Innocents abroad (Modern day AU)

[Sara]

She rolled her eyes; "Lucius Roscoe not being adventurous? God you really are morose." She grinned and leaned over to the bartender, "I'll have what he's been drinking," Before turning back to him, "Let's hope you have as good taste in drinks as you do in women, huh?" 

His words made her ache and she let out a sigh of her own, nursing the glass of...something in her hand. "We're going out to celebrate this weekend, don't forget." She offered a gentle smile and wanted to reach down and squeeze his hand. She would if she thought she could get away with it. "Just us two, and in any case, your parents are leaving well enough alone aren't they? Although they did drop round a gift to my parents house this morning." Which was really very generous, but made her feel ten times more awkward. They were good people - but she could see why Lucius' relationship with them was fraught, having gotten to know him. 

"Speaking of which," She tried to lighten the mood, "You can correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe I've received a present from my good friend Lucius Roscoe yet, have I?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Lucius Roscoe not being adventurous? God you really are morose. I'll have what he's been drinking. Let's hope you have as good taste in drinks as you do in women, huh?" 

Maybe he really was morose. This was her world, not his. He did not want to spoil the mood, but it was hard to keep up appearances for long periods of time. Camilla got herself a glass of brandy, which was his usual go-to drink at parties where he needed something stronger than wine.

"We're going out to celebrate this weekend, don't forget. Just us two, and in any case, your parents are leaving well enough alone aren't they? Although they did drop round a gift to my parents house this morning." 

"I can't wait to be alone with you." he was honest about this part, and his smile softened too. They had a weekend planned since Jacob was going to be out of town for work. Lucius knew his place in this game by now: he was the secret lover, not the official boyfriend. But he had a feeling maybe Camilla was arming up to something more.

"Speaking of which. You can correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe I've received a present from my good friend Lucius Roscoe yet, have I?"

Good friend.

"Well, part of that present is not suitable for the public" he noted with a small smile, looking at the crowd. "And the other part, I wanted to wait to give you when your boyfriend is not watching like a hawk. But if you like to live dangerously..."

@Sara

[Sara]

I can't wait to be alone with you. She smiled softly and as the crowd jostled around them, reached down to squeeze his hand very briefly, as if to say; 'me either'. She withdrew it and clasped the glass with both hands as she took a sip. Brandy. How on earth did he drink this stuff. 

She tried to keep the grin from her mouth at his flirtation and failed, hard and so hid her expression in her glass, but she was intrigued. Swallowing another grim sip of the brandy, she tilted her face up and studied him. "He's not watching like a hawk, he's with his colleagues." No doubt talking inanely over this investment or that investment, "And you know I don't." She chuckled a little and wrinkled her nose as she took a third sip, "But if you've taught me anything it's that I should so...go on then, what's the other part? We have a few minutes before the toasts..." 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"He's not watching like a hawk, he's with his colleagues. And you know I don't." 

She really didn't. For a woman who had been keeping a secret lover for half a year now, she really liked to play things safe. Lucius didn't mind. Whoever she chose in the end had to keep her safe and happy. She deserved that.

"But if you've taught me anything it's that I should so...go on then, what's the other part? We have a few minutes before the toasts..." 

Lucius looked at her, then at the crowd. Finally, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box wrapped in shiny paper. Inside, there was a medal on a thin silver chain. It was polished stone in dark blue colors with specks of gold, shaped like an elegant oval. On the flat side on the back there was a finely carved letter C, and a small Latin inscription: Vivamus. Lucius looked a little sheepish as he hoped she'd like the present.

@Sara

[Sara]

She watched him as he pulled out the box and her smile softened. He looked almost...sheepish. It was sweet, and not a side she'd seen of him before, and she felt a flutter in her chest. She swallowed it down. Not here. 

She unwrapped it carefully, setting the paper down on the bar and cracked open the box. She blinked. It was...beautiful. Not something she'd choose for herself, but it suited her perfectly and as her fingers gently lifted it out of the box she caught the inscription on the back. "Viv-amus?" She glanced up at him. God she wanted to kiss him now. She didn't say anything else and just kept holding the necklace in her fingers, staring at it. She felt like she could cry. Pull it together, you idiot. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

She liked it. Thank god she liked it. The look on her face spoke volumes, and he glanced around again. No one was looking. He enjoyed watching her face a little longer, and smiled at her question.

