Járnviðr

Secundus exhaled, allowing his tiredness to take over for a moment. Forgoing sleep this way might have been possible for a younger man, but for him, it was taxing. And yet. He could not sleep when his mind demanded that he remain on guard against invisible threats from all corners. What was he so afraid of? He closed his eyes for a few moments. He wondered if his brother was at peace, or if there was merely another battle after death. That would befit what life was.

He sipped his wine, barely registering the question. Was there anything else she could get him? A wife that wanted to be wed. That would have been worth nearly anything. Secundus thought of his legacy and despaired; when he had children, his wife would not be an equal, willing partner, he feared. His life was an endless series of disappointments from those closest to him. His misspent youth was being punished by aging out of the chance to make an impact.

Perhaps there was something Livia's body slave could do for him.

"Your mistress will need time to recover from this death. Until such time as she has healed, I will not have a proper wife, nor a mother for my children. May I ask that you do what you can to make that time shorter?"

@Echo

Secundus nodded stiffly. He didn't smile at his brother. What was there to smile about? Their house had just barely survived, he thought, thinking about the way cracks in something could grow over time. At least the garden looked intact. Even the fountain seemed less shaken than the building. He marveled for a moment at Roman engineering. Their civilization was the pinnacle of achievement. Men like Tertius did not appreciate how wonderful Rome was, to dishonor her so.

"I am surprised to see you here at all, Tertius. Women can be so demanding when they carry children. Slaves must be even moreso, since that leaves no one to do the housework."

Secundus wondered how many of the families in Rome openly mocked the Varus name. After their string of failures and indiscretions, he wondered if anyone could respect them at all. His sister needed to be married soon. Unlike Tertius, she stood a chance of bringing some honor back to their family. Secundus himself still nurtured a fledgling hope that one day, he could have children that might provide recompense for his own mistakes. His political career was an opportunity all its own, despite his advancing age. He had time enough to be a good senator.

@Atrice

News of the earthquake took time to reach Secundus. He delayed no longer than that. Around him, Rome was rebuilding itself, but he did not care about Rome. Rome was a means to an end. She was his mother, who had given his parents the chance to create him- so when she had abandoned him in Germania, the depth of his rage knew no limits. Now, Poseidon had unleashed his wrath on the city. Secundus surveyed the wreckage with a vicious glee. Still, he needed to check on their house.

His father’s house had gone to Tertius, when they had believed him and their elder brother dead. It was one of his younger brother’s innumerable betrayals. Secundus hoped to avoid Tertius today. The other man was in Rome more often, he thought, so surely he would have already visited if he intended to. Tertius was so impulsive, unreliable, and impractical that he half-suspected he would forget to check for any damage for a month. Secundus would have to look out for their family’s interests, once again.

It had been long enough since one of their arguments that Secundus found himself thinking somewhat charitable thoughts about his brother- he remembered the boy that Tertius had once been. He had potential. He shook off the thought. Tertius, the man, was worthless in every way that mattered. If their father were alive to see how far their good name had fallen, he would weep.

Secundus entered the house without knocking. It was his home, after all. As the paterfamilias, he had every right to be here. The slave that accompanied him joined the others. He lingered for a moment in the atrium, drinking in the sight of his childhood, destroyed. His family, gone. He had Livia, now, but that was a new family. The old family, the Varus name, their domus- collapsed. He shook himself out of his dramatics. The damage was not nearly so severe as all that. The walls still stood. There were just- cracks, now, that might turn into something more sinister later. He proceeded through the house, footsteps heavy.

@Atrice

The tablinum, then. In some ways, it was of course the correct answer. He would feel more comfortable in the tablinum rather than drinking where slaves worked. Secundus had wanted her to suggest the culina, he thought with a twinge of disappointment. He was a broken man, and belonged with the slaves. He shook his head as they sat, in the dark, drinking their wine.

"Perhaps we could do with some light," he said gruffly, after a few minutes of silence. "Or might that disturb your mistress' delicate sleep?"

Secundus resented the loss of freedom that marriage entailed. Long nights like this one had been common, but now he would need to sleep when his wife slept. For now, so mired was she in her tears that he might be allowed to continue, but not for long. His life was about his wife and their future children, now. He had spent so much of the past few years worrying about his parents' legacy (squandered by Tertius), but he had his own to consider.

