Sara

She'd bought some time, but it was gone in an instant and she nodded mutely, breathlessly. He seemed to mean it. She meant it when she thought it before; death would be preferable than a life without a tongue. Maybe death would also be preferable to a life if he dishonoured her? She choked as she was yanked to her feet and then thrust against the wall. She felt the fine cord from her belt wrap around her hands. Her breath was hot and wet against the walls and her tears were clouding her eyes. She choked and her tears came harder and hotter as he yanked off her palla. "Please..." She said in almost a whisper, misjudging what he wanted from her. Alexius had said some forced others. Was that what was happening? Would it be better if she told him she hadn't...? Or would that make it a more likely outcome? Thoughts swirled in her head and she felt dizzy. Please somebody save me. She choked again as he moved her hair and pressed her face into the wall, trying to get away from him. She nodded in jerky movements at his instruction and held her breath, coming to a moment of clarity. If he touched her, is he dishonoured her, she'd scream. Maybe then he'd slit her throat and it would be over. "W-why are you doing this?" TAG: @Atrice

She had been so close. The door was in a fingers reach but...it felt like an eternity away because before she could do anything or say one more word, she was on her back and the man was above her. She let out an anguished sob, tears spilling down over her cheeks and onto the packed dirt floor beneath her. "N-no," She choked out, gasping and shaking her head. She felt the knife against her side and the burning pain as it managed to cut her as she trembled. It was only a little though, the blade was caught in the folds of her palla and her chiton. "N-no, no I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry no...please..." She was begging. It was pathetic. If she lost her tongue...he might as well kill her. It would be better to be dead. She groped out one of her hands, the one that had been burned only a few nights ago and found the cord that had been her belt. She held it up compliantly. "Please...here." She was handing a restraint to him on a silver platter but...better that than lose her tongue. Maybe he'd be merciful? Please Gods...either way, get this over with. TAG: @Atrice

If she turned around and put her hands behind her it would be over, she knew that. He said he'd hurt her. He said he didn't want her money. She shouldn't have removed her belt. That's not what Alexius would have done. Or Lucius. But she wasn't over six foot and muscled. She vaguely knew how to throw a punch but didn't know where to aim it. She felt her heart hit against her ribs, or it felt like it anyway and her chest ached. She glanced to the door again, to his side. If she turned round, what if he slit her throat? What if he...? That would be worse than death. At least if she was dead she wouldn't suffer his hands on her... She nodded and dropped her hands. "Okay...okay..." She took a deep breath and made to almost turn but before she did she sprung on her heel and made towards the door instead. She'd have to knock into him, but was banking on surprise more than anything and she almost made it. She reached out her hand, clawing for the door and opened her mouth to scream; "HELP!" TAG: @Atrice

Ovinia made a 'hmm' sound, but she listened and took in his opinion. "You're really a master of this, aren't you?" She gave him an amused look. A master of the art of love or...lust or desire, at least. She could take all the help she could get though, and wasn't going to turn down free advice. She swallowed and sighed, trying to distract herself with the image and women on the sands. "You do?" she gave him a curious look and then grinned broadly, eyes flashing. "Well...that's something to make my brothers jealous with. You'll have to introduce me to her." There she went again, making demands but...she never realised it was bad to. It was just how she had been raised - she asked for something and it was delivered. She didn't mean it to be difficult or cruel. "Such is the lot of women. All women." She chuckled and shook her head, craning her neck to see the action more clearly. "And the women...are they slaves as well? Like the male gladiators? Or women...of other professions...?" TAG: @Atrice

Ovinia made a gasping, pained sound as he kicked her gold away. What sort of criminal didn't want the money? Surely he knew how dangerous this position was for him? Surely he should take her money and run. Luisa would realise she was gone by now, wouldn't she? She would be found. Somebody would find her. But for now she was here and he was staring at her, the glint of his knife catching off the dull grey remains of sunlight from outside the broken door. She opened her mouth to scream but then shut it again. He asked her not too. Ovinia had always followed the rules...or mostly...followed the rules. She'd have to now as well, she figured, if she had any chance of survival. She nodded mutely, eyes darting between is knife and the door but her fingers trembled and worked at the thin braided belt she wore over her chiton, under her palla. It took her a few attempts to undo it, her fingers kept slipping. When she finally pulled it free, she threw it towards him and then recoiled against the wall of the hut - eyes still fixed on his knife and the door behind him. It would take her only a few moments. She could try and run for it. Her palla was weighing her down though... "W-what's your name?" She asked, eyes scanning him. "I-I'm Ovinia." get him talking Ovinia...get him distracted... TAG: @Atrice

