Winter Storm

[Sara]

November, 76AD - a few days after Curbside Patrol

In the five months that she'd been seeing Gaius Vipsanius Roscius, they must have visited every major tourist attraction in Rome. Barring the dinner at his domus in June, they'd gone to the Mausoleum of Augustus in August, a couple of temples in September, the Gardens of Maecenas in October and now here they were - or here she was waiting for him - on a blustery day in November, in the Gardens of Sallust. She wrapped her palla around herself to try and preserve some warmth and really wish she'd traded the idea of the gardens for one of the temples. At least they had fire. She supposed it was her own fault for dressing for fashion rather than practicality, but such was the lot of women on the marriage market and her mother had politely informed her that no man wanted to be seen with a woman dressed in a cloak that looked like a slave. 

Not that she particularly wanted to come today. Duty told her she had to although the prospect of making idle conversation with a man who had sanctioned his own brother into the most foolhardy endeavour, was less than thrilling. She was so cross and she didn't know why. She didn't know why it bothered her that Lucius had decided to forgo his family - beyond that he was abjectly rude to her that evening, or why she was so irritated that Gaius should let him. It wasn't her family - yet - and still it bothered her deeply in a way she couldn't shake off. She even looked aggrieved, jaw grinding together, mouth pressed into a thin line and eyes narrowed as she kept a lookout for him in one of the many shaded porticos that littered the garden. When she did spot him, she only made a vague gesture of greeting - inclining her head - and offered a tight smile, "Senator Roscius." 

 

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[Sharpie]

Today's meeting with Ovinia Camilla was in the Gardens of Sallust - not the best proposition in November, but hardly the worst, if one dressed for the chill.

Things were progressing relatively well between them, and it was with a little surprise that he registered the chill in her voice, which rivalled that of the November wind that whipped at his cloak. She looked rather less pleased to see him than she had the very first time, at that incredibly awkward dinner.

"Ovinia Camilla, lovely to see you again. I hope your day has been a pleasant one so far?" He stepped into the portico out of the worst of the wind.

Her expression certainly did not look as though it had been a pleasant day. She looked rather as if she had bitten into an orange to discover that it was in fact a lemon and he could not think why.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

"It's been fine." She replied, striving not to sound terse although she wasn't sure she was overwhelmingly successful. She plastered on a thin smile and inclined her head; "And yours?" Her slave cleared his throat behind her and Ovinia wrapped the tighter palla about herself, feeling an awkwardness settle between the group in a way it hadn't before. 

Deciding to try and break it up, she gestured to the winding path that led further into the gardens; "A walk?" It would get her out of earshot of her slave who - whilst good at his job as an escort - wasn't a particularly fast walker. "I've been here so many times but never really in the winter. I remember why now." She was trying to make a joke, cheer herself up but it was falling flat. She couldn't get over the irritation that rolled in waves when she glanced his way and strove to keep her gaze forward. "It's been a few weeks...how have you been? Any exciting news?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"Gardens in the winter are rather cold - will you be warm enough?" She was wearing much thinner clothing than his, after all.

Things felt a little awkward between them for some reason - had she heard about Lucius? He should tell her about Lucius, she knew his brother, though maybe not well. She'd be bound to hear it eventually, anyway, best to hear it from him first. And if she already knew about it, she'd wonder why he hadn't told her and whether she could trust him.

Why was life so complicated when it really didn't need to be!

"I suppose you'll warm up a bit once you're moving," he said. "If not, we can find somewhere to shelter, if you need to."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia shot him a curious look, brow arched, gaze assessing. "I'll be fine, thank you." That was a lie - her fingers were already tingling in the cold and she cursed herself for listening to her mother and was already dreaming of a long, languid soak in a warm bath. But there were more pressing things to deal with now, including the fact he utterly avoided her question. 

"So no news..." She summarised as they began their walk around the gardens. She kept a brisk pace rather than the gentle roaming they had on their previous excursions. "I have news..." she started and kept her dark gaze ahead as the wind whipped up the edge of her palla around her ankles, making the small gold disks on one edge flutter musically in the breeze. "I went to a party, Pontia Vesipillia's engagement party actually. It was dull, as expected." She didn't like Pontia and it only aggrieved her more that she'd had to celebrate her frankly outrageously good match, "But on the way back would you believe what I saw?" she gave him an opening, to see if he'd bite.

