Two can take on the world

[Sharpie]

Aulus had dismissed Felix and Callista and spent a little while considering the situation, turning options over in his head, before coming to a decision. Gods knew whether it would be the right one or not, but it was one for better or worse. He opened the tablet up again, memorised the list of names that it held, and calmly erased the list with the blunt end of the stylus before standing.

He had been married for over a decade. He and Horatia had faced trials and troubles of all kinds, separately and together, and weathered them. Yet he could only recall once when Horatia had had that look on her face - the night he had taken Felix and slipped out into the madness ruling the streets of Rome, to try to get out of the city, leaving her with a young child who'd barely taken his first steps, and another growing inside her. They had not known that last then, but the knowledge or lack of it would have made no difference to what Aulus had needed to do.

His wife would be in the garden - it was her safe space in the house when she needed peace, calmness and to be alone.

He found her, sitting on the marble bench in the exedra overlooking the garden, sitting very still, her hands folded in her lap, and with a look on her face that tore at his heart.

"Horatia."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia blinked up but managed to mask that she was peeved to be disturbed. She oftentimes sought solace in this place and enjoyed being alone with her thoughts. Not to mention the fact that she most certainly didn't wish to see the person she had impacted most with her foolish words and conversation. Still, she masked said thoughts and studied his face with a neutral expression on her own. She didn't wish to ask him to leave an area of his own house, much as she might like him to go. 

"Titus understands he is not to go out, and didn't ask for a reason as to why. Calpurnia was more concerned but I said it was because she's been unwell, if she asks." Which she likely would. She spoke in a composed tone, belying nothing of the upset she felt. She brushed out invisible lines in her tunica, unwilling to look at him. "I've also instructed the slaves not to take them out, should the children try and get around your instruction." She doubted they would, but they were teenagers and teenagers did foolish things. 

She blinked up at him, and in a business-like tone asked gently; "Was there anything else I've missed?" Better to speak in practicalities rather than of the situation - he'd made his decision undoubtedly, and she was in no mood to replay what she'd done (even if, logically, she hadn't done anything!) over again.

 

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[Sharpie]

"Thank you," Aulus said simply. He paused for a moment before joining her on the bench, reaching to take her hand in his. "I don't think you've forgotten anything."

There was another pause before he continued quietly, "I'm sure it's pointless to tell you not to worry about all this, so I won't. But... We'll get through this, somehow. Together."

He shifted from holding her hand until his arm was around her, pulling her close to him. "I shall offer prayers at the lararium tonight, I think, ask the lares for their protection over the household. It couldn't hurt, after all."

He fell silent again, looking out at the peaceful garden, his wife tucked into his side. He would invoke the genius of the house, too, the guardian spirit of the Calpurnia gens who watched over the family itself - it was not a thing for the major gods of the pantheon, but the guardian spirits of this household and this family.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She would feel stiff to him, in his arms as she didn't relax or sink into his side. She felt too on edge, and far too foolish to be relaxed - even with her husband. She nodded mutely and added; "That is a good idea." To his suggestion of prayers to the lares. She'd make her own later, or perhaps tomorrow. No need to bombard them with pleas and rile them. 

She sighed as they sat there. From a distance, it might look peaceful - the picture of contentment - but Horatia felt anything but. She shook her head and reverted back to his words; "I am not worried, I know you will deal with it." She said neutrally. She was worried, but what use was there in bothering Aulus with her flustering? "I just feel foolish." She admitted, with guilt in her voice. She didn't dare to look up at him. She knew her husband well, they'd been wed for a decade now, but she'd never seen him disappointed in her. Logic told her he wouldn't be, but nonetheless she didn't dare glance up just in case he was. "I shouldn't have spoken to him at all." She sighed and went back to smoothing out the invisible creases in the plain tunica she was wearing. "I'm sorry." She swallowed the lump in her throat. 

 

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[Sharpie]

"It was a harmless conversation - I am not about to keep you shut up in the house, only seeing immediate family and the slaves. If he were not the sort of person that he is, it would have been nothing but a harmless conversation and you would have forgotten about it already. We will survive this, cara mea."

She was still rigid beside him, and he breathed out a little, a not-quite sigh. He had an idea of what to do next, and ideas of what to do after that, supposing his first plan didn't succeed (he would be surprised if it did, but was prepared to try it anyway - why rush into escalating something that didn't need to escalate, after all?)

He did not like the fact that she was blaming herself for bringing this about because she'd talked to the man - how in the world had she been supposed to know what would come about due to that one conversation? A conversation, moreover, brought about because the litter bearers were not where they should have been, and she had sprained her ankle. He should do something about the litter bearers not being where they should have been, but of course that was several days ago now.