"The beginning of a poem, by Catullus. Catullus 5. You will have to look it up." he chuckled "But if anyone else asks, it's the Latin version of 'you only live once'". If Jacob asked, especially. If he ever thought to look close enough.

@Sara

[Sara]

"Catullus 5," She repeated to herself to ingrain it in her memory, "Catullus 5." She let her fingers linger over the inscription a moment longer before she turned her face up to him. If anybody was looking at them, they would have been confused no doubt - her eyes were shiny and cheeks flushed. "I love it." She reached down to give his hand another squeeze, the action concealed by the crowd in front of them. She let her fingers linger in his for a moment before she reluctantly pulled them away. 

Deftly, and quickly, she fastened the necklace around her neck. It was concealed by the heavier gold one she wore on top of it, but perhaps that was for the best, all things considered. Jacob wouldn't notice it, but her girlfriends certainly would, and their questions would spoil the evening. 

With an unsteady hand she reached for her brandy again and took a hefty swig. It was awful, but made her feel more herself. Gathering her wits, she smiled up at him. "This weekend I'll make you that pink daiquiri so you don't have to drink this filth-" 

"Lucius! Millie didn't tell me you were coming!" Jacob's faux-cheer chimed in and Camilla glanced up to see him with a confused, albeit friendly face. She sometimes wondered if he suspected anything, and could never quite tell. "Mind if I steal my birthday girl for a moment? We've got some toasts to do." 

No, don't steal me, I want to stay here. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

 

[Chevi]

"I love it." 

I love you.

She was so beautiful in that moment, with the genuine happiness in her eyes. In another world, he could have kissed her.

"This weekend I'll make you that pink daiquiri so you don't have to drink this filth-" 

Jacob made an appearance in that moment. The necklace was already in place, and Lucius swept the box behind the bar before he thought to ask any uncomfortable questions. It was always weird, the few times he met Jacob. He probably didn't suspect anything since they had been very careful, but he was generally the jealous type.

"Lucius! Millie didn't tell me you were coming!" 

"Wouldn't miss it. 21 is a big deal." Lucius smiled politely. 

"Mind if I steal my birthday girl for a moment? We've got some toasts to do." 

"Sure." the smile was firmly kept in place, by great effort. "Happy birthday, Camilla."

@Sara

 

[Sara]

Jacob smiled politely and nodded before glancing at the drink in Camilla's hands; "We've got champagne to toast with, you don't need that," it was said with politeness and jest but nonetheless she set down her drink on the bar and gave Lucius a smile that told a thousand words - mainly I'm sorry - before placing her hand on Jacob's arm and allowed herself to be ushered closer to her parents. 

Her father gave a toast first, a drawn out affair that had bored her within the first minute and embarrassed her in two. He recounted tales from her childhood - how she'd run away because she didn't get a pony on her sixth birthday, how she'd developed her love for music and on and on. He showered her with compliments which elicited eye rolls from her brothers, and he congratulated Jacob on a tremendous match. She felt a bit sick. 

She felt even more sick when Jacob slipped his arm from hers and her father passed him the microphone. She frowned, although it wasn't un-like him to want to do something flash and showy like overshadow her birthday with a speech of his own. She found her patience dwindling as he babbled on, also recounting stories she found inappropriate. She was only half-listening, although the smile was still plastered on her face (practice makes perfect) that when he knelt down, she had to do a double take. 

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. 

"Which is why, with Gerard's blessing..." Camilla glanced up to her father with wide eyes who beamed back at her with an obnoxiously large grin on his face, "I want to ask; Millie, will you marry me?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Lucius watched as Camilla walked away, with a new drink and the old boyfriend. Jacob looked proud to show her off. Toasts followed. Her father first; it was clear he was extremely proud of his daughter, even though his storytelling was a bit obnoxious. Camilla deserved to be celebrated. Lucius applauded and drank with the rest of them; maybe less of the former, and more of the latter.

Then Jacob got up to talk.

Lucius tried his best to tune the whole thing out. It was one of those cheesy things people thought were romantic. He watched her instead, wondering. After six months, he felt like he knew her. He knew little things about her, the way she yawned when she first woke up from a nap, the way her hair smelled fresh out of the shower. He wondered if all those were things Jacob noticed too. Maybe he did. Or maybe he didn't need to.

