Atrice

He was very relieved, he never expected it to go very well, when he told the truth about himself and his desires. It wasn't that he ever wanted to disappoint women he loved, but he had problems stopping himself, even when he wanted to. His body wanted pleasure and somehow he ended up ignoring what was right or wrong and just gave in. He knew it was a problem. He was well aware of it. And he would just have to work harder to fight the urges, because Calpurnia loved him and she didn't deserve him treating her like that. She really wasn't just another woman he desired. He cared for her. He loved her. And he enjoyed standing here, with their fingers intertwining and her smiling into his kiss, he could feel her doing it. But they would need to see each other more often. Else he wasn't sure he could do what he wanted and be fair to her. It was just difficult. They couldn't very well send each other messages or plan anything. Calpurnia spoke of her villa in the summer and how he could visit her. "I could." Alexius replied, he liked the idea of just being alone with her, anywhere really, but a villa sounded nice, "You think you can trust your servants and slaves there? To keep quiet?" @Chevi

She glanced at the basket, wondering what was in it. He placed it on the table though and then went on to introduce himself. When he first said his name, she wondered where his slave tag was, but then he extended the name. She arched a brow, that was a fancy name. She recalled a Consul sharing part of that name? And he'd come to her for advice? Well that was interesting. She gave him a friendly smile though. "Felix... welcome and nice to meet you. I'm Melissa Alethia. Melissa is fine." She added with a grin, as she'd just copied what he said, "Now tell me what you need advice on? And can I get you anything?" Always considering how to make anyone feel comfortable in her thermopolia. @Chevi

She nodded when he told her not to tell anyone about this. And he hoped she'd pray that she could keep her promise. It couldn't be known that he'd been sick when he was out and about. They would see him as weak and think they could fool him. Just because he wasn't young anymore. Lucius was usually very healthy, especially for his age, so this was odd. It must have been the dates he ate. "Good." He replied simply and then a petty looking litter appeared and of course they wanted payment. Gods. Lucius reached for his purse and fished out coins and explained how to find his domus at the Quirinal Hill. Ione was kind enough or clever enough to support him into the litter. Once there, he looked at her, "Follow the litter." He said, he couldn't risk her walking back the Elysium on the own and possibly lose her or see her maimed or something, so he would have to take her with him. Not that it meant she'd get to join him in the litter, but she could follow. Soon they were on the move, luckily the domus they just visited had been on the very same hill, so it wasn't far. The domus wasn't as fancy as one belonging to any Senators and it wasn't on the best part of the hill, but not in the worst part either. It was what he could afford for himself and his family. It was mostly empty now though. He had a few slaves working here, to take care of the place. He wondered what they'd say to seeing Ione here, he usually didn't bring work home like that. Besides the slaves, a tablinum, a few couches and his bedroom, the place wasn't filled with a lot of furniture yet and not much decoration either. He was waiting for his wife to come and take care of all that. The litter was set down and he thanked the cohorts for the help, promised he'd not forget their help. And then he waited for Ione to help him inside. @Sara

She listened to him talk and she didn't say a word while he spoke. Alexius hated talking. But there was no way he could let her know without talking. This was usually how things fell apart for him. He experience with telling the truth to women he liked... well, it wasn't a very good experience. It hadn't been good with any of them. And now he feared it would be the same once more. She'd walk away. She'd tell him she could not stand the thought of him with someone else, and end it right now. And he would still love her and long for her, but he would not be able to do anything about it. She wasn't meant for him anyway. Yet his longing for her had not ceased. When he stopped talking, Calpurnia seemed in thought. And he just stood there, feeling like a fool, an idiot who'd disappointed the one person he didn't want to disappoint. Maybe he should never have left his seat at the arena, never have left Didia's side to find Calpurnia when she left, but... he couldn't stop. Didn't want to. He had to be with her. And now he might never again. So many thoughts like those rushed through his mind, he could already see her walk away. But she didn't. She stayed. Spoke of her time as a priestess, how she didn't know love and then she met him. And they weren't supposed to happen. But she would make up her own mind and he let his fingers intertwine with hers when she took his hand. Saying she would not be unfair to him. Alexius blinked. Fuck the gods, fuck everything. Everything but her. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, "You are... everything you're not supposed to be." Alexius said with a grin, feeling a pang of happiness flutter within, "How can I... I feel so... grateful. I love you." He moved closer to her, reached for her other hand, "I'll try harder to be fair to you. You deserve nothing less. If only it could be like this forever. Maybe... in nicer surroundings though." He grinned again, plucked a kiss from her lips, "Maybe next time? You spoke of a villa, didn't you?" @Chevi

