Chevi

Somewhere in the distance there was an ever-growing list of people lining up to take turns murdering him in all kinds of horrible ways for this. Ovinia's father, for sure. Her brothers. Likely her mother. Gaius, probably. Titus, most definitely. But all of these thoughts would only occur to Lucius later. Because the moment Ovinia responded to the kiss, he was not really thinking anymore. He parted his lips and they fell into each other, Ovinia's back colliding with the wall of the building behind them. He kissed her deeply and thoroughly, wanting something he was not even sure he could put into words. He had kissed people before, he had even felt desire before, but this, in all its frustrating and inexplicable reality, was something else. One if his hands left her hair and traveled down her body. The way she reached for him was driving him mad. They parted, out of breath, and the look she gave him mirrored his own. Ovinia Camilla was damn frustrating woman, but she was also damn beautiful, singed and disheveled and well-kissed like this. Lucius knew he was losing a battle. Or possibly a war. Or maybe he had lost it a while ago. She leaned in to kiss him again, and he didn't complain. It was the essence of Saturnalia, a stolen moment that would have never happened in the normal order of things. The festival was not to be questioned, or dissected. His head felt foggy as if he had drunk unwatered wine, and he just went with the desire and the rush. His hand tugged on her hair, tilting her head up, and his lips traveled from hers along her jaw, and the spot below her ear. She had the scent of smoke, and she tasted better than anything he'd felt before.

"I'm not just some girl you can kiss at a festival and banter about later to your pleb or slave friends...Or your prostitute lovers, I should say." "I don't..." "I'm Ovinia Camilla!" Alright then. "And I'm yelling at you because I... Because you're awful and I hate you and I don't know why I want you!" "Well, me neither." This time, he kissed her deliberately. His hands went to frame her face, fingers sliding into her hair. It could have been a gentle, romantic kiss, but somehow they were so far from that point it ended up echoing her words. I don't know why I want you. Frustration, desperation. Hunger. Somehow, he was going to regret all of this sooner than later, but right now, he really did not care.

"You started it!" "I... how?!" "Y-you baited me into singing that day and have made my life miserable since! Had you been normal and nice that dinner with your brother would have been fine and you wouldn't have run away to ruin your life and mine and we...I might be happily married by now!" Unbelievable. The woman was unbe-fucking-lievable. Lucius was at a loss of words for a few moments, staring at her with his mouth agape as she blamed him for... basically everything. He shook his head. "So, what? I made you sing a song, and play at a festival, and made a few jokes, and now your entire life is my fault, or are you just yelling at me because you hated it that the kiss was that good?"

They managed to get out of the worst of the crowd, and turn a corner before Ovinia rounded on him. Lucius, a little late, braced himself again for being punched, or kicked, or maimed. Or worse... rejected. "I thought you hated me? You're always so awful to me." "I'm awful to you?" he gasped, not sure how to respond. "It's not like you have been very friendly to me either!" Vibia somewhere in the distance was having the gods smile on her. Just because she acts like she hates you... Lucius ran his free hand through his hair. He couldn't even blame the wine. He had not had any.

The young man did the reasonable thing and got lost before he would have gotten punched in the nose. Lucius still watched Ovinia intently, holding her close as the crowd started moving again. "Yes." Yes what?! "Y-Yes, we need to go. Now." Oh. She stepped back from his embrace and he immediately missed her. She did not let go of his hand, though, so they wove their way through the crowd together. He followed, letting her find the street they needed to turn onto, out of the main procession, to find the... food place. His mind was still trying to catch up, but his emotions were already way ahead of themselves. Gods dammit all, he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted... he needed to get his head on straight. One did not go around kissing patrician girls, especially not when one was not a patrician anymore, especially not if when the girl had been almost engaged to one's brother, especially... Oh, dammit.

Lucius had not been planning on kissing his brother's almost-bride in the middle of the street. This had not been a plan, or even an idea. Especially because said almost-bride was Ovinia Camilla, someone who had already physically assaulted him twice in one hour. And yet, here he was kissing her. And damn, it felt good. The realization shot through his entire body, as she kissed him back. She kissed him back. The kiss had started out as an excuse, trying to find a stable point in the Saturnalia madness - but now it felt like something he desperately wanted. His arm pulled her closer, and he tilted his head into the kiss for another moment. Or two. She pulled back soon enough. Lucius looked down at her, dazed. Shit. Vibia was right. "We should go to Melissa's." She didn't hit him. Or yell at him, or knee him between the legs. It took Lucius a moment to find his bearings and realize that she was... pretending it didn't happen? Lucius swallowed. "Is it bad that I want to... do that agai..." "My turn!" a young man yelled next to them, and Lucius looked up to glare at him. "Get lost!"