She tumbled into the shack and put her hands out, colliding with the wall to stop herself from falling. At least there was some distance between them now. But there were no windows in here, just the door. The door he was standing in front of. She felt her breath quicken, struggling to breathe. She was going to die. She was going to die here. Alone. Scared. Oh Gods, oh Gods. She was still crying but she heard him now. "Please..." She started but she watched with wide, panicked eyes as he reached into his bag. She remembered the knife from last time. Maybe somebody had seen her? Maybe somebody was coming to the door right that second and and would kick it down and fish her out? Maybe the vigiles would start their patrol early? She backed herself up until she was against the wall, keeping her arms oustretched in front of her in defence. "Please...I'm...I'm important, my father is important, he's a judge he....I have gold. Lots." She removed one of her hands from their stance and tried to fumble desperately with the coin purse at her belt. She managed to undo it and threw it at his feet. TAG: @Atrice

She did. She really did hate him, but she hated him because how on the Gods green earth was she supposed to go back and live her life and meet her suitors now? Her eyes raked her eyes over him and made another 'mhmm' sound at what she saw. She felt his fingers on her hip and couldn't help but arch her body into his touch. She had no idea what she was doing but it seemed so...natural. "And that's why I hate you." She mumbled with a shake of her head and a lopsided smile. "I have no idea what I'm going to do now and it's all your fault. I...have to go and meet Sempronius Atratinus next week. I have to go and get food for my family and organise the restoration of the k-kitchen and all I...all I want to do is for you to kiss me again." She groaned in frustration and slumped back against the wall, her face forming into a comical pout. "Big problem. Any bright ideas?" TAG: @Chevi

His nails stung against her arms and she felt tears already begin to spill from her eyes over onto the cloth covering her mouth. She always cried - when she was upset, when she was frustrated, when she was angry and now when she was scared. She'd heard stories from when she was younger of citizens being stolen and sold into slavery. Was that what was happening? Or was it much, much worse? She nodded mutely against his hands and allowed herself to be dragged off the street, away from Luisa if she had bothered to glance back. It had happened so quickly, in the space of a minute she had gone from daydreaming over the first night of Saturnalia and worrying about the burned out shell of her families kitchen to being in the clutches of a man who wanted to do Gods knew what. She started crying harder. TAG: @Atrice

Ovinia listened, biting hard on the inside of her cheek until she could taste the metallic tang of blood. He was trying, the Gods bless him, to explain. She hadn't exactly given him an easy ride and she glanced sideways at him with a sort of...apologetic look. "And...you know you like somebody when...your heart beats faster? You smile when you think of them?" She gave him a look. "I liked somebody once...I thought about him a lot, so often but...is that liking somebody?" Or was it merely a girlhood infatuation? She couldn't be sure. From the vague descriptions Alexius was giving her, it sounded like probably not. She bit her lip to smother a laugh and shook her head. "I don't think I'll be forcing anybody." She was a young woman after all. Who would she force? She glanced down at the sands as he indicated to the women now parading about beneath them, scantily clad. Alexius was clearly looking for a distraction and well...she would give him some respite...for now. He'd been good to her. "I haven't seen them before but the men of my family talk about them," she chuckled, "One called Thessala, I think. A witch. Are they any good?" TAG: @Atrice

She let out a noise, somewhere between a groan and a moan as his lips moved from hers and found a spot beneath her jaw. Gods above. She gasped. Was this what this was supposed to feel like? Desire and attraction? She understood it now. She saw the meaning of Alexius' words so clearly it was almost impossible that she had lived nineteen years up until this point without this. "Lucius..." Her voice was hoarse as her unmaimed fingers ran through the mess of curls on his head but her fingers kept his head where it was. "Lucius we can't..." Keep going, she meant. And she couldn't do anymore. Even wrapped up in pleasure like she was, she knew that. He, surely, had to know that too. They'd crossed so many lines already and it was intoxicating but she couldn't... "Lucius..." She said it again, slightly more forcefully this time and tried to turn his head up to look at hers. But what else could she say? "I hate you." Well. That was...something. TAG: @Chevi