Even in the faint light he could feel her eyes upon him. Alexius reached out for her again, gently stroking her cheek, "It will." He said with a sigh, "And that's why we need to... I mean, I need to talk to you about something. Tell you something." He paused, could she tell this was serious? She was a smart and intelligent woman, she most likely knew that this was not easy for him. She must be able to hear it or sense it or something. "I did tell you that you're far from my first. I have very strong needs. I am aware of how it sounds and all. And I tried to ignore all of that, because of you. I really did. I don't want to disappoint you. Or to be unfair to you. I don't want you to think you're just another woman I desire. You're not." Alexius inhaled another breath, he found it hard to meet her eyes, hated talking about things. He preferred doing things, but this was not something he could show her. Really he would prefer she was not shown this at all! He would have to tell her... even if it pained him to do so. And it might cause her pain too, but it would not be fair to not tell her the truth, "There have been others, for me... since our last time. It's been so long. With them, it has nothing to do with love. They're not you." Alexius dared to look up at her, "I hope you understand. But I won't love you any less, if you don't." If she was going to walk away and never see him again, at least he had been with her again. At least he had told her how he felt. And at least he told her the truth of it all. He found he almost held his breath, out of fear for her reaction, even though he would understand if it was bad. @Chevi

He returned the kiss before she stood and he felt cold where she sat before, but he would sit up too. Her dress was still on her body. His breeches were somewhere and the tunic he wore he found on the bench. Calpurnia promised him again they'd make it work and no one knew about him anyway. "They may still want to find a husband for you. We're both busy. And I don't know how to reach you." Alexius pointed out while he pulled the tunic over his head, "We can't... plan anything. And..." He trailed off, how in the name of Hades did you start talking about these things with her? He didn't want to make the same mistakes he made with Oriana. On the other hand, he did want to be honest with her. She deserved that. Alexius stood and pulled on the breeches and tied them, before he approached her again, "It's hard waiting for so long to be with you. And to never know when it'll happen again." @Chevi

She was so sweet. The way she touched his face, the way she looked at him... the way she reacted to those magic words. He'd not spoken them to many women. Had he even ever said it to Oriana, a few years back? He'd told her he cared for her. And he thought he'd been in love with her. But he never dared to say it out loud. She was an equite and actively looking for a husband. And she could never accept that he slept around too, although she would with her future husband. It would never have worked out. It had hurt, but... she could never be with him, he knew that now. Which was why it almost seemed stupid that he'd now admitted his love to Calpurnia. She was even further out of reach. But she loved him too. "Then we love each other." Alexius said and pushed himself up to sit, she was still straddling him and he wrapped his arms around her to hold her close to his body. He kissed her again, "Are you sure we can make it work? That you won't be... kept away from me? It's been so long since... since last time we were like this." Which was also something he had to talk to her about, but it felt a bit odd when they were both half-naked and he could feel her skin against his. @Chevi

He downed a bit of the water, but not too much, there was no knowing how clean the water was. And all clean water was hard to get in Rome. He trusted wine or watered wine more than he trusted fresh water like this. But Ione was a good girl, kind of anyway. He didn't tell her to get the litter for him, but she'd done it anyway. Yet now he thought it was a good idea. She promised she'd not told them where the litter would go. And then she knelt down by the bench. Lucius looked at her, if he'd been feeling better, he would feel superior in that nice way when she sat like that. But now she just looked concerned. Which was both a good and a bad thing. "Ione... don't tell anyone about this." Lucius then said to her and sipped a bit more water, "Keep it between us." @Sara

When she was finally gone, he glanced around. A public garden wasn't the best place to get sick. He might be robbed or something. But by the time she came back, he'd laid down on the bench, trying to keep it all inside and just relax. It was hard though. Suddenly there was movement and a breathless Ione with a waterskin. He reached for it and sat up while she spoke of getting a litter for him. "Don't cancel it. It's coming here?" Lucius replied and downed some water. Even now, when he wasn't feeling well, he was still considering the options he had in front of him. Hopefully the litter wasn't an expensive one. That plebian he made the arrangement with today better be worth it. @Sara