"Thank you for the wine," he added politely, though of course it was not her wine. It seemed fair to thank her; she was not yet his slave in truth, only in name. That would take time.

@Echo

Secundus approached, staring down at her as she stretched. Every motion showing off her best features- his wife only signaled her disinterest, but Vibia could make him feel like a man. He took one of the cups, toasting silently. He sipped slowly. He reached out a hand to stroke her hair. He paused just short of touching her, giving her the opportunity to resist- he wouldn't stop, if she resisted, but it might add an interesting flavor to the rest of the evening. He thought they might just talk. He thrummed with the wanting of her, but he also felt the bloodlust tonight. It was so rarely a good idea to combine the two.

"As Venus provides, so do we drink. Is your favorite man a drunk one? Wine draws out the beast within me, you'll remember. He is not satisfied easily."

He looked about, affecting disinterest. Secundus enjoyed making a game of it. He had paid for this night, but he wanted to feel as though he was working for it. He would earn the right to have her before he could have her, one way or another. Vibia had been a welcome discovery. Most of the other girls here did not know how to play the game. They were pretty, but their heads were as empty as any Roman woman. Vibia had something much more capable behind that kohl-eyed pretty face.

@Sara

Secundus's pulse boiled at the thought of this kind of carelessness. He supposed that the slave was the victim. His anger turned easily to fantasizing of cruelly punishing this pickpocket- he would need to ask her to describe her attacker. His heart swelled as Livia asked the appropriate questions: why had the slave fallen prey to such tactics? He supposed women were weaker, and even male plebians or slaves could target one. He would need to send male slaves to accompany her from now on, or not let her walk without her mistress. Two women, one of whom was a senator's wife, made a less appealing target.

He did agree with Livia that it was a failure of attention. He would need to teach Aglaea to remain more alert; it was a skill he found lacking even among patricians. Only warriors had presence of mind to observe potential threats in their environment. Secundus approached the entrance, eyes fluttering shut as he asked.

"I overheard what happened. No injuries? Have you examined her yet?"

He says this critically to Livia. His wife's mercy is admirable in the abstract, but gently probing the slave will not get them their answers quickly enough. This pickpocket will evade justice if they delay.

"How much was stolen?"

@Echo @Liv

Secundus loved to visit Domus Venus. It was only here, surrounded by the women of the brothel, that he felt at home. Rome was a civilized place, which felt alien. He dreamt of his time with the barbarians of Germania. A little depravity was just what he needed, and he could not have that with his wife. There was something unique about Venus' women. They knew how to elicit the perfect response. Under her roof, Secundus was nothing but a body with a hunger. He was the thing of flesh and blood that had nearly died, only to suffer years in captivity. Vibia was beautiful, but a beauty that did not tame itself. She was beauty wild and untrammeled, like Venus herself, perhaps.

He passed the girls who displayed their bodies for all to say. He supposed some men with weak spirits enjoyed the act of selection, but his favorite part of courting a woman was not in persuading her. Secundus was glad that they could arrange meetings that began in private; he found it too difficult to put down the mask of respected senator after putting it on, but now he was not a man of rank or birth. He was an animal. He felt the strange appetites rise again, but ignored them. Vibia could only feed some of them. The rest would continue to plague him.

He stormed up to the door and swung it open, not deigning to knock. There was no need to announce his presence. Secundus took her in, smiling at the display. She reclined on her bed, her fingers twirling around a strand of her hair as she gazed distantly. He wondered if there was anything in her mind besides becoming an object of his obsession. He wondered if she thought of that even when he took her. Vibia propped herself up on her elbows and smiled slyly at him. His smile widened, this time showing teeth. It was a cruel smile; she had seen them before, but not often. Enough of them signaled that there would be no talking, but one meant little on its own.

"Vision of beauty, gift of Venus to man. A poem, embodied, so that those among us who lack the wisdom or patience of scholars can appreciate it. Vibia. You look as you always do."

