Delicate Matters

[Atrice]

March, 77AD

 Time had passed since she first met Gaius Vipsanius Roscius and decided that he might be a suitable husband for her. She’d spoken to her brother and Gaius had indeed done as he suggested – or so she heard, for she had not been at home that day, but her brother informed her that Gaius had paid him a visit and they had talked about her. These were good news and she could safely tell her brother, that she did not resent Gaius in any way and she had enjoyed spending time with him the day they met. Publius was pleased too and together they decided that Gaius might indeed be her future husband. Pinaria might be an unmarried - or rather widowed - woman in the household, but she was not born yesterday and her brother knew that. She wanted influence - and she got what she wanted.

 And now she wanted to meet him again. For more than one reason. Firstly, she would like to know him better. He was so different from his brother, whom she also considered a good man, he just had not been the right one for her. But the second reason why she wanted to meet with Gaius again, had to do with something that happened very recently. A murderer, who also just randomly attacked people in Rome, had been caught. It was almost half a year since she was the one who was attacked, and she had tried to forget about it, but when he was caught very recently, it all came back… and she felt she should tell Gaius. It was unfair to marry a man and not inform him that such a thing happened to her. She told Tiberius, after all. Her future husband deserved to know too. 

 So it had been arranged that Gaius would pay another visit to the house and she had everything made ready for them. A table with couches had been set up near the peristyle and light dishes were on the table. Gaia had dressed in blue, grey and silver, which went well with her hair and her eyes. Now all she had to do was await her guest. She plucked a grape to eat while waiting.

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It had been a pleasant surprise to receive an invitation to Pinaria's home - well, the home of her brother, where she currently resided. He wondered if this meant an introduction to her son - if things continued progressing as they had, surely he ought to meet the boy sooner rather than later. It must be easier to be a father figure to a child than to his own brother - he had made a complete mess of that, though Lucius had contributed to the failure.

He was wearing an embroidered green tunic and had foregone the formal toga for a pallium in a sand colour. It had taken a while to decide, but overall the effect was pleasing - or at least, when Cassander had shown him the two garments together, he'd liked the effect.

Cassander accompanied him to the house on the Aventine, where he was admitted with little fuss and shown through to a shaded room opening on to the peristyle, with a view of the garden that the colonnade surrounded.

His prospective bride was already seated, apparently waiting for him, and he crossed to her with a smile.

"This is much nicer weather than the last time we met. I hope you are well?"

 

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[Atrice]

It wasn't long after she'd plucked her second grape to eat, that she heard footsteps and voices by the atrium and soon a slave appeared, followed by Gaius and a slave of his. She stood when she saw him, greeting him with a friendly and open smile and he greeted her with words about the weather and her wellbeing. Perfectly polite. How come he did not have a wife yet? 

"I am well, thank you. And yes, the weather has indeed improved. It's warmer now." She said and motioned to the couches, "Please, have a seat... and something to drink?" She continued and looked to the closest slave, who was ready to pour wine for Gaius, should he want that.

"And how have you been, since we last met?" Pinaria asked and waited with sitting down again, until he'd done the same. 

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"Much warmer than it was," he said in agreement. Indeed it was - it had begun warming, and then the previous week had been colder again, as if winter was clinging on to its domain, trying to remind people not to be too hasty in discarding their layers and warm fur-lined woollen cloaks.

He took the offered seat and nodded at the offer of wine, taking the cup the slave poured and sitting back.

"I have been well, thank you. Occupied with trying to keep the worst of the graffiti under control, and the temples in decent repair." He wouldn't elaborate on that unless asked; he didn't wish to go off on a ramble about civic matters and risk boring Pinaria to tears. Some women would be interested but some would not, and he wasn't sure which camp Pinaria fell in. "How about you - have you tried the new Calpurnian Baths yet?"

 

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[Atrice]

She nodded to his comment on the weather and they both took a seat on each their couch. He took the offer of wine too. Pinaria watched him sit and drink, watched his actions. He was almost too good. Maybe with such a man she could have some sort of influence in Rome. Some said that behind every great man, there was his wife. She smiled at the thought, while he spoke of himself, so he'd hopefully think she was smiling at his words. 

Pinaria took a cup of wine the slave offered to her too and he asked her if she'd tried the new baths.

"Not yet... sometimes it's easier to pick the baths closer to your home." She said, "It sounds like it's good work you're doing. Keeping the temples in decent repair is good. It should be a priority." She continued and sipped her wine while watching him, "It is good to see you again, Gaius. And it seems... like it may become a very regular thing." Pinaria smiled, happy that her brother agreed with her that Gaius would make a good and proper new husband to her. 

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"They're worth going to at least once, and if you like reading, there's a very fine library attached to them." Rumour had it that the library had been the request of the ex-Consul's wife. He didn't know whether Pinaria liked reading or not, or if she preferred listening to someone reading aloud. "You keep a very fine home," he added, although again, how much of it had been Pinaria's own responsibility was unclear - wasn't her brother married?