 

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[Sharpie]

"Well, I never said I didn't have news, but it's about Lucius, so it'll keep for a moment." She had set a rather brisk pace - unsurprising, really, if she was that cold. "What did you see - oh no, don't tell me you saw Lucius doing something he shouldn't have been doing."

Oh, Hades - had she seen Lucius that day, when he'd returned home smelling of smoke with a hole (probably more than one) charred into his tunic, to announce that he wanted to join the vigiles?

He had started going grey since his return from the Legions and would happily blame every single grey hair on his incorrigible brother!

 

@Sara

[Sara]

"I did see your brother, good guess." She shot him a look that spoke volumes. At least he seemed to be on the precipice of admitting it, although not quick enough for her tastes. It was major news although mercifully she had kept it from her fathers desk for now. 

"My litter was stopped on the way home by a vigiles unit. Lucius was there, proudly telling me how he was to be adopted and that he was joining the vigiles and that he was - it seemed - getting some work experience." She kept walking and flicked her gaze back to the front, staring down the horizon with a sharp inhale of annoyance, "He was quite complimentary about you actually - explained how hard you were working to find him an adoptive family...of course, that was before he said that he didn't care if you disowned him publicly, that this was more important." She shook her head, revelling again in her disbelief. 

"Is that about it, for your news?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"That's.... yes. That's my news. He wants desperately to do something to help people, won't consider the cursus honorum as he should and decided he wants to be vigiles praefectus. Which is an equite position, and the only way he can do that is to become an equite by adoption into an equite family. Lucius something something Roscianus, he'll be."

He had managed his recital in a flat tone and stopped walking. "It's all true. I don't know what else to say."

She hadn't looked happy when she had greeted him.

"Has your father...?"

He wasn't quite sure how to finish the question. Had she been told that any arrangement between them was off? He supposed that was the main question, but didn't want to outright ask it and sound selfish.

"I suppose it was a shock to see him like that," he managed. If he had had any inkling at all, he would have banned Lucius from doing anything of the sort until everything had been arranged.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She managed to keep her expression neutral - through great, sustained effort - as he gave his summation of the situation. For some, inexplicable reason, she hoped it had been a misunderstanding. Evidently it wasn't, and evidently the man stood next to her had endorsed it. 

He stopped walking and she carried on a few paces before she stopped herself, taking a steadying breath. She spun around on her heel and kept him in a steady gaze. "My father doesn't know. I've kept it to myself." But for how long it would remain a secret whilst Lucius was out and about in the streets was anybody's guess. "And yes." Her tone was clipped, "A shock is right. I suppose what's more of a shock is that you've endorsed it." She shook her head, a look of desperate confusion in her eyes. "He's throwing his life away, his family away, and you are fine with this?" Was that the sort of man she wanted to marry? She rationalised it to herself that this was sensible, that it was normal to be this irritated - she might be married into this mess. That didn't quite explain why she was so annoyed and upset by it though. 

 

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[Sharpie]

She hadn't told her father. Well, that was something, for now.

He started walking again. "He came home a few weeks ago, to tell me that he'd passed an insula on fire and the vigiles weren't trying to rescue anyone inside - well, most of the vigiles in attendance weren't. But there was one, I believe a centurion or whatever ranks they have, who went in with Lucius - oh yes, my brother risked his own life - to save a family. I've never seen Lucius so... animated about anything as he was when he was telling me all this. He wants to change the system somehow, wants to improve things. He's never shown the slightest interest in politics or the army but this... I don't have the heart to stand in his way over this."

Why it mattered to Ovinia was something Gaius couldn't fathom - she wasn't thinking about marrying Lucius, was she, and it seemed to matter in a deeper way than maybe ruining plans for her marriage to Gaius.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia listened, relieved to start walking again as the wind whipped up around them. It sounded like the Lucius she had briefly known - and she couldn't deny she was...impressed by the courage it must have shown to run into a burning building. But then she glanced across at Gaius and supposed that during his time in Britannia he must have faced his own fair share of harrowing sights and situations, all of which were appropriate for his rank and station. 

