Revelations

[Atrice]

She jumped when he called her name louder and then she backed into the corner on the bed. Tertius looked at her, something wasn’t right here. She wasn’t this way last time he came to see her. The medicus had said too that something was a bit strange with her, that she didn’t seem to care to pay attention to him and she barely spoke or seemed to listen. She did as told, when he examined her, but she did not really react, wasn’t that what he said? And now she sat there, saying she didn’t understand.

 And then tears rolled down her cheeks. Gods, really? Tears? He’d had it with Charis and all of her schemes! Did she really believe he’d fall for that now? And to think he’d put her on a pedestal – but no more of that! Then she suddenly said she was sorry and didn’t know what to do.

 “You’re sorry? Genuinely sorry?” Tertius asked and walked a little closer to the bed, “And what are you sorry about, Charis? Tell me that.” There was a chance she was genuine this time, he thought. She seemed upset and afraid. Maybe she’d finally learned? He watched her intently, waiting for her answer.

@Sara

[Sara]

Charis retreated on the bed, pulling herself tightly into the corner. She wasn't sure why she was afraid, but she felt fear run through her like a current nonetheless. He seemed unsure and she didn't know why. She didn't know why - in her confusion - any of this was happening. She wrapped her arms around her legs again and rested her face on her knees for a few moments, lightly shuddering as she cried. Everything swam past her but the water was murky and the memories were unclear. She had been placed in here because she had done something - hurt herself, hurt the child? And he was angry at her for that? No, she thought, she had been rude, hadn't she? Was that it? 

After a few more moments of tense silence as she trembled upset she finally lifted her head. Her eyes were not focused - even as he stood close to her - and her face crumpled with confusion; "I...I think I was rude?" She bit at her lip and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I think I..." Her voice dropped to a choked whisper, "D-did I hurt the child?" Her hands instinctively fell to the bump and she softly stroked it as she talked, "I was horrible," She swallowed, "T-to you, to myself." Every single iota of fire, of determination, of hatred had been driven out of her. All she was now was a shell that didn't know where she was, or the day of the week, or why he was so angry. She felt so afraid she trembled and shook her head; "I'm so sorry domine." Was all she could say. She was so broken, and so unwell. A rational Charis, looking at the broken woman on the bed - her mind so addled - didn't know if the girl would ever recover. 

 

TAG: @Atrice

[Atrice]

He watched her as she sat there, arms wrapped around her legs and hiding her face. Her shoulders shuddered as if she was crying silently, and he was sure she was. Why did women always have to cry when they were upset? Tertius really did not like that trait in women. Finally she lifted her head, while he stood in front of the bed, awaiting her answer patiently. She looked bewildered and said she thought she’d been rude and now she could not remember if she had hurt the child. Then concluded she’d been horrible. Why did she seem so uncertain, as if she couldn’t remember what had happened? Had she forgotten somehow? It made no sense. Then she apologized.

“You were indeed horrible towards yourself and your child… and rude towards me.” Tertius said, “But if this means you truly relent and this apology is genuine… I suppose you can return to your normal routines - in the garden and kitchen.” He explained, “But you will no longer be taking Antonia to the baths; I will assign a proper body slave for her. And you will also no longer spend any nights with me. You can still sleep here, since you’re pregnant.” Maybe he’d have a sleeping place or two more set up in here, so there were two dormitories for the slaves instead of just one. Then there’d also be someone to watch Charis. Something wasn’t right with her.

“So, tell me again, because I need to be certain. You apologize for your previous behavior and you promise me to be a loyal and obedient slave and servant from now on?”

@Sara

[Sara]

Charis' face crumpled, upset and confused. Why was everything so hard to remember? Why had she been so awful to her dominus, to herself? Had she been of sound mind she would have realised the gravity of what he was saying; that she'd be free to resume her life minus the parts she found so unpleasant. She should have been pleased, she should have felt like she'd won - even if she still carried her child. Yet all she felt was confused, and upset. She felt worthless. His punishment had, had its desired effect and then some. All the fire in her had been extinguished and instead all that was left was a shell of a woman. 

She nodded her head silently and kept her eyes on the floor. That's what he had told her that first time they met, wasn't it? That she wasn't to look at him? "Y-yes domine, I apologise," She swallowed the lump in her throat, genuinely upset, "I p-promise to be a loyal and obedient slave and servant from now on." And she genuinely meant it. All the passion she'd had had disappeared into the recesses of her mind as she reacted to the build up and sudden explosion of all the trauma of the last year. Her hands fell to the neat bump and the life growing inside her. "I'm so sorry." Whether she was speaking to Tertius or her child wasn't clear, by the quietness of her voice and the blank look on her face. 

Poor Charis was not well. 

 

TAG: @Atrice

[Atrice]

Something was off with her, but he wasn’t sure what. Why the memory loss – why did she act as if she was upset and sad and couldn’t remember what happened? But he reminded her, because he had certainly not forgotten about what happened. Really he was being merciful here; he could just have removed her entirely, taken her life and there would never be a child or a Charis to confuse his emotions again. But he wasn’t that cruel. And now it would seem she had indeed decided to apologize. She nodded at his words, staring at the floor and then she said it again. She apologized and promised to be loyal and obedient.

Then she held her hands on the little bump on her belly and said she was sorry. He sighed, why did she have to make this so hard for him… and for herself?

“Good. I’m glad you finally decided to apologize.” Tertius finally said, his voice a little softer now, “I don’t know why it took you so long… but now your solitude is over and you can move freely in the house again.” The chance that she’d be sent to the markets or baths anytime soon was not huge though, maybe the baths once a week, so she would at least look presentable. And she would have to have an escort; one of the other female slaves would come with her, to make sure she came back. He didn’t want her to run away or somehow ‘forget’ her duties.

“You can start with cleaning yourself properly and you don’t have to work much today. Get used to being outside again. Tomorrow you can start working.” Tertius then said, thinking he might have someone watch out for her today. Jocasta could be put to that task; to keep an eye on Charis, just in case, “Do you have any further questions right now?”

@Sara

[Sara]

Charis nodded, the dazed look still resolute on her face. "Thank you domine, that is very generous." She said quietly, timidly. In truth - in her current state - she didn't see much need to leave the rooms where she was cloistered, although she knew she should work, and do well and make it up to her domine for her behaviour. Internally, somewhere deep down and buried, the real Charis bristled - aghast at the change happening to herself but powerless to stop it. The trauma of everything had finally caught up with her and shaken the very roots of her being; leaving behind a dazed and confused young woman, desperate for all of the pain to stop. 

She nodded again mutely and moved to stand but had to catch herself on the wall as she wobbled unsteadily on her feet. "No domine, no questions." She said quietly and kept her eyes averted to the floor. Even in the state she was in, however, she was looking forward to the baths. Domine liked it when she looked good, she remembered vaguely, and she would keep herself pretty for him. Inside, the real Charis screamed. 

 

TAG: @Atrice