It happened out of nowhere and she felt herself begin to choke out a protest before something was clamped over her mouth. She still tried to scream as she felt the arm around her and a voice whispering against her throat. Gods protect me, Gods protect me. She remembered the voice, clear as day, how could she not? Dramatic things happened so rarely to women of her class and her station that when they did they stuck in one's mind. The night she'd been accosted and seen Alexius, the feeling of a blade at her stomach still came to her at night. Only this time there was no Alexius. It was day time, in Saturnalia. She had her slave - who was still up ahead, oblivious. This shouldn't be happening. She lashed out as he pulled her towards one of the derelict buildings that littered these streets around the Colosseum. "Please..." She said, muffled against the cloth - she wasn't sure if it was even intelligible, let alone if he heard her. She thrashed out again, her heart hammering harder than it ever had before against her ribs, in her throat, in her temple. Please, I don't want to die. TAG: @Atrice

Oh gods she did want him. She made absolutely no attempt to protest as he pulled her in for another kiss. Without the direction of the princeps of Saturnalia and the crowd moving around them, they really had no excuse but...she really didn't give a shit. She wound her arms around his neck to pull him down, leaning into an innate side of her that somehow knew what to do when she really didn't. Decimus had been fleeting, almost chaste kisses snatched when they could be taken. This was different - frenetic and heated and everything she didn't know she needed. She kissed him back - it wasn't one-sided. She wanted him as much as he clearly needed her and one of the arms and her un-burned hand moved from his neck to his chest, but not to push him away, rather to keep him steady and keep him close as her back made contact with the wall of the alley they had stopped in. Nobody paid them any attention - they were just another young couple in the throes of passion of Rome's most celebrated holiday. When she finally broke for air she was gasping, cheeks flushed, lips parted. She felt stirred up and wrung out at the same time. Her eyes were dark as they flicked over his face. So this was what she had been missing. This was why whenever she looked at him or whenever he made another little barb she felt that same flutter in the pit of her chest. They really should go and get the food. The smell of smoke still clung to her tunica and her hair and the singed flower crown now askew on the top of her head. She really didn't want to though and she leant up again to catch his lips again. TAG: @Chevi

Oh she could just punch him. Lucius, her brother, had shown her how. She could just ball up her fist and swipe that smug, confused look right off of his stupid, handsome face. Her cheeks flushed red. "No!" Yes. She didn't have the brain space for this, as the pieces of her confusion over the last few months slotted and clunked and juddered into place. Her infatuation with Decimus had been just that - girlhood idealisation, not anything deeper she had come to realise. This was different and the dawning realisation made the colour on her cheeks deepen even more. Thank the Gods she could blame the cold for it. She sniffed and folded her arms across her chest defensively. "I'm not just some girl you can kiss at a festival and banter about later to your pleb or slave friends...Or your prostitute lovers, I should say. I'm Ovinia Camilla!" She was trying to sound imperious, serious but it was just amusing. "And I'm yelling at you because I..." She groaned and threw her arms up in a visible sign of her frustration, "Because you're awful and I hate you and I don't know why I want you!" TAG: @Chevi

She had been awful, but she maintained that she'd only done so because he had started it. He'd started it with the singing and the pranks at Neptuanlia and that awkward, awful dinner with their brothers. He'd teased her at the party with Vibia present and been - frankly - a selfish shit when she'd seen his choice first hand outside the smouldering insula. "You started it!" It was the most ridiculous, adolescent comeback she could have thought of and she finally released the grip on his hand, throwing it and her maimed one up in frustration. "Y-you baited me into singing that day and have made my life miserable since! Had you been normal and nice that dinner with your brother would have been fine and you wouldn't have run away to ruin your life and mine and we...I might be happily married by now!" or at least she would have been married. Gaius was too good for her though, she maintained that. TAG: @Chevi

He was silent, which she didn't take as a good sign. Not that she really noticed herself, mind. Her own thoughts were circling and swirling and the knot that had sat in her chest and her belly for weeks had tightened around her until it felt like she might snap. The streets were still busy, which would be her excuse for why she kept onto his hand should he ask, but as she slowed to a side street she still didn't let go, even as the revellers thinned out and she could have. She slowed again, to a stop and spun on her heel. The silence of the minute or so walk to get here hadn't done her much good. It certainly hadn't calmed her and she was back to being indignant-Ovinia. "I thought you hated me?" She choked. "You're always so awful to me." TAG: @Chevi