@Sara

Accommodating? He would never describe his servants as such. They were scared little mice, scurrying about his home when he wanted to be left alone. Secundus supposed that they must tolerate one another. He wondered how they would behave around him if he were one of them. Perhaps Livia's body slave saw something in them that he could not. He wondered what secrets they must whisper away from his prying ears. As she offered him the pitcher, he realized that perhaps drinking wine in this dark room was not very accommodating behavior. This was his household, and if she had been a proper guest, she would be right to spit in his face. He cursed his lethargy once again; he continued to leave behind propriety when alone. It was shameful. He doubted even Tertius would sink this low. At least it had only been a slave that witnessed it.

"Will you follow me? One should never drink this far from the ground; there is a much greater distance to fall."

A poor joke, but perhaps it would comfort her. Slaves needed careful management, else their fear and docility make them too weak to serve. Secundus thought it strange that they took so long to adjust to their circumstances. Surely learning one's place came easily? He had learned his early, and when it came to re-learn, he had done so as well. Service to his blood and his name was his first duty. He led her through the darkened halls.

"Tablinum or culina?"

A well-trained slave would be stymied by the question, but a well-kept one might offer a thoughtful answer. Secundus waited, interested to see which she was.
@Echo

Secundus had many important duties as a senator. They did not always require his full attention, this early in the morning. While he waited for his wife, he tried to entertain himself around the house. Unfortunately, slaves did not provide the kind of comfort he wanted. For that, he would need Livia. As the morning drew on, so too grew his impatience. What was taking her so long? His own grooming took time, although less than it once had; his time in Germania had inured him to feeling ugly and disgusting, and it was only public propriety that motivated him to take care of himself. Livia seemed to take more time to prepare every day. Eventually, patience wearing thin, he went to confront her. He could only tolerate so much insolence.

He paused as he approached the bedroom. Inside, he could hear both women's voices as they spoke. Secundus listened, curiously, wondering what his wife and her slave could be speaking of. It was unmanly, he thought, to wonder this much about women's talk. He continued to listen as he heard what they were talking about. Were you robbed? Robbed? When had this happened? Did they harm you? Who would dare? His temper flared in response. Whoever had touched his wife's body slave would face whatever punishment he commanded. His household, a target of common thieves! His father would never have allowed such an insult to stand. Secundus fantasize a moment about meting out the punishment personally, before he retreated from the violent imagery- this was civilization, not the land of barbarians. He continued to listen, just out of sight.

@Echo @Liv

If Secundus took any offense at this form of presumption, he didn't show it. He smiled his first genuine smile in days.

"Wine might be exactly what I need. Have you been shown around the household?"

He suspected his slaves had failed in their duties, a common problem. He would need to command them to be more useful. With a woman to impress, Secundus had started to view his home with a more critical eye- he would bring some by to judge his art. He could not keep anything in house that was more beautiful than his wife, but neither could he keep anything too ugly to bring her joy.

"My sleep has never been troubled before, but my wife vexes me. Had she cried all the way to my home, I would not have been surprised."

His thoughts swirled around the image of his wife, crying for her husband. There was nothing else he could think of, when he saw her face, but that her sadness was for someone else. What kind of man must he have been, to deserve these hysterics? One who had not known how to take care of his wife, Secundus thought darkly. He would do better.

@Echo

"I know what a body slave does," he snapped, instantly regretting the way his face contorted. He smoothed his features, returning to implacable calm, the change perhaps more frightening for the way the vein in his forehead had throbbed with his anger. "Your humility does you credit," he allows. Humility is a comforting trait. Secundus struggles more with the assertive, ambitious men that surround him, who remind him so much of the barbarians that tried to crush his spirit. This slave spoke well, which he also respected. They had no reason to, which made it all the more appealing. He wondered how she had been trained; better to ask Livia, when she recovered enough to entertain trivial questions.

"I thank you for caring for my wife until our marriage, and hope that I can rely on your aid in the future. Her grief will pull her to the earth, as all grief does, but I am not ready to lose her yet. Serve her well. We will stay her death until she has nothing left to give."

It was more than Secundus did to comfort most of his household. They were none of his concern, but this one was his wife's slave. She deserved special attention. He hoped that he could make them comfortable here. The art should do it. Women adored art, for beautiful things love only beauty. His heart ached for a moment, as he wondered what his wife thought when she looked at him- but then, she had not married him because of adoration. Adoration mattered little in the affairs of state. Once again, Secundus was grateful for his station.

