Deos fortioribus adesse

[Sharpie]

Teutus Quinctilius Varus

January 77

Teutus had some extremely mixed feelings about his family and the situation and arrangements around them. His feelings for Charis could have developed into something more romantic if it had not been for his father's unwitting intervention there, but had transmuted into something more fraternal, as if she were a younger sister. It felt distinctly odd that she was now, technically, his step-mother  - it would be more than technically if Tertius had not been limited to simple concubinatus with her and had been able to marry her properly and legally.

Technical mother-in-law or not, the son she'd borne was his half-brother and Tertius' full acknowledged heir, and that still hurt. Though not as much as it had done once. He'd poured it out to his mother and listened to her own story and thoughts and found some solace, even though nothing could really heal the wounds inflicted over so many years.

Still, none of it was Charis' fault and certainly none could be attributed to any actions of Teutus' half-brother, who was still barely a child. He felt more enthusiasm for Charis' presence this evening than he did for her son, but allowed her to bring her son because his mother would like to see him and would no doubt chide Teutus in her own quiet way if he made Charis leave the boy at home.

It was to be a quiet, private, meal with the three of them - he had little doubt that Proserpina could take care of the child for a short time if he needed a nap or anything.

It took more effort than he'd thought it would to remain seated when a knock sounded at the door. He was no longer a slave, he had slaves of his own now, in fact, and it wouldn't be seemly to answer his own door. Olipor moved to open it, standing aside to let Charis enter.

"Charis," he said, getting to his feet and crossing to offer her a brotherly kiss on the cheek.

 

@Sara @Sarah Title translation: The gods are on the side of the strongest

Edited May 13, 2023 by Sharpie

[Sara]

Charis exited the litter with the guiding hand of one of the household slaves. So new into her freedom she had still yet to purchase a slave girl or proper attendant, and so one of Tertius' boys accompanied her this evening - running alongside the litter on the shortish walk to Teutus and Varinia's home. "Domina." He inclined his head at her as she stood and brushed down the fine fabric of the chiton and palla she was wearing. She was not legally married and thus the stola was not for her, but she didn't mind. The chiton she wore - in a pale blue - was finer than anything she'd ever worn before. The embroidery on the gauzy palla, daisies and other flowers, done to match. 

They climbed the few steps to Teutus' apartment and she spared a glance upwards to where she knew Alexius, and Aia both resided. She resisted the smile that tugged on her lips at the memory of the last time she had visited the former's home. Instead, she set her mind to task. She knew Tertius had been displeased by her attendance tonight without him. So much so that Peregrinus - who should have been balanced on her hip - was required to stay at the domus. She sighed at the though and tried to summon some sense into herself, allowing the slave to knock. A man answered the door and she blinked, glancing past him to see Teutus who promptly rose  to greet her.

Things were remarkably less awkward now they'd cleared the air. Twice. But it would never be quite as it was those first few months in his father's house and she felt a tug in her chest of longing for it. For companionship. Companionship without conditions. She leant to kiss his cheek and pulled down the palla from the simple braided hairstyle she wore. She glanced around for Varinia. "I...I hope I'm not early?" She asked and her slave discretely moved to stand to the side with Olipor. "And I have to extend my apologies," She swallowed, "Peregrinus could not join me." 

 

TAG: @Sarah @Sharpie

[Sarah]

Teutus was a little tense about this evening, his mother could tell. She supposed that all of their positions and relations had changed so much recently that they all now had to work out where they stood in life, and with each other. Varinia of course was happy to welcome almost anyone into her home, but she was sensitive to her son and the difficulties he'd had in his father's household, some of which were represented, and even exacerbated, by the young woman coming to dinner. Not by her own design of course. But if the older woman had anything to do with it, they would all get along swimmingly. They were adults and she maintained that they had that choice.

Like her son, Varinia had to fight instinct as there was a knock on the door and let Olipor open it, revealing the new and very fashionable Charis. She let Teutus greet her first, before approaching to take the younger woman's hands in a motherly fashion. "Charis. You look wonderful." But she couldn't help glancing around her in case there was a slave carrying Charis's little one. If she thought Varinia was going to let Proserpina entertain the darling little fellow, Charis would have another think coming. Alas but he didn't seem to be there, and Charis confirmed he wasn't with her. She didn't look happy about it. Varinia gave her fingers a squeeze. "Not at all, it's lovely to see you." She assured her. "Though he's more than welcome, but I'm sure you know that." Getting Varinia to give him back would be the problem.