She did her best to aid him, although he felt that if he put his weight on her she'd crumbled, she was so small and skinny compared to him. But she did help him to the bench and he almost fell down to sit. This really was bad. He felt her eyes on him though and wondered why she didn't get the water he asked for. But then she spoke of a litter instead. And she wouldn't run away instead of doing what she just said? "Water first." Lucius said, "Maybe a litter won't be... be needed..." He folded over, clutching his stomach. A litter would be needed, and his own bed. He wouldn't go to the brothel like this. Problem was he'd have to take Ione with him. He didn't trust her to make her way back to the brothel on her own. Someone else might take advantage of her or try and rob her or both. @Sara

There really were no one like her. Some women came close, many women were fascinating, interesting, desirable... but Calpurnia touched him in a way they didn't do and made him feel truly happy that he'd pleased her so, that he'd made her feel so good. He was usually happy that he could satisfy them and please them, but usually he felt some kind of pride over it, he took some joy too from making them feel like that. With Calpurnia, it was all about her. It had nothing to do with his pride and everything to do with her. His love, as he just said. She came closer, kissed him softly. Alexius brushed hair away from her face, looking up at her, "I... yes. I do." Lucius had said it first, as if he knew before Alexius even understood what it was. Ovinia had made him admit it. He inhaled a small breath, "I love you." He loved her and he didn't deserve her. Yet here they were. @Chevi

Ione was at least a good girl, looking to help him rather than just running away when she had the chance. "Help me to the bench first." Lucius said, "Then you can find something to... drink..." He inhaled a breath, feeling he might get sick enough to retch. Which wasn't exactly something he did very often. What the fuck had he eaten to feel like this? He hated being reminded that he wasn't young and that he had no one in Rome to really take care of him. Now he had to rely on a young whore. @Sara

He smiled again when she said he took good care of her. Well that's what he wanted, so to know he'd achieved it... and then she leaned back. Such a pity the torch didn't give them very much light, although the way the light danced on her body was extraordinary. She seemed on fire, which she had just been. He couldn't help but reach up and let his hands wander over her body again. He didn't know how long they'd stay here. Alexius wanted to be as near her as he could, for as long as he could. "I feel more than satisfied. I feel..." He trailed off, looking up at her, "I can't describe it. There's no one like you. My love." He hadn't said it out loud before. Not to her. @Chevi

She'd been a good girl so far, but he was also her owner and her master and he didn't like showing weakness to his slaves. He didn't like that they saw him in such a state, it wasn't good. They might respect him less and he demanded respect. Yet they weren't anywhere near the brothel, in fact they were closer to his current home than said brothel. He'd managed to purchase a nice domus on one of the hills, large enough for his wife and his children too, even though they hadn't joined him yet. But to take Ione there? And now she noticed something wasn't right and asked into it. "Do I look like I am?" Lucius said with a frustrated voice, "I need a break." He looked around in the garden and spotted a bench. He could also use a drink. He began walking towards the bench though, but kept stopping in his tracks, holding his stomach. @Sara

It was passion alright, passion and desire for a woman he wanted more than anyone. And that he only had once before. How could he long so much for someone he barely knew, even like this? But he did and he paid attention to her, like he did last time. When did her body respond to what he did, when did it sound like she liked something very much... Alexius wanted nothing but to please her and praise her and that's what he did in the faint light of the torch he brought here. They'd ended up on a bench, it wasn't broad enough for them to be side by side, but she was straddling him, resting against his body while they both caught their breath. Alexius softly kissed her cheek, "How do you feel?" He asked, "You seemed very... swept away..." He added with a small smile, happy that he could please her so. @Chevi

