Where the f... is Tiberius?

[Sarah]

"Of course I'll share." Varinia replied, warmth and a touch of amusement in her voice. That's what the cakes were for, sharing and spreading the blessings of Saturnalia. Marcus pointed out that Saturn was also the god of wealth, so a few coins should be acceptable as an offering too. Perfect. They each had something they could offer the god, though Varinia didn't know what she might pray for. She was still becoming accustomed to her sudden change in circumstances, and counting her new blessings, to want more. Perhaps instead she would simply offer thanks. She had heard it said that Saturn was also a god of liberation; certainly it was he before whom all were equal during this celebration. 

Marcus however seemed to have something on his mind. A combination of curiosity and desire to offer moral support to a young person who seemed oddly troubled caused Varinia to follow up the stairs in his footsteps. "Are you seeking a particular blessing?" She asked quietly as she followed the young man, pulling her palla up to cover her dark hair as they entered the temple. Saturn might not be a god she'd been born with, but she would not risk his ire by disrespecting him. 

@Atrice

[Atrice]

He smiled when Varinia said she'd happily share one of her cakes with Marcus, so he could offer it to the god. And then he also came to the idea that Saturn might appreciate a few coins, since he was the god of wealth and abundance, among other things. They climbed the steps up and into the temple together, side by side, Marcus with his fingers wrapped around a few coins and Varinia with her cakes, pulling her palla over her head as they entered. It was a bit dark, compared to the rest of the Forum, but his eyes slowly adjusted to the faint light of the temple. There were plenty of people in here though. She wondered what kind of blessing Marcus wanted from the god.

"I just... no... not really." He said, "I suppose I just wish for Saturn to bless me. If I put my trust into the hands of a god, maybe he will guide me down the right path?" Marcus suggested, "That's one thing to hope for, at least. It's not like I do this often." Not very often at all, but here they were. They soon stood in line to reach the statue of the god and his uncovered feet, where they'd lay their sacrifices before the god and ask for what they needed.

@Sarah

[Sarah]

If I put my trust into the hands of a god, maybe he will guide me down the right path?

It felt odd to think that a young man like Marcus, with the world at his feet, might feel the need for guidance in his future, but perhaps they were not so different after all. Wasn't that what Saturnalia was all about? And if Marcus could have doubts and uncertainties, that meant that others could too, even those to whom one would like to look up to. Wasn't that the message here, that they were all simply human in the eyes of the Gods? It was worth thinking about, and Varinia knew that she would. As a slave it was easy to see one's owner as wise and all powerful, but she was coming to realise that wasn't the case. Sometimes far from it.

So perhaps there was no reason that anyone couldn't ask for a little guidance. She hadn't intended it, but now found herself in line with Marcus to see the statue of Jupiter. She was quite content with her current lot, but it was true that her future was fairly unstructured. Would she spend the rest of it running Teutus's household? What if he married? Should she go home, to Gaul. Could she? What did she want for herself? She didn't know. All that she had wanted - her son back - she now had, with her freedom as a bonus. The world had opened to her and it was a little daunting at times, but also exhilarating.

What direction might Marcus seek? "My mother once told me that the Gods rarely speak to us directly." She said quietly to her young companion as they waited in the queue. "Amongst my people those they spoke to became priests and priestesses." Those who heard the words of the Gods became their mouths. "But if you watch and listen, they can speak to you in their own ways, little signs, to help guide us." Though she wasn't certain she believed it any more. She'd listened for many years, and it still felt like chance that Teutus had found her, though she'd made an offering in thanks to Fortuna.

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Why should he not feel the need for guidance for the future? Varinia was the one who made him realize he needed it and what better night to seek it than tonight? He had no one else, after all. His brother was far away, his real parents were dead, his last mother married to a man who never felt like a father to him. He had Tiberius, of course, but they were almost the same age. Marcus needed more than that and perhaps Saturn would guide him. Although he wasn't quite sure what to ask for or how, as he didn't do this very often. Varinia shared that the gods rarely spoke directly, but to priests and priestesses. Yet they could provide signs.

"Let's hope that's what will happen. I doubt I'll ever be any kind of priest." He said with a grin, he didn't quite think he was the type of person for that. But surely the gods gave signs to ordinary people too? Not that Marcus was very ordinary, but he was no god either, so he did need the signs from them. The signs and the guidance. Maybe if he actually paid attention, something would happen. Well he could try. Meanwhile the queue moved and he looked up.

"It's our turn next." Marcus said and bowed his head to the statue in front of them, stepping forwards as the person in front of them moved away. His hand still held the coins and Varinia had her cakes. He looked to her, attempting a bit of politeness in front of a god was probably only a good thing... "Do you want to go first?"

@Sarah

[Sarah]

Marcus seemed as full of insecurities as any young man, and she supposed that he was allowed to be. Why not? It was easy to assume that those of high rank had easy lives, but she supposed that they all had their own concerns. As they reached the front of the queue, she offered him a smile and a brief squeeze of the hand, before they stepped forward and were in the presence of Saturn himself, in the form of his statue.

Do you want to go first?

She'd assumed he would, but it was kind of him to ask. "Kneel with me." She whispered back, before dropping to her knees before Saturn's bare feet. She carefully placed two of her cakes by his toes, hoping that he liked such things. They weren't made with expensive ingredients, but they were made with love and hope, those two things which had kept Varinia going all her life.