Oh the crowds were properly riled up now. Wine was almost tangible in the air, and no one really cared much for everyone else around them. Did Ovinia lose him on purpose? She had not looked very comfortable with the crods before. Or the plebs in general. Lucius craned his neck, trying to spot her. He caught a glimpse of dark hair and the sound of her voice, but it was hard to make his way towards her. "And once you've filled your bellies! Fill your lips! Kiss your lover! Kiss your neighbour! Kiss your enemy! Kiss for the King of Saturnalia!" "Oh fu..." A woman spun towards him with a merry grin. She was pretty, with freckles, normally he would have been all for this, because of the rules of Saturnalia. Everyone around him was suddenly kissing, then swapping partners, and kissing gain. Except for one person who was shrieking. Dammit. He ducked away from a woman, and while everyone stopped moving for a moment, lunged through the crowd, just in time to see someone grabbing for Ovinia. "LUCIUS!" "Kiss for the king!" Another woman spun towards him, freshly kissed and smiling, wreathed in flowers. "I'm sorry, there you go." Lucius acted mostly on instinct, grabbing her by the shoulder and spinning her on, into the man that was leaning towards Ovinia. Once they collided he moved too, finally grabbing hold of Ovinia around the waist and turning her, although people around them were definitely not done picking new partners to kiss. Dammit. Someone already pulled on his shoulder. "Sorry." He did the only thing left to do, and leaned down, kissing Ovinia. She was most definitely, decidedly, 100% going to murder him for this.

Ovinia shoved him with considerable force. Lucius blinked, surprised, and stumbled into someone, losing his balance for a moment. She took the opportunity to bolt away from him, getting lost in the crowds. "Ovinia!" She was tall, but so were many other people. It was not easy to spot anyone. Somewhere up ahead in the procession, people cheered again. The princeps of Saturnalia made declarations that everyone had to follow; so far, it seemed like he had told everyone to drink. As if they needed to be told. "Ovinia?..."

"Thank you, noted. I presume you're basing this advice off lived experience?" "Of what?" Was she asking if he had ever been in love? Or felt desire? Or if he had ever married for either of those...? "Don't answer that. I don't want to know." "Whatever." They moved on through the crowd. At least she knew where she was going. Kind of. "Unfortunately my options for attractive wealthy Senators in their thirties and forties who I love are limited. So it probably won't go on my list." "Never hurts to hope" he smirked. Maybe there was a senator like that out there. "And if a middle aged senator in a toga doesn't sweep you off your feet, you can just be one of those matrons who take a lover..." Too far, Lucius. Way too far.

"Who doesn't? So you want to be in love?" "Yes." Obviously. Everyone did. Sure, love was a mess, made people into idiots, and was frustrating and exhausting but... "With your prostitute?" "No! What?... No." Ovinia started walking, and Lucius followed, because he did not want to lose her in the crowd. She got a head start because her question stunned him. Why would he...? "Shut up. I'm not speaking about this with you. You really want to talk about whether I desired your brother?" "... gods, no." he frowned, keeping up with her and being jostled too. As a rule, he never wanted to think about his brother's love life, let alone his love life with... Ovinia. Whose love life he also did not want to... "You asked. For what it's worth, a marriage is probably a lot easier if you are actually attracted to the other person. Keep that on your list."

"I... Don't be stupid. Love grows in a marriage, not before." "That is objectively not true. History would be a lot more boring if it was." he pointed out. All the famous love stories, myths of lovers and legends of affairs that ruined kingdoms and inspired poets? None of that was marriage stuff. Ovinia might have been more sheltered than he'd given her credit for. "It doesn't matter anyway. You don't marry for love in my class. Remember?" "I never said you wanted to marry for love. I said you wanted to be in love." he pointed out. "Which makes sense, really, because who doesn't? I was just pointing out that that was what you were missing from the picture of the perfect match. Love. And probably desire." he shrugged.

"Fine, fine" he held up his hands in defense, narrowly avoiding hitting someone in the face as they hurried by. There was more singing and more cheers, which made having a conversation a tad more difficult. He flattened his back against the wall too. "At the risk of sounding like a poet: I think you didn't want to marry my brother because you didn't love him." It did sound ridiculous, especially in the context of talking about matches between patrician families. "You want the fancy life, the domus, the children, the social standing, the respect. But you, Ovinia Camilla, also want to be in love." She was a nineteen year old woman. of course she did.

"Oh? Care to enlighten me? It's been weeks and I don't understand." It was kind of obvious, though. So much so that Lucius was fairly sure she would punch him square in the face if he said it out loud. "Not that it matters anyway. My Father let me off with Gaius because you were also a factor, you made it an easy choice to say no. I'm not so sure I'll have the same opportunity with the next man." "I don't know, my reputation is pretty toxic. I am sure I can ruin any man if I want to." It was a joke, but he suddenly felt lighter. Ovinia was frustrated, angry, and even sad, but she was at least not heartbroken. Lucius shook his head. "You're gonna kick me again if I tell you what I think."