@Echo

"A lovely house," he repeated, sounding disappointed. Secundus was disappointed. He would have expected her to know how to treat her new master, but he restrained his temper. She was new, and that gave her time to learn. He would tolerate some confusion as she adjusted to her new place; he imagined it must be difficult, to transfer your loyalties so trivially. He could never imagine his duty changing so trivially. How strange, to be a creature whose loyalties changed at the whim of its betters.

"How did you enjoy keeping house for your mistress while her previous husband still drew breath?"

The venom in his voice made it sound like a threat.

Secundus admired the woman openly, taking in the length of her hair and the color of her skin approvingly. She had been well kept by Livia, raising his estimation of the woman. He had always thought women to be poor custodians of slaves, as they were so unlike children, but of course she had been accompanied by a husband for many of the previous years. He hoped Livia would recover shortly. He had heard stories of women who never rose from their mourning, and that would make her a poor example of a wife.

@Echo

Secundus had not slept. He rarely slept, so the household knew to expect his interminable pacing, grumbling, and shouting. It had grown more bitter and anxious recently. He was going to be married, to a widow. There was some comfort, in that, for widows must be easier to please than most women when it came to all of the public aspects of a marriage. He would keep her in the manner she had grown accustomed to. His wealth was sufficient for that. No, his concern was his other duties. Taking her to the marital bed, so soon after her husband's death, when she had a more capable example to compare him to- that possibility threatened to overtake his mind with envious rage at a dead man, so Secundus had avoided thinking about it. The wedding was approaching, but he could deny the implications until it suited him to do otherwise.

The nightmares persisted. He continued to pray for a reprieve, but the gods saw fit to grant him nothing but more pain. They had forsaken him long ago, and there was nothing to be done for it now. Secundus lived on borrowed time- stolen, from the grave of better men than he. He paced nightly. They pressed upon him with their obsequious voices and beseeching faces, but then had the gall to look fearful when he ordered them out. The minds of slaves and servants alike vexed him, as did the minds of women. He wondered if he even understood his brother's mind now; perhaps he had lost the ability to comprehend any but those that had seen true war, as he had. He felt a burst of pride at the thought.

Tonight was, like most nights, a night of pacing and muttering darkly about things that his brother and sister could do better- they showed no respect for the family that they had represented during his long absence, and any chance at preserving his parents' legacy slipped through his fingers. He could feel his opportunity fading as his back ached, as his eyesight dimmed. He was getting too old, now. Thankfully, Livia was here to set it right, he thought, relieved, but his thoughts turned darkly to the other problem- she would see this. The pacing, the muttering, the occasional scream- he must seem half-mad. She would not be allowed, to see him this way. No one could see him this way. He was more than this, better than this wretched, gnawing fear. Surrounded by art that did nothing to quell the roiling storm of vicious, violent hunger inside of him. He punched the nearest wall, roaring in rage, wishing that there were a war to go back to.

The sound of someone behind him did drag him from the depths of his thoughts. Secundus instantly snapped to attention, posture straight, every inch the image of a proper senator. He smiled, although it did not reach his eyes. The girl was new; certainly his wife's, then. His, now, he realized. Safe, then, and not someone who could ruin the public perception of him- as a man, and not a wretch. His muscles tensed and his heart raced. A conversation, enough to scare him. Pathetic. He nearly snarled at the girl before catching himself.

"My apologies for disturbing you," he said precisely, tone clipped.

@Echo

SECUNDUS QUINCTILIUS VARUS.

47 | 6 March 28 AD | Paterfamilias | Senator | Straight | Canon | Carlos Bernard

<>

Personality.

In public, Secundus seems to be friendly, but also well-mannered; a bit vain, perhaps, but ultimately somewhat charming, if stuffy. Outsiders are often surprised by the combination of senatorial poise and youthful exuberance, but not put off by it. It's only Secundus' family that sees just how unstable and temperamental he can be. He is a reclusive man. He lies easily, presenting one face to the public, and a less flattering one to those who know him best. He often panics when surrounded by too many people, and whenever Secundus experiences fear, he responds with cruelty. Secundus has violent and rebellious impulses which he carefully keeps in check. Watching gladiatorial matches provides something of an outlet for this raw, unacceptable part of himself. He is also impatient, easily bored with idle talk, and ill-tempered when he thinks he has a right to be- most often, around his brother, sister, and wife. 