"Even if it means you sacrifice for it?" She glanced at him with a hard stare, "What of your career? I'm not educated in politics, I'm just a woman, but I can't imagine this will stand your prospects in great stead, no? Not to mention what my father will think." She shook her head, a frown sitting on her forehead. Her father was a severe man, a stickler for propriety and rules and what he'd think of a prospective match for his only daughter casting her lot in with a man like Gaius, she knew full well. It wouldn't be good. 

"I've been raised to think the authority of the paterfamilias is the law, Gaius. You could have said no." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"Yes, I could have said no," Gaius allowed. "And crushed my brother completely - despite everything, I do love him. He said he was picking apples when he met you. The day you came to dinner, he was helping the slaves prepare the food. He came back home once with a jar of olives after minding someone's stall for them in the marketplace. If it isn't this, I don't know what it will be - and the equites are as honourable as any patrician. It wouldn't be the first time a patrician got himself adopted into a lower-ranking family - Clodius Pulcher did it so that he could become a people's tribune."

Which wasn't the same thing at all.

"It turns out that I would do rather a lot to see my brother truly happy," he said. Lucius would probably never realise quite how much.

"I'm still going to run for Aedile next year, just because my brother's ambition has taken a peculiar turn doesn't mean that mine has," he added, trying to figure out Ovinia's suddenly brittle mood.

 

@Sara

Edited November 27, 2021 by Sharpie

[Sara]

Ovinia ground her jaw for a moment, relieved they had the distraction of walking so at least her mood could be shielded a little. It was plain that they had different priorities - perhaps more-so than most men and women. Gaius had shouldered the burden of his family for years, whilst Ovinia had merely lived under the authoritarian rule of her own paterfamilias. "I didn't mean to imply that you didn't love him." She commented on a sigh, feeling a wash of guilt run off of her. "And I'm also aware it's been done before." But much as Gaius himself thought, it wasn't the same thing at all. 

She hugged an arm around herself - ostensibly to stop her palla flying away, but more for comfort. "I understand the reasons you've done it." She glanced sideways at him, "Although I'm not sure I agree with them." And that was the crux of it. Lucius could have been so much more than the leader of a band of well-funded slaves and freedmen, known more for their own crimes than preventing others, and Gaius could have done so much more had he not have to carry the burden and stain of his brothers selfish choice on his shoulders. Shaking her head so her hair fell over her shoulder, she let out a soft sigh. "You are too good to be his brother." She offered him a half-smile, "It's good you don't see the world with such idealism. I told him not everybody can have the luxury of doing whatever they want."

 

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[Sharpie]

"My brother is an idealist," Gaius said, and drew Ovinia into the shelter of another portico, to be out of the worst of the wind. "He wants to reform the vigiles - I'm not sure what he has in mind, precisely, but he wants to try to do something so that they're known for helping people and not just standing by, for preventing crimes and catching criminals - I don't know. He wants the moon, I think."

He smiled at her. "And what do you want, Ovinia Camilla? What would you do, if you could?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She stepped into a portico, trying to warm her hands up by wringing them but without a great amount of success. At least they were out of the worst of the wind now, even if it looked like a storm was rolling in across the city. It would be a long litter ride home in the rain, if it was. 

She chuckled, managing a smile for the first  time this conversation but it was slightly incredulous in nature. "Would you believe you're the third man to have asked me that?" Lucius, Marcus Junius Silanus and now Gaius had all asked variations of the same thing. It was baffling. Her smile relaxed slightly, but it was still bemused. At least she was being  honest with Gaius now, now the small talk was well and truly dispensed with - all thanks to his brother. "And I don't know why," She shook her head, "I'm happy with my life as it is. I want to marry well and have a big family with lots of children, and travel with my husband if he is posted abroad and if not then spend my time managing my home here." She gave him a frown. "I...don't know if I'm unimaginative but I don't understand the need or the draw for...more than that. Or perhaps it's just because I'm a woman, and my ambitions are therefore more...dull than yours or others who have asked me." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"Well, that's a genuine answer to my question. A good answer - not all answers have to encompass grand ambitions and sweeping reforms or anything, after all. There's no need for anything more than that."