His own home needed a feminine touch. He hadn't realised how much it needed that until walking through the atrium here and noticing the flowers in various places to brighten it up.

"It is very good to see you again, likewise," he added with a smile. She seemed very much more comfortable in these surroundings - as she should; this was her own home, after all. "How is your son doing - I presume he is with his tutor at the moment?"

 

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[Atrice]

Pinaria nodded with a smile, as Gaius explained about the new baths and a library attached to them, "It sounds like I'll have to try them out now." She replied and the smile did not fade, as he continued to compliment the home, "Thank you. I lend a hand when and where I can, here." It wasn't her home, after all, there was a good reason why her brother wanted her to get married again. Alliances and fewer mouths' to feed and less space taken in their home.  

Gaius said it was good to see her too and then asked about her son, "Yes, he's with his tutor. Would you like to meet him? I'm sure he'll come running anyway, once today's lessons are done." She said with a grin, Gaius liked a hug from his mother once he was done... "It will be a little while though, before it's time for that." Pinaria then explained. So many kind words and pleasantries. Yet she had a more grave subject to talk to him about. How to get there though? She might end up just having to talk about it with no warning.

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"Of course I would like to meet him," Gaius replied. They would have to meet eventually if he married Pinaria, because of course the boy would come to live in his house - even though, technically, he supposed that the boy would come under the auspices of whoever was paterfamilias on his father's side now if that wasn't the child himself. And if Pinaria's son was the paterfamilias himself, there would be trustees and guardians and all of that sort of thing, none of whom would likely want to be involved enough with his upbringing. Better that he stay with his mother than go to live with a complete stranger - and of course Pinaria would want her son to be with her if at all possible.

"I'm not going to interrupt his lessons just so that he can meet some strange adult man, there will be plenty of time for that later," he added, and gave Pinaria a curious look; she had sounded a little hesitant, and looked a little worried, though that might simply be an over-active imagination on his part. "There's no need to disrupt his usual routine for me."

It would suffer some disruption if he married Pinaria and brought her and her son to live in his house, but that was not a certainty, not yet. She was willing for him to talk with her brother though, so it might become a certainty at some point - he felt more confident of her than he had of the attempted match with Ovinia Camilla.

 

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[Atrice]

She smiled when he said he'd like to meet her son. That was a good thing. Gaius was a good kid, although he was like boys mostly were. He'd try his best to follow his tutor, but he also liked to play and wrestle with other boys and he had so many questions and ideas at the moment. Sometimes he talked so much she could barely pay attention to all of it, but he felt it was important, so she tried to at least appear attentive. Perhaps a man would be a better listener to a boy like him. Perhaps Gaius would listen to Gaius. But of course he would not wish to interrupt her son's lessons.

"Well maybe you won't be a stranger forever. I'm sure he'll like you." Pinaria replied to him and picked up a dried peach from one of the trays on the table, but she didn't eat it. Was it becoming obvious to him too, that she had something on her mind?

"I know I like you." She then said, looking up at him with a soft gaze, "But... before we rush into anything. There's something you need to know. Did you hear about the Senator, who was killed in the street last month? And that they caught the murderer shortly thereafter?" 

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"If things work out between us the way I think we both want them to," Gaius said. "There may well be some sort of resentment - he won't have your complete attention all the time, the way he's been used to." He was not used to children - his brother Lucius had done all his growing up from a child into a young man while Gaius had been away, and it wasn't as though he had any children of his own. Which was one reason why he was here, after all. He needed a wife before he could have children, and this was a step along that path.

At least, he hoped it was.

He wrapped his hand around his wine-cup but didn't pick it up yet. Something about her words made him frown momentarily. "I heard about that, of course, but no real details."

What did she know of it - why did she know of it?

"He wasn't a relation of yours, was he, that Senator?"

She didn't seem like a woman who was grieving a loss, but he couldn't come up with any other reason for this change of subject.

 

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[Atrice]

She gave him a smile, when he commented that her son would not have her full attention if things worked out between them. That was true. She looked him over, he certainly was a handsome man. Pinaria wasn't quite sure she was in love, in fact she was quite sure of it, but she liked him and that was far better than what some noble ladies had to suffer with their husbands and their fathers arranging the match, without the young lady having anything to say. And liking someone could grow into more. What mattered most was that she did like him and that she thought he'd make a good husband and father to her son. He needed that.

But then she changed the subject, because she had to tell him about the attack. He'd see the scar upon her arm one day and he might wonder about it. Gaius had of course heard about the Senator that was murdered and wondered why she brought it up.

"No... no, I didn't know him." Pinaria said, "It's a little bit... strange, to tell you this, but I feel that I must. It wouldn't be right for me to continue our relation, without you knowing this. But you can't share it with anyone else." She said, looking at him with a certain look, hoping he'd understand, "You see, that murderer, he also attacked people in Rome, without killing them. He hurt them. Not intimately, but he cut them. Many people." Pinaria paused and sipped her drink, before looking at him again, "Mostly women. I'm one of them." And with that, she stopped, kept on watching him for his reaction. Would he be disgusted or something? Feel pity? The only people who knew were her family, the people who caught the killer and Tiberius. But her future husband did deserve to know too. She just hoped that he would accept the facts and how she felt about it, and attempt to move on... like she had.