"Which is why, with Gerard's blessing... I want to ask; Millie, will you marry me?"

Wait, what?

Lucius' stomach dropped through the floor. And probably several floors below.

Time ground to a halt. All Lucius could do was stare, probably in a painfully obvious look of shock, as people cheered and applauded and awww'd at the public proposal, and the ridiculously flashy diamond ring.

Oh god, say no. Please, say no...

@Sara

[Sara]

It was cliche to say it, but at that moment everything genuinely seemed to move in slow motion. The claps and 'awwww' from the crowd, Jacob's grin, stretching ever wider, the knowing look from her mother as she stared her only daughter down. She didn't know how long she'd been silent for, it must have been quite some time because she heard her father clear his throat - which was the universal signal for 'what the fuck, Camilla?'.

She had a man, a good man, with fantastic prospects, down on one knee in front of her before crowds of her friends, peers and their wider social circle. How could she say no? 

But she was only twenty-one. She had plans - stupid plans, granted, but she wanted to finish her course, she wanted to go to London to do her masters, she wanted to travel and spend time with her friends, she wanted...Lucius. The muscles in her neck twitched and strained as she tried to force herself not to look at him. 

Jacob's eyes were falling from hopeful to dismayed with each passing second as she stood there, silent, growing paler by the moment. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. It felt like the room was caving in, squeezing her and she felt a pain in her chest and a shortness of breath like she'd never felt before, as if she was drowning. All eyes were on her, expectant, confused by the silence and then he asked again; "Millie?" 

"Yes." She blurted out. That was it, that was all she could muster in the hope to alleviate the feeling crushing her chest, but it did not help. Her boyfriend - fiancee - was on his feet almost as soon as she'd said it, and the ring was slid on her finger. It felt heavy, alien and it was too big. He gripped her hand, almost too tightly and smiled down at her; "We'll get it re-sized."  He noted and then used his spare hand to shake hands with her father. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.

She heard her mother address a small group of the crowd behind her; "Jacob was always so good at surprises, look at her! Pale as a ghost!" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

She said yes.

The room seemed to turn upside down. She didn't turn to look at him. Lucius froze, watching the events unfold, the ring, the smiling parents, the applause, while inside his heart was crushed with a force that made it hard to breathe. This was it. She'd made her choice. She chose Jacob. Just like that.

He needed to get out. It took all of his willpower not to just flee and never look back. Lucius forced himself to do the bare minimum. Finish the drink. (At least that burned.) Applaud. Smile.

Run.

As the crowd pressed forward, everyone moving to congratulate the young couple with hugs and handshakes and kisses, Lucius slowly moved away from the bar. No one really paid any attention.

Just make it to the exit.

Once he was out of the room, instinct took over. He needed fresh air. Six months before, he'd fled to the fire escape; this time the only option was a fancy balcony, so he headed that way. It was already dark outside, and Lucius breathed in the cool air, trying to stop the world from spinning.

"FUCK!"

@Sara

[Sara]

Camilla knocked on his door, having been let in as a neighbour exited the building. Their weekend had been planned for weeks now; an airbnb in Boston. They'd go on walks, take in the city, drink, make love, rest and spend some quality time together.

She hadn't seen him since he'd given her the necklace, which was still clasped around her throat. She hadn't looked up the poem yet, she hadn't had the time. Jacob hadn't queried it, probably assuming it was a piece she already owned, and besides, he was too distracted. Not - as she anticipated, by their engagement - but by a big client meeting this weekend. It was all he spoke of since the morning after the party, besides, of course, the temporary ring re-sizer she'd wrapped around her engagement ring which he'd amazon primed the next day; "I just want you to wear it now, we can get it properly resized later." 

So wear it she did. Her feelings had become more complex in the days following the shock proposal, it was less of a lead weight now than it had been that evening with her knee jerk reaction of what the fuck. Maybe it was her parents with their undimming pride at her saying yes, or maybe it was just that Jacob had been good to her (work distraction aside) in the days that followed that made it more palatable. She found it harder to like or settle on either man when she had just spent time with the other; their flaws became more obvious when in direct contrast, but after a few days apart from Lucius, Jacob seemed less problematic. 

But just because she'd said yes, didn't mean she was ready to give up on the other man in life. His own views were - to her, at least - inconsequential. What she wanted, she got, and she wanted him. She hadn't seen him since the party, and the text she dropped him yesterday had gone unanswered - but that wasn't unusual, he was busy doing...Lucius things, usually. 