"I don't know. I don't know...I don't know..." Ovinia looked frustrated. Exasperated. Lost. This was not generally the Saturnalia mood one was going for. She should have been celebrating, with or without her family. On the other hand, Lucius was intrigued now. Maybe if there was another reason she did not want to marry Gaius, it really was not all his fault... or at least he did not irreversibly break two lovers apart. "The last time we met he said he would give me all I wanted...a family, children, a good life...but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't get rid of that it wasn't enough... I don't know what's wrong with me." Lucius gave her a long look. Something just clicked, and it almost made him smile, because it was so not the usual Ovinia, and yet... very true. Someone jostled them again and she yelped. "Make way for the Princeps Of Saturnalia!" someone yelled, and people cheered. "I think I do." he said, before he could think about it. It probably came out way wrong.

"You don't understand. You said it wasn't your fault that people like me don't get to do what they want, remember?" He recalled their fight in the street with clarity; it was pretty much burned into his brain, even if Titus had not reminded him every other day. It had been a pretty spectacular fight, made all the more baffling because he still had no idea why it was a fight at all. "I didn't..." "It's still true. I don't get to do what I want. I get to say no, or yes, but that's it. I might deserve a husband that... Treasures me. Doesn't mean that's what I'll get." He sighed. She was not wrong, but now it was going to be his fault forever if she ended up with an asshole for a husband. The laugh was surprising, though; did she think it was that ridiculous that someone would think she was that important...? Finally, she took pity on him. Which was probably worse. "It's not all your fault. Mostly it is. You need to know that, but not all. I was never... I was never convinced your brother was the right man for me." Lucius blinked. Wait, what? "Why not?" And what was the right man like, anyway, if not Gaius?...

"There's nothing to fix. It's done." Lucius had not visited his brother for a few days, and now he dreaded the next encounter. Gaius had lost the engagement to Ovinia, which would have been a very good match. She clearly blamed him for it, and so would Gaius. "I have a meeting next week with another suitor. Lucius Sempronius Atratinus. Family the wrong side in the civil war but unmarried and rich. And not soft-hearted, from what I hear. Gaius is a good man. Too good. He should never have let you ruin your reputation, and his own. I don't need a husband like that." Lucius winced. But not because of the stab at his actions, this time. There was something else beneath that. I don't need a husband like that... He thought of Ovinia marrying someone else. Someone rich, and powerful, and hard-hearted... there was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. No woman needed a cruel husband. Or deserved one. "Was it still worth it?" He stared at her,but she was looking away. He understood why she hated him. How could he ever think she would like him? And how was he supposed to answer that question?... "You need a husband that treasures you." he noted more quietly. What the fuck was he doing, giving out advice?... "It might not be my brother, because I fucked that up, but that doesn't mean you should settle for less."

"Is it funny to you? Do you really want to make such a joke?" Her reaction, once again, baffled Lucius. She was off her game today, which was understandable, since she had set the building and herself on fire. But she was also more hostile to him than usual. Which was saying a lot. "I wasn't..." "You should speak to your brother...ex-brother, more frequently. My family said no to his suit. Any arrangement that might have been made is off the table." He's still my... The comment never turned into words. Now it was Lucius' turn to stare in shock as people jostled past. "Oh, shit." he gasped, the idea sinking in that he may have, actually, for real, ruined his brother's life. And Ovinia's. "Ovinia, I... I never wanted that to happen. Gaius has nothing to do with this. He's a good man. He's... Shit. I need to fix this."

"Don't touch me. You don't get to touch me." Lucius winced, and drew his arm back. She sounded serious. He was generally a person who did not mind touching, and in this case, being physically protective. But she said no, and that was a serious matter. A stranger putting an arm around a patrician woman, even during Saturnalia, was a world of trouble, and not seen kindly. And he did not want to scare her. "Sorry." "They'll pass soon. Then we can go and you can go and win your fuc-...walnuts." "It'll be a minute. I think it's the princeps' procession." he craned his neck, trying to look over the crowd. Where was greenery, flowers, costumes, and a whole lot of laughter. The Princeps of Saturnalia had taken to the streets with his merry followers. Lucius usually lived for this kind of thing, but he did not want to leave Ovinia's side, and she was visibly tense. "While we wait, do you want me to apologize for messing up your fiance's family reputation again? I'm getting good at it."