Secundus views his brother as an usurper, who has taken his rightful place in the family. Despite his own familial issues, Tertius is a figure Secundus sees as having achieved what he was meant to, after Publius died, and he resents the man for it. It might have blown over if not for his temper; the two bickered after his return, and Secundus was never willing to admit defeat. As such, their conversations always devolve into insults and reproach.

Secundus his sister and her children married someday. Despite his marriage, Secundus still views that branch of the family as the best chance for his father's legacy to be carried forward. He does not believe that he will be a good father. So far, however, he has been unable to find a proper husband to her.  Secundus is too arrogant to recognize that much of this failure rests with his approach; his impatience, his high standards, and his hostility.

Appearance

Above average height and weight, Secundus strikes an imposing figure, until one takes a closer look. His thick beard, though somewhat groomed, is barely kept in check. It does not grow longer, but nor does he ever shave it completely. His clothes, while never sloppy, often seem somewhat dreary. Secundus cuts the figure of a rich, powerful senator. He likes to wear expensive clothing, and it is impeccably maintained. He walks in public as a figure of supreme confidence, shoulders back and back erect. However, in private, he slouches, every movement slightly slower and more ungainly than it should be. Similarly, while he retains the musculature of any capable warrior, he's softened over the years. His skin is a very light shade of brown; it had been darker, once, during his time in Germania, but with his current lifestyle, it has lightened considerably. His head hair, at least, he keeps well-groomed, as befits a patrician man of his age and standing.

Family

Father: Publius Quinctilius Varus Major (deceased)

Mother: Laelia Calida (deceased)

Siblings: Publius Quinctilius Varus (brother, deceased), Tertius Quinctilius Varus (brother), Quinctilia Varia (sister)

Spouse: Livia Justina

Children: None, despite his fervent wishes

Extended family: Marcus Sergius Auletius

History

As the second child, Secundus happily flourished within the shadow of his older brother, Publius. Lacking the intelligence to be a good student, Secundus spent most of his time carousing with friends or watching gladiator fights. If it had been up to him, Secundus would have lived a life completely free of rank or responsibility. Instead, his brother's death brought unprecedented amounts of filial duty down on his head.

In order to please his father (and to get away from his watchful eye), Secundus joined the legion and fled for Germania. As a soldier, he taught himself the critical lessons of duty, patriotism, and responsibility. Where once there had been an eager young boy, now Secundus had become a dour young man. He dreamt of a comfortable life at home when the legion no longer had need of him, and he could retire with his wife and children to carry forward his father's legacy. Instead, he was captured by the enemy.

It should have been an ordinary battle, but the enemy soldiers outnumbered them. Several tribes had combined their armies in order to challenge the Rowan forces. The Romans were ultimately able to drive back the opposing forces, but before losing some of their own. Several hours later, the other soldiers realized that some of their number were missing, but by then it was too late. Secundus and his compatriots were behind enemy lines. Had Secundus died then, or escaped, perhaps he might have still achieved his dreams of familial bliss. Instead, he remained in Germania for the next six years.

After his return, Secundus and his younger brother, Tertius, argued badly before Tertius married and moved away. Secundus also has argued with his sister, as she has yet to re-marry since being widowed. Secundus himself married Livia Justina in 73 AD and it has been an unhappy, and sometimes, violent union. They spend most of their time in a villa in sleepy Tibur outside Rome. Secundus still has nightmares of what he experienced- what he did- in Germania. He has told no one of what happened there. He talks during his sleep, sometimes even walking. He screams, at night, in the language of those barbarians.

Timeline:

28 AD- Secundus is born

30 AD (2)- Tertius is born

45 AD (17)- Publius dies, making Secundus his father's heir

46 AD (18)- Becomes military tribune in Germania

55 AD (27)- Becomes captive of Germania

61 AD (33)- Returns to Rome

73 AD (45)- Marries Livia

Járnviðr | EST (-5:00 GMT) | Járnviðr#1573

Hello all. Glad to be here. Call me Járnviðr (roughly, 'yarn' + 'vid' + 'ear'), or Jarn ('jar' + 'n'). Not a history buff, but always interested in learning more.