"Should I send a girl to give you a massage before you go to bed?" he asked quietly, and then added, "I would spend the night with you, if you will - not doing anything, just to give you company." He thought she might appreciate that, at least.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She nodded at his words, and supposed they were right but whether she was reading too much into it and being paranoid, or was actually being perceptive, she nonetheless noted that he did not accept her apology. She twisted her betrothal ring around her finger silently as they sat there. Her husband was easy enough to read, usually, at least for her, but when she did spare a glance up at him she couldn't tell what he was thinking. 

His suggestion came out of the blue for her and she shook her head with a little sigh, "No, no. I was going to stay and read for a little while." Although the scroll was about as interesting as watching paint dry. His second request surprised her more than the first and she looked up from her ring with wariness in her eyes. "I would rather be alone, if that's...alright?" She said neutrally and then reverted to playing with her jewellery. Quietly she shook her head, moving to take his hand in hers. "I'm not feeling in the most sociable of moods, sorry." She glanced up at him with a wry but wavering smile. 

Was it any wonder she didn't feel up to curling up in bed with her husband? She was a woman who thrived, needed order and perfection in her life. Not so much as a hair pin was out of place in her room, and so to have her life thrust left and upwards by a Praetorian had thrown her. Equally damaging was the fact that - regardless of his words - she still felt the weight of blame on her shoulders. She had striven in her life to be the perfect matron, the best wife, the best mother, even when others called her dull or uninteresting because she valued tradition, but now it seemed to be going up in smoke because of a conversation she'd had. 

 

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[Sharpie]

"That's all right," Aulus said. "I wish you didn't feel the need to blame yourself, my dove. I forgive you, not that it's your fault."

He rubbed her shoulder with his thumb. "I'll leave you alone, then, if you need that. If you want anything, I'll be... Well, I'll probably be in the tablinum, or the atrium."

He got to his feet and paused, bending to kiss the top of Horatia's head before turning to head to the atrium, giving quiet orders that the mistress was not be disturbed.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

It was well into the evening, almost night by the time Horatia retreated out from her perch in the garden. No slaves had disturbed her, nor had Calpurnia or Titus (whether that was due to an unheard instruction, or just teenagers being teenagers, she wasn't sure). The oil lamps that lit the peristyle flickered as she passed by them. She hovered at the door to her own rooms, quite alone and feeling more melancholy than she had done in years - not since Aulus' absence, she supposed. 

The shame of what she'd inadvertently done ate at her, even if it shouldn't, and her hand hovered to open the door to her cubiculum. As with most married couples of their rank, she and Aulus kept separate rooms - although could often be found in each others. Her hand withdrew from her door and she lightly padded the few feet down the corridor to her husbands. She knocked gently and waited for him to respond. He might well be asleep, she supposed, but she heard a noise from the other side of the door and pushed it open, slipping in until she was at the foot of his bed. 

She didn't know what to say, and so wordlessly glanced at him, apologies in her eyes before slipping gently into bed next to him; still fully dressed in the plain tunica and her hair done up, but just craving his intimacy and his comfort. She had tried to be alone and it hadn't helped; as usual Aulus was right and she needed him right now.

 

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[Sharpie]

Aulus had had a long day and didn't need to extend it into the night; he had, as usual, got up with the sun and would do so tomorrow, too. There was nothing more that he could do today, other than ensuring that all the doors to the house were securely barred, and so he turned to bed. 

He had not been in bed for long when he registered a knock at the door in the pattern used between Horatia and himself. His wife had obviously found that she did need company tonight, so he pushed himself up onto his elbow and called for her to come in. 

She came in, looking downcast, and merely kicked off her indoor sandals before sliding in beside him, just as she was, in the same tunica she had worn all day and with her hair still up. 

He put his arms around her, content just to hold her - all night if she needed it. He said nothing, recognising that she still felt fragile. If she wanted to talk, he would listen without judging or interrupting her.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She allowed herself, close to his chest, for a long few minutes - simply enjoying the feeling of being safe. She had always thought of herself as a fairly self-sufficient person, which in some respects she was, but in others she found she needed or craved the support of others. It was why she was relieved her husband or more exuberant friends came to social events with her, so she could cast off from their energy; it's why she enjoyed her own company but didn't enjoy the business of Rome's streets. She sighed as her thoughts drifted in the dim lights of the room. 