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Gaius picked his cup up and sat back in his seat, giving her time to collect her thoughts together. She seemed very composed... which, when she came out with it, was rather surprising. He would have thought that a woman, attacked and hurt by a man, would have been an emotional wreck, needing comforting. Not Pinaria, apparently.

And immediately straightened back up to put the cup down again, concerned for her.

"I see," he said, mostly to give himself a moment to marshal his thoughts. "He didn't, uh... Just..." He took a breath, feeling he'd made a hash of it. "I'm sorry, please let me try that again. He just cut you - are you all right now?"

She seemed all right, very calm and poised, not at all the reaction he would have expected - though doubtless some of that lack of reaction was due to her maturity. Though she hadn't said when it happened, either - it could have been years ago.

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

Edited February 12, 2023 by Sharpie

[Atrice]

 

Pinaria was a composed and very practical woman. And she had forced herself to move on from the attack, because she had her son to consider, and her family and the future of herself and her son. She had had a hard time at first, but she fought through it. Meeting Ovinia had helped and it also made her see, that what happened to her was absolutely nothing. She would rather help others get through something worse. But she still knew it was bad, what happened to her. And she still had the scar and if Gaius was to be her husband, he might one day ask questions and she'd rather be honest from the beginning. That's how you built a good marriage. 

Gaius listened, until she was done and then he set down his cup, watching her. Then wondered, naturally, as expected, if her attacker had simply cut her or done more.

"Yes, he just cut me. It was horrible though. And when I learned he'd attacked so many others, even murdered people... I know I was lucky it wasn't worse, with me." She said, though she didn't feel lucky, even if she was. But there was no need to dwell on it. Gaius was being very kind about it all. Perhaps he was as composed and practical as her.

"Thank you. Yes... I'm sorry too." She said and sipped her drink. The truth was out there now, with him. Few people knew. His brother knew, though. He'd taken her and Ovinia to see Tiberius. And now Gaius knew, she'd said what she came to say, so... "Does that change your opinion of me?

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Gaius Vipsanius Roscius

He was silent for a moment, considering - the question was too important to be blasé about, he owed her a proper response. Did it change his opinion of her? Overall, no, he didn't think it did.

"It would have been very easy to have not said anything, especially to someone you don't know very well at all," he said eventually, speaking slowly. "And of course there are those who would ultimately blame you for being somewhere where that could happen - you don't know that I'm not one of those people, so that's even more reason for you not to have said anything. But things happen - if we all knew what bad things were going to happen, we wouldn't go into certain places, or speak to certain people or whatever. So, I don't blame you for being somewhere and ending up attacked out of the blue by someone. But it does change my opinion of you - no, hear me out," he added, hastily, holding up a hand. "I thought you were an honourable woman and now I find you are even more so, in confessing something that you could easily have kept quiet about, that might paint you in a bad light. I thought you were a strong woman, and now I find you stronger than I thought, to carry such a thing and not to have succumbed to nerves."

He leaned forward, looking at her. "Whatever people around you may say, the victim is so rarely to blame for an unprovoked attack. My opinion has changed, but only because telling me of this has shown me that you are a strong, a fearless woman. Does that answer your question?"

 

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[Atrice]

 

It felt like ages, while he considered how to respond to her question. Her admission and her truth and her question. Pinaria waited, she wasn’t holding her breath, but she hoped he would not dislike her or change his opinion of her. You never knew with people. But she liked him, more than so many other men she’d met and she had deemed she liked him enough to marry him, should he want the same. And it would not be right to marry him without him knowing this about her. The man who attacked her might have a public and nasty execution, after all.

Then he began talking, saying she could have stayed silent, since she didn’t know him so well. But when it all came down to it, he didn’t blame her for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She inhaled a breath when he said he’d changed his opinion, but apparently, it was only for the better. He said she was stronger than he thought.

Pinaria nodded when he’d finished talking, “You’re right, I could easily have kept quiet about it. But I like you, Gaius… and I consider you an honorable man and a good man.” She paused, “And it would not be right of me to hope for a future relation between us, if I’d kept quiet about this story. If you didn’t know.” Pinaria said, “And I’m glad that I now know, that I was right about you. At least I hope I am. That you are a good man.” She paused and gave him a small smile, “Maybe one of few.”

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Gaius Vipsanius Roscius

"And you are an honourable woman," Gaius said - that had been proven by the fact of her story, which she need not have told him. He had a suspicion that most women, in her situation, would not have mentioned anything, too concerned about the possible damage to their reputations. She seemed right for him in almost every other respect. He had not really considered marrying a widow, but she was still young, young enough to have more children, and she had a son already.

"Most men would possibly consider breaking off any sort of understanding," he continued. "You weren't worried I might do the same?"

He supposed that, in that case, he would not be the sort of person she would want to marry, and it was surely better to learn that sooner rather than later.

 

@Atrice