Now he would just have to convince her father (and probably the rest of the Senate) that Lucius' choice was an honourable one and he had not taken leave of his senses or done his best to drag the Vipsanii-Roscii name into the mud. Done right, with a properly prepared speech, he might manage that, as he had hinted at to Longinus the other day.

It was possible.

"Ovinia, if I could make a case for your father that Lucius has in fact done something honourable, would you be happy to marry me? Because apart from Lucius' idiocy, there's nothing against it otherwise, and I can give you all that, and more."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia was confused. Why did she feel so...disappointed? She'd been honest; she wanted to be a mother to a brood of children, she wanted the honour of a decent, upstanding, ambitious husband and she wanted to mind her home. That had always been the plan, that had always been her dream - so why did it now feel hollow?

His brother had asked her much the same question the first time they had met and had merely responded with an amused 'uh-huh', as if there was so much more she could be doing. Then of course there had been the eruption when she'd found him smothered in ash and dirt, clearing out the insula. Her outburst played in her mind: Like we brush over the fact that you act as if we patricians are so dull and dreary and beneath you when we're not the ones living in a daydream. People...don't get to do whatever the hell they want. Well...that's not true. You do, don't you? His snapped retort was burned into her recent memories: Well it's not my fault you don't!

Did she want this? That was the crux of it and that was the seed Lucius had planted in her mind, whether he'd meant to or not. It was cruel and unfair of him to float the idea that there could be something else out there for her, that she could be more and do more when all of her life she believed there wasn't. It was even crueler that his brother didn't agree with that estimation; There's no need for anything more than that. Her head felt like it was filled with a maelstrom and inside it she cursed the day Lucius Vipsanius Roscius was born; he'd thrown her into disarray, when what she'd always wanted was standing right in front of her. She'd only met him a handful of times and it was intolerable that he'd gotten so far under her skin.

She swallowed deeply, realising she'd been silent in contemplation for some time. "I don't know." was the honest answer which was accompanied by the shake of her head. "It feels like I'm trying to convince myself of something even when I've always thought that's what I wanted...if that makes any sense at all." Which it probably didn't, because he had none of the context of his brother utterly ruining everything. Besides that, practically, if she did want something else there was the undeniable fact that there was nothing else out there for her. She was a patrician woman; she was born and bred to have children and be in her husbands shadow. That was it - that was all there was. So why did it now feel so difficult to commit? "You're a good man." she said after a deep exhale, glancing her eyes skyward before bringing them down, an almost sad smile settling on her lips. "A witless one, whose heart had guided you down a foolish path with your brother, but a good man nonetheless." She chuckled, "Perhaps you deserve somebody better than me. Or at least somebody less indecisive." 

 

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[Sharpie]

Gaius blinked, trying to work out what Ovinia had actually said. "Was that a no, or a maybe, or a not right now?" he asked.

He could overlook the insult, whether intended or not; she seemed uncertain of herself and uncertain what she meant. In the meanwhile, she looked half frozen and he reached to take her hands, gently, to chafe some life and feeling back into them.

"This is a very bad time and place for all this, I think - you're practically blue with the cold. We are going to head back to where we left our slaves and I am going to send my man for your litter, and you are going to go home, sit by a nice hot brazier with a nice hot cup of wine and thaw out, and we can meet another time, somewhere indoors maybe, or at least a sight warmer, and try to have this conversation in a better frame of mind. Your father isn't going to thank me for returning you frozen to death regardless of what you decide, after all."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Was it a no, maybe or a not right now? She honestly had no idea and blushed, feeling overwhelming embarrassment. He was trying not  to act insulted, which he had really every right to be. Men like Gaius Vipsanius Roscius weren't used to hearing indecision or denials, she imagined, much like her father and brothers. He was a member of the ruling class of the most civilised empire, and a paterfamilias. 