She gestured to the table, silent suggestion that they make themselves comfortable. There was no room for reclining couches here and the fare was simpler, but it was theirs and that was what mattered. Prosperpina set a jug of watered wine and a plate with bread, oil and olives on the table as the first course. "How have you been?" Varinia asked Charis sympathetically, well aware how it felt to have one's life turned upside down by a change in circumstance. Hopefully she was enjoying her newfound status.

@Sara @Sharpie

[Sharpie]

Teutus Quinctilius Varus

Teutus felt a marked sense of relief, which he tried not to show, at the realisation that Charis had not brought her son with her. He knew that it was hardly fair to Peregrinus that he felt the way he did, but he was not going to deny his own thoughts and feelings on the matter. They were hardly going to affect the child, or his father, so what did it matter really?

The child's absence might or might not make things easier between them all this evening; Teutus was aware that at least some of the responsibility for how well the evening would go lay on his shoulders. He was suddenly conscious that his friendship with Charis had always been somewhat of a private thing, they had really only spoken together when there was nobody else around. This evening could hardly be worse than that particular dinner when Teutus had discovered he was one of three sons, rather than two, that Tertius had fathered over the years.

However the dinner went, he was not going to make it awkward if he could help. Hopefully the three of them would find their way, as the two of them had.

"I didn't realise you'd met," he said to the women, guiding them to the corner of the room where the meal was to be laid out, and taking his seat. "And you look lovely, Charis - blue suits you."

Looking at the two women together, he could very much see the resemblance between them, at least visually, although Varinia was the taller of the two, and Charis had a softness about her that Varinia didn't have - though that could easily be his imagination.

 

@Sara @Sarah

Edited May 13, 2023 by Sharpie

[Sara]

Charis merely smiled awkwardly, trying her best to be polite. She would have brought Peregrinus if she could - she thought exposure would be the best medicine for Teutus - to make him realise that the little boy really was no threat, as painful as his presence was  but alas Tertius had other ideas as usual. She nodded and followed Teutus as he guided them to he table and Charis hesitated before taking a seat. She had only been freed the month prior. It was taking some getting used to that she didn't need to be invited to sit.

"We met when your mother came to visit Tertius." She explained quietly and glanced down at the table rather than look at either of them, taking a cup of wine. She had been a slave then - cast out to the corner as Tertius focused on his latest fascination. It had hurt. But she didn't blame the woman, especially not now she had her freedom. "But I've been well," She finally glanced up at Varinia with a small smile. "...Adjusting, I suppose. I suspect it will take some time." To be free and then enslaved and then free again all within the space of three years was a lot to stomach. And this freedom felt very, very different  to the last that she had enjoyed. 

But she was warming up, relaxing a touch at Teutus' compliment and chuckled. "It's so fine I keep worrying that I'll spill something on it." Again, unused to the fact that she could just palm it off to a house slave to fix if she did. She glanced at both of them then. So alike. "And you two? How have you been?" This was good. Polite chit-chat. This was normal...right?

 

TAG: @Sarah @Sharpie

 

[Sarah]

I didn't realise you'd met.

Varinia gave her son a faint smile over her shoulder, even as Charis explained the circumstances in which they'd met. She'd explained her logic to him, that many people reacted poorly to surprises and Tertius, she felt, worse than most. So she'd taken it upon herself to minimise the surprise, and was glad that she had. One benefit had been meeting Charis and her adorable son. She wasn't oblivious to their similarities either, why if Varinia had claimed to strangers that Charis was her daughter, they'd likely have believed her. Another benefit had been the pleasant and civil conversation she'd had with Tertius. And it has just been that, a conversation. However much she had then wished to reconnect with him at a deeper level, Varinia was glad now that hadn't happened. It would only have complicated things further for all of them. No, it was far better this way. 

Charis glanced up at her when Varinia asked how she'd been. 

...Adjusting, I suppose. I suspect it will take some time.

Varinia gave her a warm, motherly smile of understanding. "It will. I'm still adjusting to it myself. But it gets easier, and you can start to enjoy what your freedom means." For her it was simple things like going to market and buying things for the household, and making nice clothes for her son and herself. Perhaps in time it would come to mean more. 

They settled around the table and Charis seemed to relax a little as she admitted she was worried about spilling something on the fine fabric of her gown. Varinia knew what she meant, she'd felt the same when Teutus had first presented her with finer clothes to wear than the slave's tunica she'd been so long accustomed to. Now she enjoyed dressing up and feeling beautiful. 