"Is it bad that I want to... do that agai..." No. Because I do too. She was grateful for the interruption of another young man, even if he was pawing at her shoulder. Lucius arm was still around her waist though, holding her steady. She ignored the frisson of something that ran the length of her spine. Oh. Her conversation with Alexius made sense. Oh. "Yes." Yes it was bad or yes she wanted to do it again too? She didn't know. Both. Neither. She swallowed, regaining her senses slowly, one at a time, little by little. "Y-Yes, we need to go. Now." She moved her good hand to pry his arm from her waist but didn't let go of his hand as she tried to find a route through the crowd. She didn't even know how long she'd been out of the house but she knew the minutes were ticking down. She still didn't let go of his hand though. Her fingers wound through his instead as she managed to make her way to the edge of the crowd, her senses scattered. TAG: @Chevi

She didn't want to kiss the grinning lout who was ducking for her lips, despite her fervent stamp onto his toes. But then he was gone, bound up in the arms of a young blonde woman and she was gone too, another arm around her waist pulling her away, spinning her until she was face to face with somebody ten minutes ago she would have dreaded seeing. Now she was just relieved. She felt another hand on her shoulder, trying to tug her away as people cheered and kissed and laughed in unison. Lucius' hands stayed firmly where they were though. And then she heard an apology and blinked up, confused before her vision was clouded with his head coming down to hers. Oh. Oh. She'd been kissed before. Twice. Two snatched moments with a man she had wanted to marry, who had convinced her their lives were inseparable. But they had been snatched, quick moments in the corridor as he left her fathers house, not this in a crowd surrounded by Saturnalia revellers. She kissed him back though, just for a few heartbeats. She'd blame it on the rush of emotions if he pressed her; relief at seeing him, coupled with annoyance and anger and fear at being stranded in this place. When she withdrew her eyes were still closed and her lips were still parted and she was...frowning. Oh. She cracked one eye and then another to see him looking at her. She felt another tug on her shoulder and somebody else's hands vying for her waist. "We should go to Melissa's." TAG: @Chevi

She heard her name be called but over the din of the crowds, she couldn't place where it came from. She reached up to stand on our tiptoes to try and see Lucius but couldn't. She felt her throat go dry as everybody around her downed from their wineskins and cup, spilling droplets of viscous wine on her skin. She winced. "And once you've filled your bellies!" A voice, merry and loud called from somewhere up near the front of the crowd and she strained to hear it over the music and the laughter, "Fill your lips! Kiss your lover! Kiss your neighbour! Kiss your enemy! Kiss for the King of Saturnalia!" A racuous cheer went up throughout the people near to her and she was jostled between elbows and armpits and winecups. Somebody snaked an arm and a hand round her waste, grin on his face as he leaned in for a kiss having withdrew from another partner. She shrieked and stamped down hard with her foot. "LUCIUS!" The man blinked, confused, out of his wits with wine and tried again. TAG: @Chevi

"Hope is foolishness." She shook her head, interrupting him mid sentence, before letting him continue. Was he purposefully trying to drive her insane? Probably. Did he not realise that with his brother, the fire, the injury, the crowds, her family, and seeing him that she wasn't in the mood for his irreverent jokes and idealistic view of the world? Was he that self-absorbed. "Grow up." She moved to shove him as hard as she could with one, functioning, un-crisped hand and sped up her pace. She might have been tall but she was willowy and quick on her feet (trampled though they might be) and compared to his bulk she could duck and dive between the crowds quicker and more nimbly than he could. She found herself purposefully separated from him and in a throng of plebeians she didn't know before she had a chance to react properly and realise what an utterly, utterly stupid idea that had been. She looked around but couldn't see him and felt her heart begin to hammer against her chest. Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot. TAG: @Chevi

She was tall for a woman but still had to tilt her head to look up at his face and shoot him a glare. Which she did. With gusto. "Thank you, noted. I presume you're basing this advice off lived experience?" She arched a brow and kept his gaze, even as they were jostled. She didn't want to think about his love life. He already made her feel woefully uncomfortable, whether he meant to or not, and thinking about his lived experience only tightened the knot in her stomach. "Don't answer that. I don't want to know." She demanded with a shake of her head. He'd known that prostitute at the party. That was what had made her so uncomfortable, she realised with a sickening feeling. It's why she'd been so bothered that she'd asked and harangued poor Alexius. Why she cared so much though...that was an enigma. "Unfortunately my options for attractive wealthy Senators in their thirties and forties who I love are limited. So it probably won't go on my list." Her hand was knocked again and she smothered a mewl of pain by pressing her lips together firmly. TAG: @Chevi