The crowds were cheerful and rowdy, the first day of a week-long festival in the air. As they turned onto a somewhat wider street the crowds grew bigger too. And more drunk. Lucius glanced up at the insulae. Fire hazards, all of them. Good thing most of these people celebrated outside. Someone was roasting chestnuts. Ovinia looked ready to bolt. The crowd jostled her, and Lucius held out an arm to keep her steady. "After you leave me, are you going to celebrate with your people? I don't want to keep you waiting." "My people?" he grinned. He knew what she meant. "Yes, once our patrolling is done. There are walnuts to be won." Gods knew he had no actual money to gamble with. "I remember where we are. It's a few streets over." "Lead the way." they walked along, with music and laughter and the smell of cheap wine and sweets (and people) in the air. They turned another corner, and the crowd suddenly surged, with music flooding the street: trumpets, drums, shouting, some kind of a procession. Lucius stepped to the side of the street against the wall, pulling Ovinia along and wrapping an arm around her shoulders as people hurried past, towards the music. "Oh, wow. Did not expect that."

“Don’t you have work to do?” "I do. But technically, I'm doing it." He had left the building to find someone affected by the fire. It was a thin excuse, but he knew Titus would have his back while they figured something out. He helped Ovinia up by the other hand, the one that was not burned and covered in honey. “Which way to the poor streets? I’ll know my way from there.” "Please never ask that again out loud" Lucius chuckled. Poor streets, indeed. She only lived a few corners from them, and she had no idea. He reminded himself that it was not her fault. "This way." As they walked away from the rich houses of the Esquiline, and towards the insulae, the mood of the festivities changed too. While patricians celebrated in their homes, with guests and luscious parties, the plebeian neighborhoods took the streets. People were dressed in colors, wearing wreaths and even masks, singing and dancing, and drinking copious amounts of wine. There was chatter and laughter all over the place, and street vendors everywhere offering everything from sweets and fruit to opportunities to gamble legally for once.

When all else failed, buying food at a popina or thermopolia was always an option. Although most places were extremely crowded during Saturnalia, and for good reason. ”Probably? I…I shouldn’t go though, I should send a slave. Father wouldn’t be happy with me out like this.” "It's still Saturnalia" he pointed out "You can't send slaves to get the food intended for them." He stood up, offering her a hand "Come on. I'll walk there with you. People are already getting drunk and ridiculous all over the place. Let's go find some food."

“You were baiting me. I don’t…I don’t know why you always do, whenever you see me. If it’s not singing it’s soaking me with water and then a prostitute and then... But it doesn’t matter now, right?” "I had nothing to do with Vibia being at the party." Lucius sighed. Seriously, that was the least of his crimes, after making Ovinia sing in public and get soaked to the bone. And ruining the family reputation. They had more pressing issues now anyway: finding food. “I don’t know…Alexius showed me, my bodyguard, when I met him…I met the owner…Melita…Mel…Melissa, I think. It’s by all the poor blocks.” "You... went to see a popina with your bodyguard?" Lucius blinked, genuinely surprised this time. He chuckled, shaking his head. "Ovinia Camilla, you are full of surprises. You think you can find that place again?"

“I thought you l-left to lead them all. Fail already?” "I didn't fail." he frowned, too much of his attention focused on treating her burns. He tried to be careful, but she was clearly in pain. Honey was good for burns not getting infected. He knew it from experience. "I am working my way up." Waaay up. “And chicken. With vegetables. It was a simple recipe. You’re enjoying it then? This?” "Oh yes, I love being kicked in the shin by people whose house I just saved." he rolled his eyes, finished with treating her wounds. He licked the rest of the honey off his fingers. "Yeah, I'm enjoying it. Never a boring moment... So, this place you were heading to, where is it exactly?"

”It’s what’s done. It wasn’t some great rebellion, like joining the vigiles. It’s the festival. I was just doing my duty. Poorly, clearly.” "Saturnalia is not about duty." he watched her slip the rings off; they left marks on her red skin. “Are you in charge of them all then…? In there?” "Gods, no." he chuckled "And they never miss a chance to remind me of that. But that's alright. They are good people." He held her hand gently once the rings were gone, and dipped his fingers into the small jar. It was filled with honey; he dabbed some onto the burns. "What were you trying to make?"

She lifted her hand. It was burned, and also, who wore jewelry for cooking?... Lucius bit back the comment. Instead, he unclasped his cloak. It was plain and already smelled like smoke, but given how she was dressed, she was really in no place to complain about it. He wrapped it around her shoulders. He felt like they had been here before. “I’m a bitch, I know, I know…” "I never said that." he frowned, gently examining her hand. "You tried to make food for the slaves, for the festival. I would have never imagined that. You went about it all wrong, but you did try. Your mother should appreciate that, at least." he noted. "We should take your rings off."