"I've been well, thank you." She replied, meaning every word of it. "I wove Teutus a new tunic." She said, terribly proud that she'd made the whole thing from beginning to end, for her beloved son. It was such a simple thing, but gave her such a feeling of achievement, to express her love for her son in such a way. 

@Sara @Sharpie

[Sharpie]

Teutus Quinctilius Varus

Sitting at his own table in his own home with his mother and a guest had been something that Teutus would never have dreamed might happen, once. Looking between his mother and Charis, he was struck again by how similar they looked - both dark haired and light-eyed, though Varinia was taller than Charis. As he'd told Charis, once, he'd got his own height and build from his mother.

He could see why Tertius had found Charis attractive... Had she reminded him, even vaguely, of Varinia? Possibly, maybe even probably.

He smoothed the tunic over his knee a little self-consciously; he was wearing the garment in question; it was worth more to him than any tunic of fine linen or Seres silk imported from countless thousands of miles away could possibly be.

He couldn't help the slightly smug feeling that Peregrinus would likely never treasure anything quite so deeply

"My work's been keeping me busy, but not so much I can't spend time with my friends." he said. Not that he really had many friends, and he wasn't entirely sure how close he and Charis were any more, not since their argument over nothing, and everything that had happened since. He leaned forward, a little self-consciously, and broke off a sprig of grapes. "You'll get used to it, eventually. Though I can't say I'm totally used to it myself yet."

 

@Sara @Sarah

Edited May 13, 2023 by Sharpie

[Sara]

Start enjoying what your freedom means.

Charis couldn't hide the brief grimace on her face and she busied herself sipping her wine. Teutus' own addition, that she'd get used to it was afforded a gentle smile in response and she sighed. She set down her cup and glanced at the pair in turn. 

"I suppose...I suppose it is just difficult given the last time I was free it was...very different. I had work to do - a family to cook for, siblings to look after, trade to make and now..." She gave a small shrug. "This freedom feels very different." Probably because this wasn't freedom at all, in comparison. Tertius' list of conditions was visible in her minds eye in that moment. 

Tertia Charis must stay in Rome, Tertia Charis is not allowed to leave the house or Rome with Peregrinus Quinctilius Varus without his father’s permission, Should Tertia Charis fail to live up to the terms of this document, Tertius Quinctilius Varus has the authority to do the following: the authority to send Tertia Charis away, the authority to keep her allowance, the authority to keep their children with him, the authority to remove the title of freedwoman from Tertia Charis and so on and so forth. 

She picked up her wine and sipped it deeply before she tried to move on. "How do you spend your days, Varinia?" 

 

TAG: @Sarah @Sharpie

[Sarah]

Teuta Varinia

Charis grimaced as Varinia said that once she started adjusting to the concept, she could start enjoying what her freedom meant. That... wasn't the reaction she'd expected from the younger woman, though she seemed to respond more warmly when Teutus tried to reassure her of the same. Was there something there? Or was that a mother's wishful thinking. They had both come from the same household after all, and she hoped that Teutus and Charis could still manage to be friends, in spite of their changes in circumstances. 

The younger woman spoke slowly, revealing her reservation stemmed from her previous freedom; the freedom from which she'd been taken. Her story was so much like Varinia's own that the older woman was unable to help herself; she reached over and briefly squeezed Charis's fingers. Unlike her son, both women had been born free, and had freedom taken from them. "It isn't the same." She agreed gently. "It won't ever be. I found that too." She added, in the hope of giving some comfort to Charis in the knowledge that she was not alone. "But if I've found one thing in life, in Rome, it's that pining for what was, and what never will be, only leads to misery." The older woman was uncharacteristically solemn as she spoke. Then suddenly her smile was back. "Far better, I've found, to appreciate and make the most of what you do have. You have your son," she glanced across at Teutus with a smile, "you have a wealthy and powerful husband, you have a very nice domus. And you have freedom that you didn't have before. Think about what you can do with it." All of it. 