When she did speak, it was in a soft voice but in a more direct way than she usually spoke. "I know you said it wasn't my fault," She swallowed, "But if you are angry or...disappointed I would rather you tell me." She twisted so she was curled up against his chest and peering up at him. "I can't help but feel it is, and if something happens to you or your career, let alone Titus and Calpurnia or the slaves..." She sighed and shook her head, and moved a hand to lay against his chest. "I would know what you're thinking, if you're not too tired, or if you'll humour me." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"I am not angry," Aulus said, and breathed out. "No, that is not true. I am not angry at you, columbīna mea. I am angry at the man who has threatened us, and who has made you feel this way." 

He reached to begin pulling the pins from her hair. "If you're going to stay here tonight, you won't want to sleep with these in," he said. "Roma Dea! You could stab someone with one of these! Maybe not as effective as a gladius, but he would know about it." 

He left them on the night stand beside the bed and put his arm around her again. "I have been invited to speak with the Augustus in the next few days - privately. The message arrived yesterday. So, there is an opportunity to tell him directly of this. I am in two minds whether you and the children would be safer here or at Baiae. And I am undecided about Callista and using that avenue. I will do nothing without your permission, though, for she is your girl, not my slave." 

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She felt relief wash over her like a wave after a storm and sighed. She did not believe him, not one hundred percent yet, but she felt soothed. Even more so as he gently began extracting the hairpins which held up the bright red twists and plaits she had. As he extracted the last one, she run her fingers through the braids until her hair was completely free and falling about her shoulders. She sunk into his arm wordlessly. 

"I don't wish to go to Baiae." She interjected as he mentioned it, but then let him finish. "I don't think it would be safer, it's not a short trip there," and the roads have haunted me ever since that first journey, "And If we're already being followed I'm not sure us going will make much of a difference." If anything, to her, it would increase the risk but that went unsaid. The question about Callista was interesting though and she mulled it over in her mind. "I'll leave it to you. It just," She sighed and ran her fingers over his arm, "Worries me, I suppose. I don't know what he said to her to make her break but I just can't help wonder, had Felix not been there to urge her, would she have told us?" She cast a glance up at him. The suggestion that the girl might have betrayed the family and it was only the intervention of Aulus' own body slave that stopped it was troublesome to say the least. 

She felt some of the tension ease from her body. She had always been a planner by nature, and talking about things she could control; going to Baiae, Callista...it soothed her. She sunk deeper into his arms. 

 

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[Sharpie]

"All right, then, you'll stay here." She was right, it was not a short trip - but it was too short to completely guarantee their safety, which was why he hadn't completely made up his mind. Baiae was still in Italia and thus still accessible to the Praetorian Prefect, who need not even go himself. Were Aulus to receive a posting elsewhere in the Empire as Governor, he would breathe much more easily - but that would defer his consulship for potentially years, and it was highly unlikely (although technically it was possible) that he would be given a governorship with proconsular powers before he'd served as consul.

"I can guess what she was told," he said dryly, though he would not detail it - he had no wish for his wife to have nightmares, after all. "I will allow that it is quite possible she agreed to help him because he thoroughly scared her, and she could not think of any other way out in the moment." Felix had placed a crucifixion nail on his desk and said that Titus Sabinus had given it to Callista, which meant that Aulus was utterly certain of one of the threats employed, though it would have been one aimed specifically at the slaves.

"I will talk to her tomorrow, if you have no objections. She will hopefully be a little calmer then and more able to describe what was said. How long have you had her?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia could also guess, although didn't much want her suspicions confirmed and Aulus seemed to sense that as he didn't elaborate. "I have no objections." She said quietly and curled tighter into his side, slipping under the covers as she did. "And since sixty-three, your father gifted her to me." She said before disguising a yawn. Callista had been there when Aulus was not, and she was inseparably close with her body slave. The thought that those years of companionship might have been undone if it weren't for Felix's intervention made a wave of nerves wash over her. 

She gently traced her fingers over his bare arm, distracted in thought as she did so. She counted her blessings, in that moment, that even after almost fifteen years of marriage they were still just close as they ever had been, if not moreso. 

She murmured as she traced the contours of the muscles in his bicep, "Why are you so good to me?" It wasn't necessarily for answer, but she felt soothed and calmer than she had done all evening by merely just laying here in contended silence. "Were you going to sleep?" She queried as she curled closer.

 

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[Sharpie]

"You can be there when I talk with her, if you want," Aulus said, meaning if you need. Callista had been with Horatia almost as long as Felix had been with him; even with slaves, that length of service should mean something.