May 77AD Things had gone well since their last proper conversation. Of course Ione had come to see him plenty of times since then, to report what her clients told her in secrecy, so that he could take advantage of that to maybe sometimes blackmail them or otherwise use them for something. Lucius loved having people’s secrets so he could take advantage of them. Now or later, as long as he knew interesting things. He’d been a bit displeased lately though, for his wife had written to him and she was still apparently unable to leave Hispania and join him in Rome. He was beginning to think that maybe she didn’t want to go back to Rome. So it was a good thing that one of his wealthier clients approached him with an offer. Apparently he’d taken a certain liking to Ione and wanted to strike a deal. Something like the deal she had with Spurius, but this client appeared even wealthier and Lucius was not one to back down from such a chance. He took Ione with him to see the man and while she stood quietly in the background most of the time, she was there. Mostly for show and encouragement for the client, so he wouldn’t take back his offer. But the client was a friendly guy and naturally even offered wine and food for his guest. Lucius had in turn even offered him to the man, but he said he would prefer to have her entirely on his own and with plenty of time. So be it. They decided on an arranged date for her to come to his house once every week. And then he took Ione with him back towards the brothel. It was already late afternoon and she’d have to work tonight. On the way back though, as they took a shortcut through one of the public gardens of Rome, Lucius began feeling a stomach ache. Maybe the wine at the man’s house hadn’t been so good? Or was it the dates he ate? No matter, it quickly grew worse and he stopped in his tracks, feeling the need to rest. He didn’t like admitting to Ione though, that he wasn’t feeling well. But he suddenly stopped in his tracks as another bad ache came through. @Sara

He needed her so much, he'd waited for her, he'd had to find his pleasure elsewhere, but pleasure was not the same as loving Calpurnia. He would know though if this was good enough for her. It was for him, but she was of a much finder breed than he was and she was used to proper beds and everything. Last time it had been at a proper place too. This was far from it. But Calpurnia didn't care and Alexius chuckled at her words, "I guess you're right. Gods... you..." He sighed and pulled her into another kiss and let his hands travel over her backside to hike up her dress. There was no need to talk, with what she just said. There was just a need for her. And he'd give into that need, as she'd seemed to ask him to. @Chevi

He almost thought he had convinced her, when she came over to loop her arms over his shoulders... but then she spoke and maybe he'd not get more from her tonight. He gave her a surprised look then when she revealed she was a princess. Yes, it would indeed seem his taste in women had somehow gone up. A Vestal to love and a Princess to sleep with. But then she looked down and wanted her blouse back. Alexius sighed and reluctantly let go of her blouse, "Maybe, if I don't work nights. Or have something else going on... I don't really plan these things you know..." Alexius said and recalled something Lucius told him, "Cerealia is coming up. It's a Roman festival. Maybe then?" He usually didn't draw it out like that, but what if he saw Calpurnia? And what would she say, if he told her about Hilda? How could he tell her that he'd shared pleasure with another woman, but he didn't love the other woman. So many people couldn't draw the line between love and lust. Alexius could. Calpurnia wasn't most people though. Neither was Hilda. Damn those women for being so lovely. @Sara

She seemed content with him bringing her closer against him, and it felt nice having a woman who would just rest her head on his shoulder like she did. Calpurnia said they would not find out about him and that they'd find a way, because she had some power too. "I hope so. Being apart from you for so long... it's not what I want." Alexius said and looked at her, again feeling so good about her being almost his height. There were truly no women in this world quite like her. He smiled, looking at her, "I just want to be with you. All the time." He picked another kiss from her, this time a little longer, which didn't help his desire for her, but he knew he couldn't keep it at bay forever anyway. Alexius was who he was. For her sake, he tried to hold back. But it wasn't his strongest side... "Is this place... is it good enough for you?" He asked against her lips, she knew what he meant, didn't she? @Chevi

She listened quietly and Tertius wasn't sure if he'd made a mistake or what. Perhaps he should not have done this. But it felt like the right thing to do, after this morning with her... this day. He had enjoyed it with her and it would seem she'd enjoyed it too. They had asked for Vesta's blessing and would have to move forwards, together. The bracelet was a reminder of the past, but also a token of trust. He had not trusted her back then, when he took it. He wanted to trust her now. And prove that. By giving it back to her. He watched her close her fingers around the bracelet and she touched his cheek with a small smile and thanked him. Repeated that she wanted to move forward and that her past was gone. That much was true. But she didn't give him the chance to reply as she leaned in to kiss him and Tertius returned her soft and sweet kiss, his hand still under her chin and it moved to rest against her cheek. He cared for her and now that she was his wife, he could finally dare to show it. "You've done something to me since the start, Charis... my wife..." He whispered, "You still do." He said with a smile against her lips and pulled a little back to watch her, "Did you want to bathe? Would you mind if I joined you?" @Sara