No answer and she sighed, knocking again. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

Sometimes Lucius wished he'd have the same vices as other rich kids his age. It would have made dealing with heartbreak easier. He could have called a dealer, gotten wasted, high, slept with a bunch of nameless women, or whatever else men tended to do when they had to watch the girl they loved get engaged to someone else. Sadly, Lucius was not into any of those things. So, he sat in his apartment, and moped.

He was sad. Heartbroken. Angry. He played the proposal in his head over and over again, trying to imagine what was going through Camilla's head in those moments. Had she looked for him after he left? Did she even notice he was gone? Was this an easy decision already in the making that she did not tell him about? The questions were bound to drive him insane sooner than later. 

There was a knock on the door. Lucius had lost sense of time days before, so he had to glance at his phone to know what time it was. And what day. He was not expecting delivery. There was another knock. He finally got off the couch to open the door.

It was Camilla. 

All he could do is stare at her, dumbfounded, at a loss of ideas why she would show up on his doorstep. With a bag.

"You've got to be kidding me."

@Sara

[Sara]

She blinked. She had not been expecting that reaction - but it was a natural consequence of her personality; she just expected everybody to be on the same wavelength as her, to follow her whims. Even if rationally she knew he would be irritated at the very least, it didn't matter. She wanted to go to Boston, and go to Boston she would. 

"And good morning to you too." She offered with a sly smile. She winced as she heaved the overnight bag a bit further up her forearm as if to wave it at him. "You don't look ready for Boston, which is ridiculous, we've been planning it for weeks." Yes, blind optimism and ignoring the enormous, sparkly, diamond elephant in the room was how she'd handle it. 

"Are you going to let me in, or make me stand here whilst you pack?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

It hurt to see her again. It hurt worse that she was smiling, as if nothing had happened. It was hard to comprehend that there could be such a vast difference between his heartache and her... life.

"And good morning to you too. You don't look ready for Boston, which is ridiculous, we've been planning it for weeks." 

Lucius opened and closed his mouth, at a genuine loss of words. Did she just...?

"Are you going to let me in, or make me stand here whilst you pack?" 

He stood aside, for lack of a better idea. There had to be a talk, and he did not want to do it in the hallway. She walked in and he closed the door, leaning back against it for support.

"I'm not going."

@Sara

[Sara]

"Of course you're going." She commented flippantly and deposited the overnight bag on the arm of his couch, moving to stand in front of him. She might not have had the common sense to realise he was heartbroken, but she had enough to realise he clearly wasn't alright and was unlikely to respond positively to an affectionate kiss or a hug. 

She would really, really, really rather not broach the topic of the engagement - at least not until they were safely on the road and she had him confined in a small area (the car she had waiting downstairs) so he couldn't leave or make excuses. Swallowing, she wrapped her arms around her waist and then tossed her hair over her shoulder; both habits for when she was nervous or self conscious. 

"It will be fun," She said, trying to be convincing, "And a break from the city. Things get so...frantic, here...and messy, and complicated. I'll pack for you if you don't start," She said with a sly grin and wandered over to his drawers, opening them and starting to pull out items of clothing which she deposited in a small pile on the floor. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

"Of course you're going."

She was not getting the message. Did she really not notice, or did she just not want to? She stood in front of him, hugging herself. He knew that look. She most have known something was wrong. Like, the giant ass diamond on her finger.

"It will be fun. And a break from the city. Things get so...frantic, here...and messy, and complicated. I'll pack for you if you don't start," 

She did. Lucius stared, still at a loss of words, as she started pulling clothes out of the drawers. It took him another half minute before he was finally jolted out of the shock.

"Camilla. Stop." he walked over, trying to face her. "Things are complicated here, so. I'm making it easier. I'm not going. We are not going. This... is over."

@Sara

[Sara]

For a woman as extroverted as she was, Camilla still had a deep need to abide by the rules (for the most part) and follow the directions of others, and so when he asked her to stop, she did. Her fingers twitched by her side - she wanted to reach out and touch him, but stayed herself as he spoke - wide, dark eyes blinking up at him with a mixture of confusion and upset. 