They had a good marriage, he thought. She helped to temper any severity he might have and lent him a quiet sort of strength - and pushed him to be better than he would be otherwise, he thought, even if she did not realise it.

"You deserve all the good things in life, Horatia Justina," he said quietly. "And I had only just got to bed, so no, not right away." He held her close, stroking her back as she traced her fingers lightly through the hair on his bicep. "I wish I could stop thing like this, that hurt you - but we'll get through it and come out stronger, you'll see."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She shook her head, "No, no. You can do it without me." She didn't particularly want to hear the details of what Callista had been through or what had been threatened with. Women, of any rank, had several things to fear although one in particular stood out to her from her own lived experience. It didn't matter if you were the Augusta herself, or a slave in the mines - sexual assault was never far out of the minds of women in danger. She was relieved, although only slightly, that the matter for herself hadn't escalated on that walk to Baiae. 

She shuddered a little at his fingers on her back and tried to blink away distant memories. Not now. Not ever, really, but tumultuous times had a habit of surfacing the unpleasant past for her. 

"I know we will." She murmured and kissed his arm softly before dragging it to wrap around herself. "And you shouldn't worry about me," She smiled into the crook of his elbow, "I'm not scared for myself, I know you won't let anything happen to me." Although - she thought darkly - if he was in the tullianum then there wasn't much he'd be able to do to stop it - "It's just the shame that I feel." She reached for his hand, wrapped around her and lightly threaded her fingers through his. "I thought we were done with all of the drama and the problems," she sighed. It had taken work, hard work to restore their marriage after his return from Britannia and the Rhine but over the last few years she had felt more comfortable than ever.

Shifting and rolling so she was on her back peering up at him next to her, she gently asked; "Do you think I should mention this to my father? Or Publius or Livia?" She kept her fingers threaded through his and gave them a squeeze.

 

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"I will put some arrangements in place for you and the children," Aulus said. "And then if anything happens to me, you will have somewhere to go and someone to protect you." He considered for a moment. "I think we probably should tell your father and brother. Does Livia have somewhere safe - she would be welcome here, if not. And where is Lucius at the moment?"

So many things to think about, and who knew precisely what this Praetorian Tribune was after. Aulus was not going to make it easy for him, though. 

"There's no need to feel ashamed for merely having a conversation with a Praetorian Tribune. He is supposed to be someone trustworthy and if he is not, that is an abuse of his position."

Aulus had seen just what could happen when someone in that sort of position got power-hungry and wanted what should never be theirs. He could only hope that this was not the precursor to something like that; he had no wish to go through another civil war.

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She swallowed the lump in her throat at the mention of arrangements. It made it sound so...so what? So real? Wake up, it is. She said nothing though, until prompted when she nodded her head; "She's largely out of the city with Secundus in Tibur, and Lucius is in Germania." Serving as a Tribune, although he was due back to Rome shortly from what her addled mind could remember of his last letter. 

She sighed softly and nodded, still peering up at him from her back, eyes almost swollen with regret. "I know, I know." it didn't help her feel much better though. She moved her hand from his and up to his face, softly tracing the worry lines that sometimes creased his brow when he was deep in thought or conversation. "I hate that it worries you, it's how I can tell it is serious." She nibbled at her lower lip, and moved her palm to rest flush against his cheek. "What can I do to help?" 

 

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[Sharpie]

"It might be as well to warn her, though," Aulus said thoughtfully. "The thing that puzzles me the most is what this man hopes to achieve by these threats. My own loyalty to the Emperor has never been in doubt, and yet he has also shown an interest in those who may have decided for one of the others  who laid claim to the purple. Either he hopes to rid himself of those loyal to the Emperor, or he hopes to weed out those who might waver in their loyalty in the future."

Or both and claim the purple himself as Clemens tried to do, but he would not voice that.

"You can be brave. More practically, you can keep Callista busy. It may have been coercion, but keeping her busy will mean she won't have time to slip out anywhere, and it will keep her mind off what has happened." He smiled. "It will all work out."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia sighed and moved her hand from his face, moving it to lie across her waist as she led next to him. "Perhaps he doesn't have any desire for either. Perhaps he just enjoys the chaos he creates." It wouldn't be improbable that a man deranged could climb to the heights of a Praetorian Tribune. It had happened before, of course, and the ranks seemed to thrive off a culture of machismo and menace that the Tribune had in spades, from what she'd seen and been told by Felix and Callista.

She nodded at his instruction. "I have plenty for her to do." And wordlessly she went back to staring at the ceiling, thoughts cascading one after another after another. That was the problem with being a deep thinker and reserved in nature; instead of outwardly expressing issues, she kept them firmly bottled up and locked away.