Before she had time to answer his hands were on hers and she blinked in surprise. She opened her mouth to speak but he was already making plans for her, in the thoughtful way she might imagine very few men would. Maybe he was doing it to impress her - unfortunately it had the opposite effect. She chuckled and exhaled briefly, withdrawing her hands. "You see? A good man." Too good for somebody like her, who was confoundingly confused because of a stupid, irritating little man that happened to be his brother. "But it's not a no." She affirmed as she stepped out of the portico and gasped in the wind. "Something between a maybe and a not right now." She flicked her eyes sideways to him, "If you can't wait for me to make a decision, I'd understand you know." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"I'll take the not right now," Gaius replied. "I mean, it's freezing, you really should have dressed a bit warmer. Not that I don't like what you're wearing, it just... doesn't go with the somewhat blue complexion you have right now." He had turned them back towards where they had left their slaves.

"I really do think the very best thing you should do right now is go home and warm up," he added. "My slave will go for your litter - please tell me you didn't walk here in this weather?"

He had no idea why she might turn him down; if it was purely about his brother's actions, well, Lucius would soon no longer be related to him in the eyes of the law, and it was hardly dishonourable to be an equite. If Lucius had decided to throw it all in and become a gladiator or actor, with all the associated infamia of those trades, he'd understand it a bit better. Maybe.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Ovinia wanted to protest that the weather had nothing to do with her indecision, and that women - even slight, young women - weren't so easily confused and disorientated by the cold but she bit her tongue. He managed a clumsy compliment and she looked down at her clothes. At least he'd recognised they were fashionable...if entirely impractical. She nonetheless dutifully followed him as they turned them back towards their waiting slave. She could see her body slave's curious expression even from fifty paces off. 

"No, I took a litter, it's waiting at the north entrance. Thank you." She offered to him, grateful he'd have the foresight to send his slave rather than her own. He was clearly pondering something as they walked back towards the slaves, her having to lengthen her stride and take two steps for each of his, despite her height. It really was freezing. "I'm sorry if I'm a disappointment to you." She said as they drew near, but still out of earshot of the slaves and she slowed to a stop. "I meant it when I said you're a good man Gaius." and that hopefully, if this doesn't work out, you'll find your next potential bride less mind-boggling. 

 

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[Sharpie]

"A disappointment?!" He turned to look at her, trying not to gape. "mecastor, no, don't think that." He managed a smile despite the bitter wind. "Probably any other girl would have done the same when she heard about Lucius. We'll just have to see how all that turns out - and it isn't as though the position of an equite isn't honourable." There was a pecuniary requirement for that position as much as for the rank of senator, it was just less. A lot less.

He stopped when she did, still a few yards away from their slaves. "I don't understand why he wants to, either, but it's his mistake to make, really - he won't ever be happy otherwise." He met her eyes. "I hope that whatever you decide, whenever you make that decision, that you will be happy, Ovinia Camilla."

He wondered, briefly, if he should try to find a wife from within his own household - freeing a slave to marry her could hardly cause a bigger furore than his brother had managed to stir up. On the other hand, that really would see the rumours begin to fly about the Roscius brothers!

 

@Sara

 

[Sara]

Ovinia bit her lip and felt herself still, resolute in the fact that - judging by his reaction - he really was far too good for somebody like her. Most men wouldn't be patient, she was sure of it. Then again - her father didn't know what had happened, so perhaps he was merely resigned to the fact that it was almost as if it was out of their hands.

Out of the corner of her eye she spied her slave scurrying across the grass to meet them, frown creasing her brow as she took in the tremble of Ovinia's fingers and her wind-flushed cheeks. She'd be in for a talking too later, she was sure. "Thank you, Gaius Vipsanius Roscius." She said with an exhale as her slave skidded to a stop at her side. "We should go to the litter, no need to send your slave." She glanced at Gaius. She needed to get out of here. She'd entered the gardens flustered and angry and upset and now was left feeling little more than dejected and...confused. It wasn't comfortable and she needed to leave. 

"I'll send a note. When my father makes his decision." And when I make mine. 

 

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