Ovinia didn't even attempt to suppress her eye roll. "Who doesn't? So you want to be in love? With your prostitute?" It was a low, easy blow, but she felt flustered and unsure of herself, as if she was walking on a rocking ship which she couldn't settle. She felt unbelievably uncomfortable and visibly squirmed away from the wall, into the mass of the crowd as she began to slowly - in between the bodies of revellers - walk towards Melissa's place. She couldn't believe she was discussing this. With him. She also couldn't believe how right he was. "Shut up." She called out to him as she began the slow walk in the crowd, not bothering to check if he was joining her. Her burned hand got knocked by a fellow walks and she winced, hissing in pain. "I'm not speaking about this with you." It was excruciating enough to have a discussion with Alexius, who was the most open and unpretentious man in the world. "You really want to talk about whether I desired your brother?" TAG: @Chevi

"I..." She did. She did want to be in love. Whatever love was or felt like or whatever. Obviously. Her cheeks burned bright red. "Don't be stupid." She said with a petulant glare. "Love grows in a marriage, not before." She thought she'd felt it once, glimpsed it, with Decimus. But it had been months since she'd seen him and absence hadn't made the heart grow fonder. She had thought he was what she wanted, that the equite with his easy grin and knowing glance at her figure was what would be her future. She'd even taken the notion to her father, that was how serious she was, but it had come to nothing and as the seasons had begun to change and new fancies and confounding, confusing feelings had filled her mind and her body, Decimus began to lose his appeal. "It doesn't matter anyway." She huffed and flattened herself further into the wall as the last bulge of the crowd began to surge past them. "You don't marry for love in my class. Remember?" TAG: @Chevi

20th December (third day of Saturnalia) Saturnalia felt like it would never end and it was intolerable. If it wasn't the fire that had almost burned down her domus, or the maddening encounter with the newest recruit of the vigiles then it was the hangovers that seemed to infect her house and her city that drove her mad. The smell of stale wine had lingered even after the previous nights festivities and she'd needed to get out to get some fresh air. She'd sent the slave girl she'd been with ahead a few paces as they made their way back from the markets, arms and baskets (well...hers) laden with food given they couldn't prepare anything in the smoking ruin of their kitchen. They'd taken the long way back to their house on the Esquiline but Ovinia had relished the peace and the chance to clear her head. The sun was a few hours off of setting but the grey December day cast the streets in an ominous light. The fresh chill, however, cleared out her lungs as she followed twenty or so feet behind her slave, taking in the view as they circled round the Colleseum and the derelict insulae near them. Her pace slowed further as a few passers by - drunk from the night before no doubt - almost barrelled into. "Watch where you're going." She muttered as she stretched her legs and lengthened her stride to try and catch up with her slave girl, disappearing into the slow-moving, hungover mass of people coming the other way. "Lucia, slow down!" TAG: @Atrice

"Shut up." She mumbled with a glare in his direction. He was trying to be funny again, but it wasn't working. Not really anyway. He looked a little less...ill now though. It was irritating and she frowned. Why was she always the last to know anything? "I'll kick you if you don't tell me." She countered with a glare. "And I have an injured foot, so you know I'm being serious" TAG: @Chevi

She blinked at him. Male pleasure seemed innate, now she'd finally bloody figured out what it all meant, but female pleasure less so. She opened her mouth to ask a question but slammed it shut at his...offer. She didn't think it was possible for her cheeks to grow any redder, but she was wrong and they did - flaming and burning. He seemed just as surprised as her that the...offer slipped out, as he tried to correct himself. She praised the Gods that nobody she knew was around to hear this conversation. "I understand it plenty now. Thank you." She mumbled with a fake-cough to clear her throat. She scrunched her fingers into her chiton, feeling more awkward than she ever had before. Not only was she a moron that didn't understand - seemingly - the most basic of facts, buts he was also now getting entangled in double entendres and offers of....service with men she had no business flirting with. She hadn't even meant to! "How..." She cleared her throat again, "How do you decide who you like then? Like enough to...bed that is? You don't have to wait until marriage." She glanced across at him, desperate to move the conversation on from where they'd ended up. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. TAG: @Atrice