Her mouth felt try and her chest felt tight and she shook her head, her features falling into a crown; "No," She countered with childish stubbornness and entitlement, "No - it's not over unless we both agree and," She felt her heart beat faster and her face flush. Why was he doing this? She knew why, of course, she just didn't want to admit it to herself, she didn't want to see that she was the architect of this with her complete inability to say no to people, "And, and we can talk about it. I want to talk about it." She offered a weak smile and finally reached out to grip his hand. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

She looked shocked. She was finally understanding what he meant. Which was good, because he could not have been any clearer. He was done playing this game. It had already hurt him enough.

"No. No - it's not over unless we both agree and,"

"That's not..."

"And, and we can talk about it. I want to talk about it." 

She reached for his hand. Lucius sighed. He knew he could not hold up for long, not when she was looking at him like that. But he had to. He pulled his hand away, and moved to sit on the couch.

"Alright. We can talk. But it seems to me like you have already made your choice. Unless that gigantic diamond is just for decoration."

@Sara

[Sara]

She looked upset as he pulled his hand away and she flexed her fingers. Her eyes followed him as he moved to sit down, but she made no move to join him - instead angling her body so she was standing in front of him as he sat. His words made her flush and she looked down, embarrassed before shoving her hand with the ring on, into the pocket of her jeans. It was a very ostentatious ring...but she couldn't say she didn't like it. 

"I didn't know he was going to do that," She said with a quiet voice, shaking her head, "I...didn't know what to say. Everybody was looking at me, waiting, I..." She trailed off. She would have embarrassed him, her parents, a lot of people had she said no. "It's just a ring." She offered, weakly. 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

He knew he was lashing out. It did not hurt any less than in that first moment when he'd left the party. It was stupid, he told himself. She'd always said she was going to make a choice eventually. There was a 50-50 chance it wouldn't be him. He was the one who agreed to that deal in the first place.

"I didn't know he was going to do that. I...didn't know what to say. Everybody was looking at me, waiting, I..."

She didn't sit. She stood in front of him, hiding the ring, as if that could make it go away.

"It's just a ring." 

It so wasn't.

"So, you're not going to marry him then?"

@Sara

[Sara]

"Not immediately," She retorted with a crumpled expression on her face, trying to project a confidence she didn't really feel. "I'm twenty-one, Lucius, I'm not suddenly going to start playing the stepford wife, or get married within the month." But she was going to marry him. 

She stood there, feeling awkward, embarrassed and...for a reason she couldn't work out, ashamed. Finding it intolerable, and standing in front of him, intolerable, she abruptly moved to his kitchen. She could still see him from behind the counter as she concentrated on making herself a coffee; something monstrous with an unholy amount sugar and cream and milk. She spoke as she started to make it, but didn't look up, pretending she was concentrating on the drink. 

"It's been sixth months and you haven't moralised about...this, up until now. The ring doesn't change anything, why-why are you saying no, now?" 

 

TAG: @Chevi

[Chevi]

None of this made sense. She had said yes. She'd chosen. And yet, she did not seem very confident about it. Not that it mattered.

"Not immediately. I'm twenty-one, Lucius, I'm not suddenly going to start playing the stepford wife, or get married within the month." 

She moved to the kitchen. She had spent enough time in his apartment to know her way around by now. Lucius watched her from the couch. This was likely the last time he was going to see her like this.

"It's been sixth months and you haven't moralised about...this, up until now. The ring doesn't change anything, why-why are you saying no, now?" 

"It doesn't? Really?" how was she not getting this? "Because I distinctly remember saying I wouldn't do this on the long run. You said you needed time to make up your mind. You did. You said yes to Jacob."

@Sara

[Sara]

She was irate now. She always got angry when she was upset - trying to project her feelings of failure onto other people, and she snapped at him from behind the counter; "Because I had to! He made a move, Lucius, in front of all of my friends, family, their friends..." She glared at him - but it was weak and she dropped her eyes to furiously stir the coffee with a spoon, clanging it against the sides of the cup.

"Besides," She scoffed and dumped another heaped teaspoon of sugar into the drink - the drink she felt too sick to actually ingest anyway, "Besides, I distinctly do not remember you making any sort of move," She finally glanced up at him now, voice still firm Bute expression more upset than annoyed, "If you wanted me to make up my mind for you, you...you could have done something to help." It was an unfair comment, by and large, but she believed it. Jacob had proposed - what had Lucius done? 

 

TAG: @Chevi