Alexius heard the way she answered while she put on her skirt, "I didn't mean it like that, I just... usually don't get attached." Alexius said, almost shyly, because it was like that. Usually didn't get attached. Except for when remarkable women like Calpurnia turned up in his life. If only he'd met a woman like Hilda before that, but he hadn't. She said her brother only worried about her and then explained where she lived. Alexius arched a brow. Look at him, in love with a former Vestal and now bedding a Chatti woman who lived in the Palace. What a choice of women he had! But then she asked for her blouse and he really wasn't interested in her leaving. She wasn't the love of his life, but she was lovely. He quickly spotted the blouse and planted a foot on it before she could reach it, "I have, but why do you want it?" Alexius said with a grin. Look at her wearing a skirt and nothing on her upper body. Gorgeous... "Are you sure you won't stay? Just a little longer..." Alexius smiled, "You know it'll be worth it..." From the way she reached her climax just before, he was quite sure it would be worth it, for both of them. @Sara

She was surprised to hear his story about falling asleep on the steps to Vesta's temple and said he should be more careful. Well, he had been drunk. Probably not thinking straight. Not that that was an excuse for poor behavior, ever, but still... you did weird things were you drunk, sometimes. But she accepted his kiss and touched his face. Alexius leaned into her touch. "Will we ever? This isn't better either. And I never know if... if I'll see you again." He replied, "I know I have to be careful, with you. I know that all too well. You have powerful people watching over you. If they found out about me..." He trailed off, he didn't want to think about it. Not when he was actually with her. Who knew when she'd suddenly be married off to some old and powerful Senator and had to let Alexius go because of that? Who knew if this was to be the last time he could hold her? Just the thought made him pull her closer against him. Like he didn't want to let go of her. @Chevi

Alexius was holding back all that he could. Which might not be so much. But for her, he would do it. Even though both his heart and his body told him to not do it. Just give in. Even in a dark and dirty dungeon underneath the arena, where the monster of a man was just killed. He could still hear the roar of the crowd from above. And he could hear Calpurnia right in front of him, speaking of being busy and how she worked with her sister-in-law on a home for women. "That sounds impressive. And needed, too." Alexius said, smiling at the soft kiss she gave him. How to answer her question? "I have been... missing you." Alexius then confessed with a sigh, brushing his fingers over her backside, "More than you know. I feel like... I'm going crazy. You know, a friend of mine recently found me sleeping on the steps to your temple. Vesta's temple. I'd been drunk and that's where I fell asleep. You must have been on my mind, even then." He reached down to kiss her again, he couldn't not do it. That's what he longed to do, all the time. Hold her close and kiss her. @Chevi

She seemed amused that he wanted her to stay, and revealed that at least she didn't bring a husband to Rome. But her brother was here? That might not be so much better. Families could be tough if you'd had fun with their women... although, she didn't need to be in such a rush, did she? Alexius wanted her again. And the distraction she offered. It was either that or get too drunk again and at least pleasure felt better, right? Plus, she was stunning. He didn't lie when he told her how lovely she was. But she stood to find her clothes, leaving Alexius alone in the bed and he rolled onto his side to watch her. Women were divine, weren't they? Then she spoke again. Of no attachments and yet doing it again. "I'm not attached. Not besides me still wanting you." Alexius said with a grin, "And... I... don't know. Maybe we will? If it happens, it happens. I don't think I'd mind another time." Really he didn't, although he did still feel that pang of guilt inside. And she was leaving, that much was clear. Alexius stood to find a jar of wine and a cup to fill. "Are you sure you need to leave right now? Your brother is very strict then?" He wondered and took a gulp of the wine before offering the same cup to her, should she want a drink too. @Sara

Tertius didn't know what she'd think. Would she appreciate the gift? Would she resent him for giving it to her, after all this time? Would it bring up too many bad memories or would she realize this was his way of saying, that he trusted her and cared for her? Tertius almost held his breath while she opened her hand and looked at the bracelet he'd placed there. Many long moments passed, before she finally spoke, not looking at him, but at the bracelet. She said she couldn't accept the gift and that it was from another life. She didn't wish to look back. Not exactly what he'd hoped for, but what did he really think would happen? He was being sincere though. The bracelet was hers. And there was a deeper meaning to him giving it back to her. "I should have given it to you, the day you were freed." Tertius then said, "It's yours, after all. And when I took it... I said I'd give it back to you, once you'd proved yourself to me. You have done that, Charis." Many times, probably. But she his wife now and this had been a special day. Tertius lifted a hand to touch her chin, maybe she'd look up at him, "I don't want you to... resent me. I want to move forward too. This is my way of saying that I believe we can, both of us. Together." @Sara