But what did one say to a God? Especially one who, if he was the same as that she'd grown up with, was worhshipped differently here. "Father Jupiter, whom I called Taranis as a child," she began after a moment, "we two have come before you, equals in your eyes on this night of celebrations, to ask for guidance. The paths before our feet are many and open, and the choice daunting. Tonight your feet touch the earth, we ask you to show us which paths we should take." Did that sound suitable respectful? She looked across at Marcus, wondering what he thought and what he would ask.

@Atrice

[Atrice]

Marcus looked up at the statue after she told him to kneel, and then he did as she did, they would sit there, side by side. She placed the cakes by the statue of the god and Marcus joined her, placing the coins and bowing his head. He was usually not very humble, but before Saturn, he would be, because he had come here for a blessing. Silently he hoped and prayed that the god would accept the gift of money and grant him fortune in return. Then Varinia went on to say her wish to the god, speaking of how she'd known different names for the gods. He listened to her words and nodded. It did sound respectful and proper, even if she used a different name.

He inhaled a breath and looked up at the god, "Saturn, I come to you on this night, with this woman who made me see, that I must consider my future. I am young, but I am motivated. And I hope for and ask for your blessing, so that you may guide me onto the right path. I hope you will accept our gifts and bless us in return." Marcus said and closed his eyes, "I will be forever grateful to you." He said, almost in a whisper, and then he opened his eyes and looked at Varinia briefly, wondering what was on her mind, but he might never know. He was usually never like this, but tonight had turned out differently than expected. And this seemed right. He stood and extended his hand to help her get on her feet too.

Quietly they moved out of the way for the next person to place their sacrifice and their wish with the god. He said nothing until they'd left the temple and was unsure what to say. This was so different and he barely knew Varinia, though she seemed to see him more than anyone else he knew. Even his mother.

"Where do you live? I can walk you home?" He suggested, that was the least he could do for her, right? He felt a need to prove himself further, now that he'd been in the temple. A need to prove he could do the right things. Like making a woman feel safe with him. 

@Sarah

[Sarah]

They placed their offerings and spoke their requests, each asking for guidance in their own way, and on their own paths. Varinia for the bewildering array of choices that now lay open to her as, in middle age, she suddenly again tasted the heady air of freedom. Marcus for the choices facing a youth of the upper echelons of Roman society, which she could barely begin to comprehend. Oddly there was something comforting in knowing that the Patricians could feel as lost and bewildered as she sometimes did. 

After an appropriate pause they glanced at each other; clearly there would be no blinding light and voice from the heavens tonight. But Gods rarely worked that way, such was the stuff of legends from when the world was young and potent. Now they were expected to be able to think for themselves a bit. She hadn't really expected anything else, though there was always that tiny glimmer of hope, but she would watch for signs in the coming days, weeks and months. 

Marcus rose to his feet with the fluidity of youth and offered her a hand up, which she gratefully accepted and the pair moved quietly out of the way so that the next in line might have their moment with the God. Outside the air seemed warm and fragrant, full of promise and potential. It was a heady feeling, and one she hadn't noticed before they'd gone in, though surely the air itself had not changed. Perhaps that was a sign in itself? Tonight is what we make of it. Perhaps life is the same. She took a deep, exultant breath. 

Where do you live? I can walk you home?

She glanced at her companion, slightly amused at his obvious attempt at gallantry in the face of the ribald celebrations in the square. 

"Oh Marcus, that's sweet but the night has just begun and I intend to enjoy it!" She exclaimed with a broad smile, suddenly feeling excited, like the air was full of promise. "Don't worry, you needn't stay with me if you don't want to, I'm sure you have other places to go." She assured him, certain that a rich young thing like him had better places to be. "Thank you for coming to the Temple with me though, I suddenly feel as though the world is full of opportunities. Perhaps Saturn heard us." Or perhaps the simple act of asking was enough to change perception. 

"If you could do anything tonight, what would you do?" She asked. Perhaps he would inspiration for some adventure. 

@Atrice

Edited October 31, 2022 by Sarah

[Atrice]

Everyone could feel lost and bewildered. It happened more often to Marcus than he let anyone know - he had no one to confide in about such things. Silvanus knew more than most, but he was a slave and Marcus didn't really confide in him like that. Varinia knew him now. A freedwoman. Yet on Saturnalia. Then it was alright. Once he stood, he extended his hand to help her up too and Varinia took his hand and stood. Together they walked outside and he wondered what to do - then elegantly offered to walk her home. She looked at him with a smile and said she intended to enjoy the night. She called him sweet. Said he didn't have to stay with her. 

Gods, he forgot about Tiberius! And he was the whole reason Marcus was out here tonight! Fuck... he did have other places to go. He just didn't know where that was. But Varinia spoke again and he returned his attention to her.

"I hope he did." Marcus agreed with her and Varinia wondered what he'd do if he could do anything.

"I would drink and party with my friends. But... I don't know where they are. Remember I was looking for someone? I just did." He rolled his eyes, a bit upset with himself for having forgotten, "Would you like to help me? Or... if you'd rather stay here and have fun, that's alright. But..." Damn, why were such things so hard to speak about? "It has been nice so far. You've been really... nice to me." She didn't know how much, did she? How he rarely had anyone to confide in, but she made him reconsider his life and how lost he really was. He went to a temple with her. She heard his prayer to Saturn. 

@Sarah