid of him some other way.

"Do you want to go back into the light? If anyone saw us..." 

"Yes. Let's go find those books I need" Calpurnia nodded, but she didn't pull away yet. Instead, she leaned in to kiss him one more time. Who knew when they would next get the chance?

@Atrice

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Alexius was quite sure that a powerful man like her brother, an ex-consul of Rome, would do the worst to the man who deflowered his sister, even though she was his equal in the deed, they were in it together. So he just really didn't want anyone to know, which was why kissing her in the library was so insanely stupid, but he wanted her so badly, to taste her and to touch her and to feel her and just to be near her. As close as two people could be. She sighed, she understood what he meant. And Alexius attempted to be wise and actually suggested leaving this dimly lit corner and return to the light, so they wouldn't be caught. The more moments they stole alone together, the greater the risk of being caught.

She agreed, but instead of pulling away, she leaned in for another kiss. Maybe it was a reflex, instinct... but when a woman initiated a kiss from him, how could he pull back and deny her? He couldn't. Alexius returned it, pulling her close again, breathing into the kiss, trying to suppress a small sound of pleasure. He felt himself tremble against her again, as if it was too much for him. He broke the kiss, but kept his lips close to hers, "Fuck, Calpurnia, I want you... so much..." He said, his lips hovering just over hers. He cursed himself within, over and over again, told himself to pull back, leave her, just walk away and don't do anything stupid. But he didn't. He couldn't. She was still dictating the pace here.

@Chevi

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Calpurnia doubted she'd ever grow used to how Alexius reacted to her touch. Or her kiss. She smiled against his lips, feeling the same kind of desire. She wished thing had been easier. She'd take him home right now if the could. Instead she pulled back, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I know. Soon. I promise." She stepped away, giving him a moment to catch his breath, and smoothing down her palla. When they walked out from among the shelves, they needed to look respectable. And they better be carrying some books.

@Atrice

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Think that he was a grown man with a son, but near Calpurnia he was like butter, melting against her lips and her body and he felt her smile. He should not be with her, he was not enough for her, not what she deserved. Was she even used to being around men like him, men who could barely control their own desires and who cursed as freely as he did? But she didn't seem to care. Now she pulled back and kissed his cheek, promising he'd have her soon. Alexius felt her pull away entirely and while she smoothed down her palla, Alexius ran both hands through his hair. Not that it was in a disarray or something, but he was. Then she led the way away from their secret little corner and he followed a few moments later.

Soon, she said. She promised. But when was that? This time, they had not even planned on meeting. Yet here they were. And now he had to act all kinds of proper like a guard instead of like a man who wanted a woman so badly, that he could barely think when he was close to her. He would have to figure out what to do. Had to talk to someone. Lucius maybe. But he'd have to be very careful about it. He didn't say much as he continued to follow her, helping her when she asked for it. Brushing his fingers over hers, when he had the chance. Meeting her eyes, stealing glances. That's all he could do when other eyes were upon them. But he'd take what he could get, as long as he was near her.

@Chevi

Edited by Atrice
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