"It will work out." She repeated, although from the tone of her voice it sounded more like a question that a statement of fact. She flicked pale eyes back to his face again and searched it. "What would I do without you?" It wasn't a question that needed answering. She would have been perfectly fine with being a wife to a man of no ambition, bearing children and tending to their house. She would have no complaints, it was not in her nature. Yet would she have been happy? Probably not. Aulus had that rare balance that suited her perfectly; authoritative and assertive as every good Roman man (and husband) should be, but gentle and understanding in private. Few women, she supposed, could claim such a perfect mix.

 

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[Sharpie]

"Perhaps. Strange though it may be - the military are generally recognised and praised for their discipline and good order," Aulus said. "And good. The less chance Callista has to slip out, the better - she may be grateful for it, she may not, but that is by-the-bye. And it will work out." He injected a note of certainty into his words; however he felt, Horatia needed him to be confident so that she could be confident herself.

He stroked her cheek with the back of a finger. "You would have managed, I think, if you'd married someone else." It might have been easier for her quiet, introverted tendencies had she married someone less ambitious than Aulus, but he admired her for choosing to go beyond those and engage with the society she found herself in, even if she did need to spend time alone afterwards. She tempered him in a way he had not realised he had needed until his return to Rome. "I am glad I married you, my sweet. You have always encouraged me to be more than I knew I could be."

 

@Sara

[Sara]

She felt herself smile, even if she didn't much feel in the mood to as his finger softly traced her cheek. "I would have managed, but I would not have been as happy." At least she thought not. Despite the trials their marriage had endured; most vividly his absence for close to six years, they had weathered it and come out stronger. Her life had certainly not been dull, and he'd given her two healthy, wonderful children. She could not have imagined such a life with another man.

She arched a brow, warming a little and calming in his presence - enough to offer a joke. "I'm glad. I suspect the ladies of Rome cried the day your letter arrived to the city, informing your friends you'd wed." She smiled a little. She'd never asked of his love life and whether he'd courted before her, and suffered  the same disappointments she had endured with Lucius Ranius Latus and her failed betrothal. Then again, she'd never shared said disappointments with him, not that he'd asked. 

She stifled a yawn and tucked herself into his side, content to lay in silence as she so often did. When she did speak, her voice was soft; "I had intended for a while, to start something here...I'm not sure if it's the right time but," She sighed, "I had wanted to start a book club - for some of the ladies of Rome. Some equite girls as well, to show we are not snobs. Some of my friends are interested...if you have no objections?" She glanced up at him, "It might do us good to be seen to mingle with the great and the good - or their wives, at least." 

 

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[Sharpie]

"A book club? Reading and talking about something? No, I don't think there can be any objection to that. Well, unless you intend to read and discuss the most lurid thing you can find, which would no doubt please the ladies and displease their fathers and brothers in equal measure."

He rested his head on the pillow, his arm still holding her close. "I am glad you're thinking of such things - I know that you treasure your time alone, or with just a few close intimates."

It could not hurt, anyway - and who knew what benefits might arise from it.

"Will Calpurnia join you, or don't you think she would be interested?"

 

@Sara

[Sara]

Horatia flushed. Even she - prim and proper as she was - hadn't escaped reading some of the more lurid works of the cities poets. She was sure, if she dug in her endless boxes of scrolls she'd find one or two of Landicus' works. Of course, she only had them to fill her collection and had only read them out of necessity - wanting to be a well-read woman. Honest. Her lips twitched though and she arched a brow up at him, "But reading such things wouldn't displease their husbands? Just their fathers and brothers?" She smiled to herself and ducked her head into the crook of his neck.

She nodded. "If she'd like to, I suspect she'd find the women's company rather dull. She's more outgoing than her mother." Well, not necessarily - Calpurnia was a shy soul to those she did not know but Horatia had chided her daughter on more than one occasion about a muddy tunica or missing ink. Calpurnia was a creative and vivacious girl trapped in the body of an awkward teenager - still fumbling with self-consciousness and the like that all developing girls endured. She had thought Titus was a poor influence - dragging his sister out to the Gardens of Sallust, but the more she thought about it, she wondered if it was the other way around. 

"I'll pull up a list of who to invite," She stifled a yawn in his neck, "And we can talk about it tomorrow if you have time. I don't want to invite the wife or daughter of your mortal enemies." She chuckled, although it fell flat. Up until today she didn't think her husband had enemies, yet the Castra wasn't far away and who knew what malevolence lurked within it?

 

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