Quite reasonably, Charis turned the question of what to do with the time back on Varinia. What did she do with her time? She selected a couple of dates whilst she considered the question. "I go to the markets, for food and household supplies, and even the occasional little luxury." Like the sweet treats she sometimes brought home. "I know you'll have slaves who can do that for you, but that doesn't mean you can't go and take them with you. The market is fun; we could go together some time if you like." Charis would likely be able to go on a litter if she wanted. "I've been spinning and weaving." Which she'd mentioned before. Spinning was expected of female slaves; weaving was something she'd learned in her last household. "I've been teaching Amandus things." She gestured at the ten year old boy who was a runner slave for Teutus, but whom Varinia had virtually adopted. She also enjoyed talking with Janus and Olipor, something which was probably seen as uncouth but she didn't care. "And I've been making a few friends of my own, outside the domus." Not many, but she valued those she had. "I even went out for Saturnalia." She added, quite pleased with her adventures that evening. 

"What would you like to do?"

@Sara @Sharpie

[Sharpie]

Teutus Quinctilius Varus

 

Teutus was a little surprised at the small flare of resentment that he felt as he realised that his mother and Charis had more in common than he'd initially realised. He knew they'd both been born free, but it somehow hadn't registered until this moment.

It wasn't their fault, what had happened to them, of course it wasn't... but for each to see a side of the other that he couldn't except on an intellectual level made him feel left out. Well, he was a man, they were women, they had far more in common that excluded him than simply being born free and then enslaved. It wasn't as though he didn't want them to get along, he did. He was being silly, he knew he was, and took a breath, trying to shake the annoyed feeling, managing to return his mother's fond look with a smile.

But if I've found one thing in life, in Rome, it's that pining for what was, and what never will be, only leads to misery.

His mother was right, of course - she was always right about things like that. It was just that it wasn't always easy to hear it, or to do it. Not do it? Either way - and Teutus had a lot that he could be thankful for, even if there were things he would never have. He should be grateful for what he did have... he had his mother, his own business which was doing well, his own home - hopefully he'd be able to move into an actual domus one day, too. He would start looking for what he needed from the people who could give it to him, and stop trying to get it from people who couldn't.

"You have friends too, Charis," he said. "I hope you know that?"

Maybe she would one day count Varinia among her friends too - and he didn't resent that as he had expected he would.

 

@Sara @Sarah

Edited May 13, 2023 by Sharpie

[Sara]

Tertia Charis

Her mind snapped back at Varinia; I have no freedom, but she kept silent, merely sipping her wine and nodding at appropriate moments. She knew she should trust Varinia, trust Teutus and be honest about how she was struggling  but how could she? How could she when she and Peregrinus had what should have rightfully belonged to the pair before her? 

She was grateful for Teutus' interruption about being her friend, as it gave her a moment to collect her thoughts on Varinia's question. What did she want to do? She set down her cup of wine, her fingers flirting with its rim. "I...I don't know." She admitted honestly, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "My friends from...before, it's difficult to see them." She shrugged thin shoulders and then gave a slightly weak smile to both in turn. "I have always liked to be practical...helpful. Tertius said that some women run charities I...I might consider that? I think I'd be better suited to running a business, or working in another but..." She exhaled a little sharply, "I understand that's not my place, or appropriate for a woman like me but...I am not complaining, of course," She added a touch hurriedly, "I spend my days with Peregrinus and...occasionally helping with Tertius' affairs and the house, and directing the gardeners..." it hardly sounded like a fulfilling life. 

 

TAG: @Sarah @Sharpie

[Sharpie]

Teutus Quinctilius Varus

 

It sounded unutterably dull. Poor Charis; Teutus might not know the precise terms under which she'd been freed by Tertius, but he knew his father well enough to know (well, make a very good guess at!) that there were terms, and they were probably almost as restrictive as her actual slavery had been. Tertius did not make a habit of freeing his slaves - the only other slave he'd ever freed was Teutus himself, and that was only after he'd promised to do so, a string of promises stretching back years.

And Charis had told him, once, that she'd basically run her husband's business for him, dealing with customers and making the sales and everything. Being confined to the tiny world of Tertius' wife must be... It couldn't be worse than any other senator's wife had it, surely - she could go to the baths, to the markets, the theatre - probably not the games; she'd hate the arena. She would probably find the sort of social events high-class Roman women attended boring in the extreme. Teutus was rather glad he wasn't expected to attend such things, though doubtless he would have a very different view if his life had turned out as it should have done.

"Do you ever visit any of the public gardens?" he asked. She liked Tertius' garden, surely she'd like the public horti of Rome, from the Gardens of Maecenas to the Gardens of Sallust. Tertius could have no objection to her visiting them, surely.

 

@Sarah @Sara

Edited May 13, 2023 by Sharpie